Advice on discovery-i.e questioning by Atty's.-help.
 

This Thursday I will be interrogated by Lawyers for an idiot that almost killed my Son and I over 2.5 years ago.

I am not looking forward to this in any way. It is a kind of torture for me in a way to be questioned about what residuals I have after this episode.-I despise it- AND ALL Lawyers!!!

Been through this before many years ago and what happens is they they atty's make you feel like the YOU are the guilty one.

I am so-so very tired mentally and physically about this type of cross-examination .I really feel so exhausted. Terribly and obviously to the closest ones.

I also am dealing with an awful perpetual divorce which has no ending and a Custody battle in which, I the Father is a damn good one and innocent in any wrong doings to the kids.-never- and a Mother that has caused her Kids to run-away to me and has had her Son have a restraining order against -HER !!

I still and my SON IS STILL FIGHTING TO LIVE WITH ME !!

It really is a lot of pressure and I feel I will explode any time now.

I'm asking you people more knowledgeable than I and perhaps smarter, how should I handle this cross examination from this car crash which was no part of my own!!-?

I'd appreciate your advice.
Thanks.

I hope you will have your OWN lawyer there right? Make sure you do and do what he tells you.

Be strong. Answer simply. Only answer exactly the question asked and NOTHING else. Focus on the question. Don't let them lead you anywhere. Just answer simply.

Your angry, understandably so. But they don't need to know about that. Do the job that you need to do to get past this one day, and take the next day as it comes.

I have gone though that process once. Would not want to do it without my lawyer!

your atty should prep. you

besides the above - take your time answering - do not blurt anything out; say as little as possible

do not expand or speculate or guess

never lie

And another thing: Never mention any written or printed records of yours. They could be subpoenaed by the opposing party then and rifled for information benefiting only them. If you don't know answers for sure say I don't remember. That is what my lawyer trained me to do.

I agree that you should have an attorney representing you. If you do not, consider postponing the deposition and requesting that your insurance company provide you with one. Insist on meeting with your attorney several days before the deposition to help you prepare. But, from your post it sounds like you and/or your son are the Plaintiff's. I used to take and defend lots of depositions. Here is the advice I would give my clients:
Be honest and as accurate as possible even if YOU think it will hurt your case. Don't exagerate of minimize things. Don't say, I couldn't walk for a week when it was really six days. Don't say I can't sleep at night when you mean I have trouble falling asleep. Be polite and respectful. You don't have to call the lawyer sir or ma'am, but I would call the lawyer Mr. Jones or Ms. Smith. This is especially imporant if the deposition is being video taped because it may be played for the jury. You want the jury to like you. It won't help your case if you come across as angry and evasive. Relax and answer the questions as best you can. "I don't know" "I don't remember" "I don't understand your question" are all acceptable answers as long as they are true. Don't let the attorney mischaracterize something you have said. Correct the attorney politely.
"Its a yes or no question" is a favorite of a lot of attorneys, but if you can't answer yes or no, tell the attorney. If they insist on a yes or no answer do your best and ask if you can explain your answer. "Yes, but I'd like to explain." The lawyer has to give you a chance to answer and if he doesn't it will look like he is trying to hide something. Stay calm and don't get argumentative even if he provokes you. The meaner the attorney gets the nicer you should be. Of course you should stick up for yourself and not get pushed around, but do it in a mature and respectful way. Don't start answering a question until the attorney is done asking it. The attorney should let you answer the question fully, too. Don't let the attorney cut you off. If he/she does, just simply say, "I wasn't done answering the last question." Don't be in a hurry to get out of the deposition as uncomfortable as it may be. Ask for breaks if you want. No matter how onry the attorny is, he will be candid with his client regarding your performance in the deposition and it will have an impact on their evaluation of the case. If he walks away from the deposition knowing the jury will like you, he will share that with his client in making a recommendation on settlement value of the case.
Relax and I'm sure you will do fine.

Tim

I would suggest not telling the people you ask for help that you despise them and everyone like them.

Don't let him (other atty) get to you. Don't take the questions you're asked personally. It's his (or her) job to get you to crumble and look less-than-credible. Even if he does it with a song in his voice and smile on his face. Whether you like it or not, that's the game.

Mikeesik, I understand that this is a nervous-making event for you and that you're not a mental match for these lawyers, but you've gotten some great advice here for free. You do realize that the most helpful posts were from lawyers, right?

Most people only dislike lawyers until they really need one. You really need one and still haven't figured it out. You need help. Your personality, as witnessed here, is going to create a field day for the opposition unless you have someone smarter holding your leash.

Good luck and get some representation.

I always had excellent experiences and full respect with for the lawyers that were on my side! I even found myself respecting some lawyers on the other side.

That's great advice right there.

Make sure you have representation with you!

Take your time. Repeat the question back to them in your words to ensure you understand what you are being asked. This will also throw off the opposing attorney's rythm.

Just the facts, no embellishment unless your attorney directs. Be civil, have a nice dinner afterwards.

This and all things will come and go, moments are fleeting so we must enjoy the ones we have or choose to be unhappy.

Enjoy the time with your son, it is most important.

I've been in this (almost) exact situation. Traffic accident years back off of the beltway. Had a guy T-bone me from a side access road. He was charged. All the above advice is spot on. I did have an attorney present.

The one thing I remember most is the attorney for the Insurance company looked like Dolph Lungren (sp?) - You know the actor that played the Russian fighter in the Rocky movies? Guy was very intimidating.

I've done a lot of taking and defending depositions and have a lot of good advice I could give you. But you don't want any advice from me as apparently you despise all lawyers and I'm a lawyer. Good luck.

I am not a psychologist or a lawyer but an older guy.
You and your son have had a serious accident and you have been through a divorce. A psych. would say that you have experienced two highly stressful situations. Close to 30 years ago I went thru a divorce, no kids though and found it stressful. I understand your situation and you will get through it. Yes listen to these fellow pelican posters. They make a lot of sense. I can hear the pain in your post. Do what you have to do especially for your son's sake.Good luck and you will survive all this!

A lawyer once was prepping me for a depo and as an example of how specific to answer he asked me "Do you know what time it is?" I looked at my watch and said "11:15". He said "Wrong answer. That isn't what I asked you. You should have looked at your watch and said Yes"

(disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer, so read this post on limited merits)

It will be abrief oral examination of factual knowledge, not a written interogatory. Oral, as in from an experienced a-hole prison rapist.
-Keep that in mind, and never lose your perspective, or your cool.
-Understand they will act like jerks, because as attorneys they are not under oath and still get paid regardless of whatever happens.

There is a basic format to these:
1). "Admit or Deny RIGHT NOW......our warped theory of events which we personally were not witness to (as a neutral 3rd party). Basically, we are questioning you on "facts" which we can (legally) make up on the spot. We can lie and we can use any pyschological trick in the book".
2). "If Deny, explain, and give us excuses to find fault/incongruities in your memory of those events."

To prepare for this hearing, it's best to read over all the written legal documents carefully(police/fire/insurance/witness/everything)
If documents are missing, or you haven't read them yet, and you can't respond at this time.

If you are unsure of something or unwilling to answer at this time, say so.
-Say "I am not ready to comment on that at this moment". No other reason is necessary. They will want a reason right-then-and-there, but you can say "I don't have all the relevant information at this time to make a statement on that".
-Go on the offensive, and request a list of all the written documentation they have in their possesion.

Always remember, they still get paid no matter what the outcome.

I am so sorry to hear about what you're facing. There are a number of "How to Be a Good Witness" guides out there. This is a pretty good one:
http://www.pacwcbt.pitt.edu/Curriculum/205%20Safety%20Perm%20%20Well-Being%20Pt%20III/Handouts/HO%209HowtoBeaGoodWitness.pdf
You sound extremely stressed. How well do you know your doctor? You can go to him and ask him for a prescription for half a dozen Xanax. I have to do public speaking about 6 times a year and my doc (bless him) will give me a few Xanax. Take one several days before you testify to see how you react to them.

Oh Hells yes! I didn't catch it that you were considering going in there alone. Take an attorney with you.