You are not doing yourself, or your family, any favors by sacrificing your peace of mind for a professional goal. You can still achieve the professional goal, and in fact achieve it better/faster, if you lose the stress aspect. You HAVE to remain calm and feel in control. Protect that at all costs. Do whatever is necessary to protect your peace of mind. Your professional colleagues will think better of you, and your girls will benefit enormously.

Men..... We think we are sacrificial animals. Sheesh.......:rolleyes:

Hi Brian.
Well, at least you recognize it and seem to know what's needed. I'm sure you are great Doc. Just please take care of yourself...and your fam. BTW, I was raised in Va...Arlington...long ago. I may come back in Oct for my 50th HighSchool reunion...maybe...long ways.

Edit... +1 to what Superman posted..

Brian, are you still in residency?

what field?

Later? Life doesn't happen later, it happens now. That's not to say that later shouldn't be a consideration, but if you're living your life for tomorrow, you're not living it.

This song had a profound effect on me when I was young enough to allow a rock song to have a profound effect on me.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OYOMzGruWWo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Zactly. The art of happiness and balance is living in the present, because this is all that really exists. Everytime we are moving our attention into the past or the future, we are moving our attention away from life. Those are not my words, but mainly the teachings of Eckhart Tolle.

A lot of good posts.

I remember handing in a history paper in grade 11, and being called into the teachers office a few days later. He told me I could do much better, and then talked to be for about an hour about how everything that is worth doing, is worth doing well—because that was how we challenged ourselves, got to know our limits and became better and stronger in the process.

Somehow the lesson that "everything worth doing is worth doing well" stayed with me big time. Throughout school and university and work after that, I found it really hard to submit something as "my work" that wasn't the best I could do. This became a matter of pride, and has always remained such me. If I do something it has to be done well.

I completely get all the remarks about not giving up your soul for a job etc., and would never go there either.

But I think the lesson I learned early on was a valuable one, and I am amazed how many people do not have this kind of pride in the things that they choose to do.

I can also say that I passed that lesson on in spades to many young lawyers I trained over the years. I always insisted that the work they gave to me be the very best they could do—or not to bother.

Great insight Markus....Teachers can really influence our lives. Same thing happened to me in 6th grade. I didn't take school seriously at all until that talk.

Oh yeah, that video is great. When it came out I was just graduating from college and deciding whether I wanted to starve a bit longer and try to be a rock star or cut my hair, get a real job and put my degree to work. I decided, if I didn't do the rock star thing then, I'd probably never get to do it again. So I spent the next 18 mos. doing that (had already been doing all of my senior year too). I was so poor, I couldn't afford to pay attention, but I don't regret a single day of that era. Some amazing memories and I still get together and jam with those guys once in a while. It makes my current job a lot more tolerable too, having done that back in the day.

And I've never seen a hearse towing a U-Haul trailer.

I push hard just to get by. Mediocrity is my goal.

Be happy with what you have, but always try to improve yourself. I don't often find my work that interesting, so I give to the community by volunteering. I find you get more, when you invest yourself in the process. Noblesse oblige

I think the trick is not doing too much, but I haven't figured out where that is yet.

And sometimes musicians make a lot of sense.

I'm going to comment on Dottore's post re: "everything worth doing is worth doing well" and Burnin' Oil's "Mediocrity" post.

I've usually hewed to the do it right (i.e as perfect as possible) emphasis, but I think it can sometimes be a mistake.

If the product from a task consumes a huge amount of time or other resources, and the incremental benefit is small, then maybe one should hold back.

Bamboo vs. Oak trees might be an example. Or buying an expensive, fancy shovel that lasts a long time, but is heavy or the handle breaks and is hard to replace. Then you go out and buy a new shovel for $7.

Here, the cost can often be family or interpersonal relations. One thing is for sure, I would not want to be just starting a job with a gigantic loan burden sitting on my shoulders. Especially, if I were going into a field that was likely to change in the near future, or might cost me a lot of emotional grief that is inevitable in the practice of that field.

Sorry to foist the marginal value theorem on y'all...

Lots of things worth doing (or have to be done) are not worth doing well. In fact, probably most of the things we do in our daily lives are not worth doing well (if by "well" you mean with 100% of your effort or capacity).

The trick is (1) to get it done in a way that works and is acceptable, (2) and to be able to recognize the times when things really do need to be done 100%, and do them 100% in those instance.

I've got a good friend who can't recognize this difference and apply his genius where it would pay off the most. He's one of the most talented drummers you'll ever see. There is nothing he can't play and play perfectly. He plays in two tribute bands, one a Dave Matthews and the other a Rush tribute band - not bubble gum drumming music. He will literally spend hours getting the tiniest detail perfect, sometimes staying up all night with headphones on to the point he can barely function the next day. Yet, he's barely above homelessness. He couldn't bring himself to do the bare minimum required of him at the last good job he had and has not been able to get back on his feet in two years. It's terrible to watch such talent wasted.

To paraphrase Buffalo Springfield: Nobody's wrong if everybody's right. In the case of this thread, I'd bet it is true.

Brian in Va, relax. Then talk to those girls, take them for a ride.

+1, emphatically

I rarely agree with McLovin. But when I do, I usually give him the credit. I agree with him 100% on this post.

Being a perfectionist is a curse, and often leads to procrastination and indecision.

It is your attitude, not your aptitude that pulls up your altitude in life.

You are what you want to be.

Are you putting years in your life? Or, are you putting life in your years?

Navy SEALs creed: The only easy day was yesterday.

Good thread.

Why do people "need" to outshine others? Why the "need" to always be or have the best? Is it ego? Self esteem? Narcissism?

One of my goals is to always be young enough at heart to let music have a profound effect on me. If I can do that, much of the rest will take care of itself.

Vinny, in my case, its guilt. Its mostly related to how I was raised (poor). I need to get my thoughts together and write more later tonight.