I got one for ya.....
 

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a
gang of bikers who were sexually threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave
her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the **** out of all of you!
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'

stealing it !

How do you turn your dishwasher into a snow plow?








Hand the b**ch a shovel!