Question: inviting SO to company lunch?
 

This afternoon we had a lunch for a co-worker who is retiring; I was picking up the tab on behalf of the company. Not one but two people had their significant others meet them at the restaurant; one was a husband the other a girlfriend. After lunch, we all went back to the office; well, except for the tagalongs.

Is this an acceptable practice? I didn't say anything, and picked up the whole tab, but this seems kinda iffy. Maybe not outright sleazy, but definitely strange.

What should be the protocol for this? My charter was to buy lunch for a small group of people who had worked with this guy.

That's weird. I would never invite a SO to any company event unless my company specifically stated I could or I talked to my manger about it. Even if they did pay for themselves, I think it still should be cleared with the boss. Unacceptable.

THe tagalongs spouses should pay you, but if they don't then you should get marks in the Big Chief notebook that god is keeping on you.

Its odd for the case you describe. However if the SO's were very close part of the work group, the extended work group and were at other functions, I would not sweat it.

My wife and I both have significant company functions. I work for a law firm; she works for a large corporation. The rule is no spouses/significant others unless specifically invited. Over the course of the year she probably has 30 after work functions of one kind or another. I'm invited to about 3. My firm has about the same number of family/spouse/SO events.

The rule is that if there is not a business purpose to the spouse/SO being there, they should not attend. That being said, the OP handled the situation properly. I mean, what are you going to do in that situation other than grin and bear it? The only reason non-employees should attend a retirement lunch is either because it was a big blow-out deal where spouses were invited, or if they had a special longe term relationship with the person who is retiring.

Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just didn't know any better.

That's odd. If the SO's were friends of the honoree, it is less so, but still awkward to assume they could come along.

These were not friends or acquaintances of the honoree; he'd never met them until today. I hadn't either.

I suspect the just saw an opportunity for a free lunch.

What about the co-workers who brought them along? Old timers or young and clueless?

Before you get too bent out of shape they may approach you for reimbursement at a later date.

YMMV

Suspect?

c'mon.

OTOH, obligatory lunches suck.

So there is such a thing as a free lunch?
Jim

General rule is that you handle it before the bill comes, or you make sure it does not happen again. If you want to collect now, you need someone else to make the decision.

Once is an error.

did they order an extra meal to go for dinner? that happened to me once when i bought lunch for a group. :(

Not Kosher, but if the company is paying, you shouldn't eat it, so to speak. Would the company have expected to have you make a scene and insist on payment for the SO's? I'd hope not. You didn't say how many people, but did it add 5% or 10% to the bill?

The SO's shouldn't show up unless invited by the host and then I would say all partners should be invited. Pretty rude to just bring them along and exclude some others because their companion thought it was impolite to come without an invitation.

Bingo. As a result future invitations should make it clear that this is a lunch for co-workers only.

There are two possible scenarios a) the spouses were friends with the retiring worker, in which case they should have arranged their own lunch on different day b) they were freeloaders.

There were 8 people total, with 2 freeloaders.

From what I could tell, the significant others were not acquainted with the people who actually worked with the guy; they were just straight-up freeloading. In the future, I'll make it clear in the invitation that it's for employees only. Our official policy doesn't even allow temp workers to partake in these events.

I could see inviting significant others for a big off-premises event like a Christmas party.

well, i'll be damned! hahahha.

Back in the days when I worked I was in our new president's office and he mentioned he had received an invitation to a Christmas luncheon with a good customer of ours. (NYC - Gallagher's Steak House) I was a close personal friend of the customer company president and always got an invitation as well, had been attending for years and it was always just the customer salesperson and their company officers and key sales personnel. (About 60 in attendance, mostly guys) My president says, "How do you think George would feel if I brought my GF?" I say, no, it's just key personnel, not guests. I tried to make it very clear. Douche bag president RSVP's that he will attend and so I figure all is OK. I'm early at the luncheon cocktail hour and low and behold, in comes my president with the girlfriend. I'm actually talking with George, the host company president he he gives me a funny look and says, what's the story. I told him I said it was not appropriate and George, being the great host that he is just laughs it off and makes room for the bimbo who by the way is dressed in a white pant suit in NYC in early December.

I couldn't freaking believe this ********* president just disregards what I told him. Needless to say he was fired within two years. He was a real idiot to work for and I worked for SEVEN presidents in 30 years while at that company. Probably says a little about how bad the company really was.

I also took a trip to Germany with the president, that was just a comedy club routine. Everyday was a string of new embarrassments. Funny now but it wasn't back when I had to drag this idiot around Europe with the GF.

If I was your manager and you submitted that receipt, I would expect you to deduct their meals. How this translates in real life is that the receipt gets submitted as is without the names of the moochers included.