This was done to a friend, his body had all but shut down. I have seen too much death, lost many friends & family: I do not want to be kept alive by a machine or where I can't live (had a friend who had no life for the last 10 years of his life, but was kept alive by his wife:( I have been there when some have passed and right after, no fun.


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tweezers74, having been on the other side from your former job, more than once, THANK YOU!!!

I will talk about it because honestly, I have no idea what you are talking about. Every patient I had, I never administered a "lethal" dose. All the patients that passed away were usually on the dose of pain medication they were on for weeks. And just so you know, not everybody gets morphine.

Sometimes it can be disheartening when people make blanket statements without researching the truth. My job was to make the patients comfortable. To make their last moments of their life bearable so they could spend it awake, alert, and comfortable with their loved ones instead of in the hospital. By their choice.

Many do not know the true purpose of hospice. They hear stories of rapid death. But the best hospice patients are the ones who realize they don't want to chase the small statistic of a cure. They would rather spend that time at home. Doing what they want with the people they love. It is rather peaceful. I have had hospice patients that were on my patient load for over seven months. I have had patients hold my hand and tell me how much they appreciate my presence. I have cried and hugged my patients families. And to this day, even though I haven't done hospice nursing in years, I still keep in touch with some of the families.

What else do you want to talk about?

I appreciate what you have done, and know you guys are a great help to families, like mine., The one I was talking about, was at a hospital, after shutting off life support, they slowly turned up the morphine, mind you, he was comatose at the time and no chance of coming back.

I did home hospice. So most of my patients were cancer or cardiac patients who didn't want extreme measures. Just actions that would improve quality of life so they could stay in their own homes and die there. I would do things like organize oxygen, wheelchair delivery, counseling for family members or patient, medication management, home health aides to assist in cleaning/bathing. I once helped organize a patient's outing to her grandson's ball game. Like I said, our goal was quality of life. To make it possible for a patient to enjoy as much as their life as they could.

And in the process, I learned how to enjoy my life more too. :)

I am glad you had a good experience with hospice. There are good hospice nurses and not so good ones like in everything. I am glad you got a good one. :)

Yes, Hospice is amazing....they have helped with some of my family members. My step-dad passed away a few years ago but not at home - in the hospital. Everyone knew he would die but it still took a few days. I still believe the staff at the hospital never realized what a strong man he was even at 90 years old. I get the feeling when they see someone that old they just shrug and say he's lived a long life and now at that age he is too weak to get through this. Even as an advocate it is hard fighting against the current.

I hope my death is quick. That's all I can say. Painless or not - if it's quick it doesn't really matter.

And I want a viking funeral - somehow....

Every day is a gift. :)

Everyone wants a quick, painless death, but in reality, the pain can be managed but you usually don't die "all at once", death is a process and it can take a long time. Our friend's mother took several months to die, but she was actively dying for much longer than I had anticipated. I think part of the delay was due to the fact that her family was in denial. Once they acknowledged that she was leaving soon, she became much more peaceful and didn't complain of pain, she just smiled and held our hand and petted our dog.

I have not known of a hospice person who was not an Angel. Tweezer describes my impression of their work. Angels. I somewhat think this kind of death is the best of all. Everyone gets to say goodbye. The patient gets to have what they want, of what is possible, that they can have. They are comfortable and this helps take the sting out of the frightening part. I too would not want weird, extraordinary measures taken to extend and cheapen the end of my life. If hospice is in my future, it will be a significant blessing.

Thank you, Tweezer.

Let's put it this way, if I was in constant pain and I knew there was no way I would get better, I would request an overdose if I was capable of communicating my request.
This field I admit I know nothing about and I don't pretend to know anything about. I am a firm believer in the do not recusitate order if that is what is requested. I am just amazed at the health system trying to keep people alive when there is no quality of life.

same here, guess we have been lucky, I have had to deal with both "at home" and at Hospice. Because of the loses I have had there, it is very hard for my to go to the building anymore, but people like Tweezer has to be very strong to face that day to day. When I had to spend every day with a good friend, who had terminal cancer, I had to use every bit of strength to keep smiling while helping him, and when I left in the evening, I was emotionally exhausted.. I don't know how you do it, but I'm very thankful that you do..

From my experience, I would say that there isn't "constant pain" like we assume there would be. Why do we assume that dying is painful? By the time the disease process has gotten the person to the end, the pain is gone and there is an opportunity to hold their hand, tell them how much you love them and just be there. The sense of hearing is supposed to be the last sense to go, so I always make it a point to talk to the person, even if I don't think they can hear me.

While not always in physical pain, the Col. hated the fact that he had no life, he couldn't go out side, couldn't take care of him self, had no control over his bowls, could only watch TV, not much of a life for someone who had done so much..:(
And yes, the talking & holding their hands does help, more than many of us realize.

I agree with everything you say. But that is just the thing. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. Morphine isn't the only option these days. And we don't just up the dose as we please. We slowly increase the dose so the patient gets used to the dose so they aren't drowsy, but takes care of the pain. A patient doesn't have to be in pain. But all people die differently. Not always in pain. They are instead short of breath, so we give them oxygen.

And you know, sometimes we know there isn't much we can do for a patient but the family wants to sustain them on life support. We as healthcare providers can not just take them off as we please. Even patients who do have DNR orders, their power of attorney for healthcare can over ride it if the patient becomes of not right mind. So choose your POA for healthcare wisely and let them know your wishes in detail. And the POA for healthcare is different than a regular POA so make sure you designate one.
Most people don't know that.

I agree with you. There were times where I saw where nothing could be done but we sustained life. Not because we wanted to. Not because the patient wanted to. But because the family wanted to. It's hard to let go. It's hard to "give up" but in reality, they are keeping their loved one alive for selfish reasons. Believe me. But we can't decide as health care providers. We have to work with the rules and laws of the system. We are damned if we do, damned if we don't. But in the end, I just want to do what's right for the patient.

For notation, what your post refers to is probably very much against the law even when self-administered....but I hope as a society there is a change in this illegality of self-determination, and a more rational discussion of end quality-of-life issues.

An old childhood buddy suffered from a drug reaction which brought on a nervous system disease. He has probably been close to brain dead for the last decade, but his parents keep the shell of his existence alive on life support through insurance which could help many others.
I think that is more than sad.

The family had decided to pull the plug, as he too was brain dead, 76 and of course the fact that he was an organ donor didn't hurt either. :(
It was also what he said he wanted (living will)

Held my grandfathers hand when he was dying.
He had a massive stroke 3 days before, had never woken up, was breathing on his own
but was struggeling more and more..
Doc said he'de never come out of it, and during the night his breating was becoming more labored.. nurse came, and said he had a high fever.. and said he'de adminsiter something for that...
I questioned at that time if that would be prolonging his struggle.. But either way, within 15 minutes he went.. and i can only describe it as a candle that was burning out quietly.


To me, the human body is a system of biological processes.
All things need to work together to sustain life.

If certain parts stop working, or work less well , quality of life will decrease..
If it get's bad enough, the entire system will stop and life will end.

Now, like a mechanical system , there are many ways.

For instance trauma, is like somebody sticking a breaker bar in the cogs of a big machine.
It will come to a screeching halt.

Or a built in manufacturing defect : One of the main drive shafts of the big machine breaks prematurely... can't be replaced while it's running, and the machine stops

Or perhaps the machine is just so old, that all the replaceable parts have been replaced, and it's just been running slower, and slower, and slower till at some point it quietly stops running..


The only difference with mechanical machines, is that our machine can't be stopped.
We can replace or fix some parts on the fly, but we can't replace the Motronic box, we can't do a full frame restoration ... Once it fully stops , that's it.

i acknowledge that the ticker can be stopped and jump started, and that the brain can survive a short while with cooling and whatnot.. but essentially , we can't bring anybody back from actual death.

I think death is not the problem.. it's the dying part that is.
The longer that part lasts, the worse.

Quality of life, having the best time you can
And a quick death is really what anybody should really hope for.

What good is it to become 100 years old, if 30 years of it is spent being miserable?
I'll take an active life till and a massive stroke at 70 over really old age and a slow demise.

Agree with the above, angels. I wish more people would go into that field. With an aging population we're going to need them. Bless you for the work you do. It's truly noble.

Yes Tweezers thank you, thank you very much.