Pelican Parts Forums - Spankings used to be a punishment

DINGO (very dramatically): No! Oh, no! Bad ... bad Zoot.

GALAHAD: Er, why?

DINGO: She has been lying again ... she told us you had promised to stay for ever!

GALAHAD: Oh!

GALAHAD: Oh ... will you excuse me?

DINGO: Where are you going?

GALAHAD: I have seen the Grail! I have seen it - here in this castle!

DINGO: No! Oh, no! Bad ... bad Zoot!

GALAHAD: What is it?

DINGO: Bad, wicked, naughty Zoot! She has been setting fire to our beacon, which I have just remembered - is grail-shaped ... It is not the first time we've had this problem.

GALAHAD: It's not the real Grail?

DINGO: Wicked wicked Zoot ... she is a bad person and she must pay the penalty. And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment ... you must tie her down on a bed ... and spank her. Come!

GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!

DINGO: You must spank her well and after you have spanked her you may deal with her as you like and then ... spank me.

AMAZING: And spank me!

STUNNER: And me.

LOVELY: And me.

DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

GIRLS: A spanking. A spanking. There is going to be a spanking tonight.

DINGO: And after the spanking ... the oral sex.

GALAHAD: Oh, dear! Well, I...

GIRLS: The oral sex ... The oral sex.

GALAHAD: Well, I suppose I could stay a BIT longer.

At this moment there is a commotion behind and SIR LAUNCELOT and CONCORD, possibly plus GAWAIN, burst into the bathing area with swords drawn and form themselves round SIR GALAHAD threatening the GIRLS.

LAUNCELOT: Sir Galahad!

GALAHAD: Oh ... hello ...

LAUNCELOT: Quick!

GALAHAD: Why?

LAUNCELOT: You are in great peril.

DINGO: No he isn't

LAUNCELOT: Silence! Foul temptress!

GALAHAD: Well, she's got a point.

LAUNCELOT: We'll cover your escape!

GALAHAD: Look - I'm fine!

GIRLS: Sir Galahad!

He threatens DINGO.

GALAHAD: No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!

GIRLS: Yes, yes, let him Tackle us single-handed!

LAUNCELOT: Come Sir Galahad, quickly!

GALAHAD: No, really, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily!

DINGO: Yes, let him handle us easily.

LAUNCELOT: No sir. Quick!

He starts pulling GALAHAD away.

GALAHAD: No, please. Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred.

GIRLS: He will beat us easily. We haven't a chance.

DINGO: Oh ****!

By now LAUNCELOT and CONCORDE have hustled GALAHAD out of the bathing area and are running through the outside door.

LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.

GALAHAD (dragging his feet somewhat): I don't think I was.

LAUNCELOT: You were, Sir Galahad, You were in terrible peril.

GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril?

LAUNCELOT: It's too perilous.

They are right outside the castle by now.

GALAHAD: Look, it's my duty as a knight to try and sample as much peril as I can.

LAUNCELOT: No, no, we must find the Grail.

The thunderstorm is over. A bunch (sic) of PAGES are tethered to a tree with more MEN waiting. Their tethers are untied and the PAGES start banging away with their coconuts. GALAHAD is swept along with them as they ride off.

GALAHAD: Oh, let me go and have a bit of peril?

LAUNCELOT: No. It's unhealthy.

GALAHAD: ... I Bet you're gay.

LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not.