Just Need to Vent
 

So, this is the first time posting in OT, but I don't feel like there is enough Porsche content to warrant the "technical" forum. I just need to b***ch to the masses.

I'm getting married exactly one month from today, and I couldn't be happier about that. However, those of you who have gotten married know the amount of stress that comes with the planning of it. Now, trust me, my fiancee is NOT a bride-zilla by ANY means, but there is so much minutia that it has put me a bit on edge. So, there's that.....

On a related note, I have been trying to find a way to afford the perfect honeymoon for my fiancee, but the cost is definitely an issue. I do not regularly have the disposable income that a lot of Porsche owners do. I am budgeted down to the last dime. I thought that I had developed a plan that would work. I had planned to trade my '88 for an '85. The price difference between the two would pay for the honeymoon, but I would still get to have a 911 as my wedding getaway car. My appeal is in the model, not the actual vehicle. Unfortunately, on 8/31, on my way to trade cars, I got in a wreck, resulting in about $6k worth of front-end damage.

While I was obviously upset about not being able to trade cars and pay for a honeymoon, I had a glimmer of hope in that I thought I could replace some of the parts myself, thereby saving some money so I could pay for the honeymoon that way. I am now in the process of removing parts (which is NOT going well), sourcing parts (which is NOT going well), and having my body man fix all the dents (which would be going well if he had the parts I can't get). All that, and I need to have it done by the wedding day.

Next, the used truck that we had bought for her landscaping business decided it needed to go haywire. We had to take it to a dealer to replace/re-code a new computer to the tune of $700 (that we don't have).

Finally, I spent last weekend at her house. When we got back to my house, we found that the hot water heater had blown a leak, and was seeping water under the laminate floor in the kitchen. So, I go to buy a new hot water heater, and the salesman doesn't hear me say "gas", and I don't realize that I got "electric" until I get back home. Then, we find out that my house has no attic access so we have to spend an hour blindly trying to get the vent to escape through the top of the roof. Anyway, we call the insurance agent. He is going to send an adjuster out, but in the meantime, they will contact a clean-up crew to clean up the water damage. Apparently the laminate was installed over moldy berber carpet, which was installed over asbestos tiles. Now, my kitchen is quarantined, and my refrigerator is in my living room.

All of this crap in the span of three weeks is SERIOUSLY getting to me. I have had to file a claim with every insurance company I have within the past year. That can't be good. I just want to be married, and not have to worry about my car, or my vacation time, or what color the beads should be at the wedding, or if my house is safe to live in. I'm just pissed. Sorry for the rant. I feel marginally better.

Just hum the Carpenters song "We've only just begun" and you'll be fine.

Pittsburgh, KS huh? Not to far from me.

Just think of it this way - things can only get better.:) Sometimes $h!t just happens, try not to dwell on it and focus on just surviving. Considering your situation, I would say to hell with everything else and focus on the wedding. Lets the pros focus on fixing your other problems and just get past the biggest and most stressful event in your life. In six months you and your wife will be laughing about all of this crap.

Put what you need to have fixed on a credit card. 20 years from now it will be a non-event.

Hopefully in 20 years you and your bride will look back and chuckle at all of this. Its the marriage and your partner that are important. Focus on that and keep moving forwards!

Wow, some rough luck.

It does not help now but someday you will be able to tell about the month from hell and laugh about it.

First Allen sorry for your misfortune. As others have said in x amount of years you'll look back at all this and be the stronger for it.
With that said I'm not sure why you are picking out bead colors etc for the wedding. Do you really care? You already are doing the hardest part, saying "I do".

With all due respect to Matt I would not just let the pros handle the other stuff. The pros probably put down the wood floor over the moldy carpet in the first place. You need to stay on top of your home to make sure it IS livable especially if you two are planning on living there. Have a talk with the Mrs. to be. Tell her you have faith in her bead decisions etc & you'll help as much as possible but at this point you need to keep focused on the house, (& the car if it is that important to you, ((& her)).
I may have been lucky but basically I had to show up for the wedding, the bead colors were fine with me.

Good luck with it all.

This too shall pass.

Hang in there, and smile, anyway. You will laugh about it in the years to come.

While I never recommend to turn a blind eye to what your contractors are doing, it doesn't sound like our friend here has the bandwidth to DIY much of anything at the moment, and that's coming from a hardcore DIY guy. Keeping his sanity (and the sanity of his fiance) should be top priority. If insurance is paying for it to be fixed, let them fix it.

It will all get resolved. Getting married can be stressful, but try to focus on the positives.

In my case, 3 days prior to my wedding, I found out that our reservations for our honeymoon in Hawaii were gone. Turns out the owner of the travel agency I booked through embezzed against the company, took the money and ran. Long story short -- I eventually got my $$ back through my Credit Card Company (Citibank), and my department's secretary was able to make reservations for a nearly identical trip to Hawaii on that day. Of course, it cost me an additional $1000.00 for the trip, but that didn't matter at that point.

Do you need your p-car? Is it your daily driver? If not, I would consider selling it for now, until you are able to get to a better financial situation. Will you have a huge wedding to pay off afterwards? Can your financee help with paying for the honeymoon? Do you have any investments you can cash in to pay for the honeymoon? Can you borrow against a 401k to pay for it? Short term loan from a friend?

If you look hard enough, I am sure you will find a viable solution.

Good luck!
-Z

PS: Been married 17 years now, and still my honeymoon story makes for good conversation...

I truly wish there is a day long down the line..
when both of you laugh about this..
and the other oops coming down the line..
trust us...
it's gonna happen

focus & take care of each other..
stuff will happen whether your broke or flush..

Rika

Matt, you're right (It's cool to see another Kansan, by the way. I'm through Wichita fairly often). I don't really have the.....bandwidth....at the moment. I'm definitely running dial-up for a few more months. I definitely plan on insurance paying for it, while I keep myself abreast of what's going on inside of my own house. The house is still inhabitable, but the kitchen has been quarantined by the asbestos crew. I'm still trying to figure out who in their right mind would install laminate flooring over carpet! Seriously!

I'm definitely trying to be positive about everything, but it's hard. I will say that this wedding/honeymoon can't come soon enough. I need a break from life......and a stiff drink! Haha!

Maybe this is actually a good thing. You're getting all of the crap out of the way before the wedding so that one you're married, it'll be smooth sailing for a bit. Maybe hardship at the beginning will help forge the marriage. Good luck!

As a contractor I can say, although wrong, the laminate was installed over the carpet because the carpet was likely glued to the tile. To remove the carpet was to disturb the asbestos (not really , but that's how the EPA nazis see it). So, now the whole floor system should be removed as it should have been before. Let them bag off the kitchen and tear that shc!t out.

With a new subfloor down, you're ready for new laminate or whatever you choose. Consider it a blessing. The hassle is temporary.

I can't help with the cars or the wedding, but I think the guys are right. It will be a good story to tell the grandkids.

Best of luck.

Congrats on the wedding!

Just don't sweat it. I'd love to have a fridge in my living room, it makes it easier to grab another beer!:D

The wedding and your wife are the two most important things right now, after ten years I can tell you with 100% confidence - happy wife, happy life. The rest of it will sort itself out. Let me know the next time you make it through Wichita, two diamond blue CE cars together doesn't happen often.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1347483287.jpg

I have thought about the wedding car often. I even started a thread on it. When I got married I drove away my car a '91 Toyota Tercel, no air, no air bags, no power anything. I think in retrospect I might have enjoyed renting an old classic. I see no harm in renting your get away car. Hired cars are used all the time for weddings.

Are you at least $25? Is there any way to rent a cool car for the day?

Top 10 Exotic Cars You Can Rent - Edmunds.com

Awesome Doug! As good as the 'Whipped' magazine covers.

Just put yer dog in the backyard, and PPOT will take your mind off this other mundane crap :)

ps: I keed, I keed...congrats on the upcoming wedding!

Pfffffffffffttttttttttttt.

Sorry to hear your pains about common mere mortal life events......

"the car is broke and the water heater is leaking, and oh by the way I bought the wrong water heater at a store gas/vs/electric........."


Welcome to the real world.........

honestly, not to be harsh, but try several ambulance ride with family members after having a little old lady total your porsche 911, and have your Mom go through brain surgery for cancer with little chance to live and chemo and radiation.............and then I'll find your pain about a water heater, moldy carpet, and a truck computer............after you're married, you'll soon get your priorities "adjusted" to what is important in life.

Any time, ANY TIME, people are feeling low or that life isn't fair, go hang out in an emergency room at a hospital somewhere, and see what other people are going through once the ambulance rolls up.


Once again, not to be harsh, but welcome to the last 3+ years of my life.

but congrats on tying the knot with a special lady............ps, nobody in 5 years will remember what your wedding colors were, or the food or punch, so do this for YOU BOTH and what is special to you. It's not the money, but the love and special being there for each other...........in sickness AND in health

Matt -- Actually, somehow mine is a Diamond Blue '88, but it isn't a CE. I think I looked it up once, and it doesn't fall within the appropriate VINs. I have regular blue carpet with regular non-script seats.

Dave -- First of all, I don't know if you remember me, but you sold me a Guards Red Carrera tail/decklid a few years ago for one of my previous 911's. I still use the Speedster keychain you threw in!

Please understand that I am not trying to start a competition of "whose life is tougher at the moment". We ALL have issues that we are dealing with, and I'm NOT trying to say that mine are more significant than anyone else's. I was simply trying to publicly vent my frustrations so that I might feel better. I am not looking for sympathy, nor am I looking for anyone to help me "fix" anything. I'm not questioning the fairness of the situation. Life sucks. Period. For everyone. Sometimes, it's just nice to know that someone......anyone is listening. It's like a free therapy session. The post was more for my benefit than anyone else.

As for priorities, everyone has their own specific priorities in their own specific order. I'm sure for several people, their children are their number one priority. Since I don't have children, their health does not really concern me at the moment. While I am blessed to have my family in good health, physically, that does not mean that it's not a priority. It's just lower on the list at this particular moment in time. I do not agree that I need my priorities "adjusted". I do agree that priorities change, depending on a number of life events.

In any event, I sincerely hope and pray that your situation improves as well. I think everyone on this planet knows someone affected by cancer. Thank you for the congratulations, and I truly appreciate your comments.

My daddy once told me that "it's easier to prevent a bad habit than to break one". OK that's not quite true, he didn't tell me that once. More like a gazzilion times.

When I married my wife I just finished Univ. of Reno fire-fighting academy.
I had her drive up to meet me at Tahoe where we rented a suite and got married in a local chapel. The next day we drove home.

We've been married just over 20 years and we are still both very careful with a dollar, but we never have to stress about money at all.

Alan, my understanding is that Diamond Blue Metallic was only used on the Commemorative Edition cars in 1988. At least that is what my online research has turned up. Does yours have silver blue carpet or the metallic blue door panels or steering wheel?

Mine does not have the signature seats, no silver carpet, no color-matched Fuchs, no metallic blue door panels. It's just a Diamond Blue '88. I think the CE's were a limited run at the beginning of the model year. My VIN ends in ***1401. Here are some pictures from the day I brought her home.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/porsche-911-technical-forum/560213-call-silver-blue.html

Guess you learn something new every day......

Women are generally good eggs, but they will never turn down anything we offer them. If YOU make huge sacrifices out of love, it will be nobody's fault but your own, BUT - YOU will feel stressed, and may create huge resentments.

Stripping out, or selling your car is a one trick pony. It may not gain you that much, and it may degrade the value of your car. Cars may come and go, but if you keep your Porsche and you are o0n a budget, you may have to park it when other matters are more pressing than car maintenance.

It is natural to have the jitters before a wedding, and it is natural to want to give your new bride everything. Feeling poor because you can't is a common feeling, but doing foolish things is optional, and giving too much of yourself or your finances is bad for your living situation, and bad for your relationship.

The best things in life often come slowly, and develop over a period of years. It is hard to get a sense of this when you are starting out, but know this - Slow and Steady wins the race.

Be honest about your finances and abilities, and don't foster a secret sense of shame and or a poverty mentality. Kings of old did not enjoy all the luxuries that we average folks take for granted. Be here now, and enjoy the things you have and can AFFORD. Concentrate on living well within your means, and developing a prudent reserve for rainy days.

Don't make promises you can't keep, or write checks you can't cash. Poor is a state of mind. You obviously have that state of mind. Look at your screen name. Change your thinking, and look at the big picture over the long haul.

Women like confident, secure men. Get your head straight. Right now there are a bunch of monkeys running around in there. If there are any older married man that you respect, you need to hang with them. Stick with the winners, and you will be all right.

Good luck will often come to those who keep a clear head and act sensibly. Doing things that freak you out usually is an indicator that you are not listening to your gut. Do you want to look like the great provider, or do you want to have a successful life ?

One, two, three, four

I just want to ventilate another day of livin'
I just want to ventilate another day of life

I put my faith in the female people
But the women people let me down
So I turned the other way
And I carry on, anyhow

That's why I'm telling you
I just want to ventilate, yeah, yeah
Another day of living, yeah
I just want to ventilate another day of life

....


with apologies to Rare Earth

Rare Earth. I thought that sounded familiar.