friends that self-destruct or drop off the grid?
 

My oldest friend (since grade 4) has gone officially AWOL.

I had lost touch with him and no longer had contact info...little did I know...

I facebooked his brother to see if I could reconnect. Here is what he. Told me:

-after his father died, he started drinking and spiralling into a depression

-he lost his job
-he locked himself into his spare room for a year, until his second wife said enough and left him.
-they sold the house and he has not been heard of since 2010.

-the last rumour has him in Thailand, burning thru his cash from the sale of the house at $5-7,000 a month.

-his family (including his 80 year old mother) does not know if he is alive or dead.

This is a guy that I spent most of my mispent youth with.

He was always a guy who was very social, but just couldn't quite get his sh@t together to the same level as his peers

I just find it strange how someone can have a demon inside that come alive and takes them so far off the grid.

Part of me hopes he is having the time of his life living large somewhere and that he will come back and try to get it together.

The realist in me says he will go broke, get caught doing something stupid, get deported home from whereever he is and possibly end up in jail.

Mostly, I hope he is not dead or addicted to smack.

If he's spending $5-7,000 a month in Thailand, he's living it up! Probably drugs involved along with prostitutes.

I have an Army buddy who couldn't quite stick the cork back in the bottle. I loaned him $$ after he hit the skids hard, and I contacted his brother to see how he was doing, hadn't heard from him for a few years and all phone #'s didn't work.

His brother said the last contact he had with him, my friend started speaking spanish as if it was a wrong number. Talented carpenter and musician, but he has his demons...

agree!! $7k a month? damn he could buy the kingship! he is having a very good time.

my best friend cant get away from POT. only non functioning pot head i know. i'm done..i cannot tolerate his negativity.

Strange, I can't get away from PPOT either.

Oh, wait...

It's not easy to spend $5-7k a month in Thailand. Even with smack and an occasional whore.

Yep..have a good friend that is "lost"...I know where he is but not interested in his lifestyle anymore...sad really. I miss the guy I had fun with.

Umm. In Thailand they don't deport them home. They do something different to them. Especially if he's the sort of guy who has been getting through that much money a month.

I lost a very health conscious cousin, my only cousin some time last year. We usually hook up around Thanksgiving about the same time I would visit my aunt each year. All in SoCal. Last time I saw my cousin I helped him out with a little money for a storage unit. Had all my aunt's nice things, oriental rugs, antiques, lots of valuable stuff.

I fear he lost it all due to non payment, but I wasn't keeping up with him to know that for sure. All I know is he and his son up in WA don't respond to emails or contact on FB, even Linkedin where the cousin has a page.

If he lost the 1000's of $$ over a few hundred in storage, I can see why he avoids me. And his half of all my grandmother's stuff was in there too. Off the grid.

Werd...

When I worked in the sandbox, R&R consisted of a trip to Thailand...Patpong Rd... etc..

My buddy was booked at the Dusit Thani for his stay,

He came home in a casket... was found in a flea bag hotel....

For two years spent almost 24/7 with the guy and never ever saw him indulge in anything stronger than an Olympia beer...

They determined his cause of death was heroin overdose..

Ill never know how he got into that hotel room...maybe he was just to naive...

"Do not underestimate the Power of the Darkside."



I had a friend too.......




Benny

Twobone

Sad but you do not know this person any more. Lack of regard for personal self and others is tough to comprehend and this is a sad story.

Friend of mine from high school is doing 5 years on a home burglary charge. Not his first, so the 5 years is going to stick.

Drugs.

You're kidding, right?

That won't ever cover your room at the Oriental.

Another related observation is a lot of my old friends are back living with their
parents or surviving parent and some have just aquired their deceased parent's home and don't work. Failure to Launch syndrome?
I can't be to critical because I was close to that at one time.
Probably many reasons for going off the grid. Gumption has to be one of the
biggest ones.

Not wanting to inflame the discussion, but....

One conclusion I have come to is that alcohol is one of the most dangerous substances on earth. I have seen it contribute towards the majority of the divorces and some of the early deaths among my extended friends and family.

I'm OK with the occasional drink, but society's love affair with booze as escape for the masses from the troubles of modern life takes a terrible toll.

You are 100% on the money there and that Junk is readily available at your Local convenience store.

Hey, you got 911 posts.....ha ha!




Benny

Anything used to excess can be destructive. Alcohol to be certain but you could also list drugs, gambling, porn, internet, food, etc.

A friend of mine dropped off of the grid after his fiance left him. My last conversation with him was totally normal, he was looking forward to coming to my wedding and life was good. Shortly thereafter he vacated his place, disconnected his number, left town, and nobody has heard from him since. He had recently discharged from the military due to his engagement and desire to start a family, prior to leaving he had been offered a special forces gig that he declined. Our theory was that he re-enlisted after his relationship fell apart and disappeared due to his new line of work.

wish i didn't care so much
 

The more I think about it the more upset I'm getting

I guess I should let it go, but he was my closest friend for 10+ years. I guess its my desire to help if I can.

Hopefully he will pop up somewhere.

I guess he does not want help if he has cut all ties.

Believe me, if he's not contacting you it's best left alone. You could be kicking a hornets nest by trying to find him. I know if I found my friend he'd be hitting me up for money, a place to stay, use my car ("hey, you have an extra set of wheels"), etc.

what you mourn is the loss of something you once possessed........

it is gone, and will not be back. Shake the dust of that place from your feet.

Couldn't agree more. My wife and I rented a house to someone who had been my best friend since high school (at that point we had been friends for 25 + years). When we decided to sell the house and he had to move ( after first giving him the option to buy at a sweet price), we haven't heard a word from him since.... It's been over 11 years since we last spoke. Looking back, our paths started to diverge way before we parted company.

Mike