I clicked on this thread expecting to read about reverse mortgages as I don't know much about how they work. My wife's father is very tight lipped about his finances and we think he has a reverse mortgage. And I also get to contribute to house repairs but expect no inheritance.

Where is that? :eek::eek::eek:

I'm sorry in advance if I am misinterpreting the original post, but I read it as, "Why should I help my relative unless I get an inheritance." Frankly, these are two different things. You help someone because it is the right thing to do, not because you expect some reward from them in the end. If they are not deserving help, then don't. If you do, make it out of the kindness of your heart, not hoping for some reward in the end and then feel bitter if/when it doesn't come.

Personally, I have been very fortunate in my life, but no thanks to my parents. They divorced when I was 7 and my dad was well off and gave us nothing. Living with my mom we had nothing as she worked as a drug/alcohol/mental health counselor while trying to raise five kids and pissed any little thing she had away and is now practically penniless at 80. We even lived in the projects (Google Laclede Town in St. Louis). Fortunately, she has her health and is still working. I left home at 17, moved around the world for work, and built a great career through hard work and sacrifice. Now I'm expected to help support her and I do it (sometimes admittedly feeling irritated) and am constantly asked for money by my siblings and their kids. I always say no. Not because I know I won't get anything in return, but because I feel that they have made poor choices more driven by their convenience than working towards defined goals. Not my values, so they are on their own.

Lets talk about how much those parents paid for the first 18 year (or more) of those kids lives to feed, clothe, educate... Now lets talk about what the parents sacrificed to help them take dance lessons, buy a home, start a business... Lastly, factor in gifts and free babysitting to the grandkids. I think that those 3 kids got a real deal if they only spent $100k. Entitlement? No. One-way selfishness? Totally.

If they helped you in the past then don't have a short memory. If they didn't sow into your life and you have no compassion or tolerance for a loved relative that is less intelligent than you in money matters than you; just walk away and "say not my problem". Not everyone is a financial genius. Are you saying just because they don't have money common-sense they deserve to be thrown in the street like trash?

+1

My parents reverse mortgaged their home for 2/3 of its value (paid in a lump sum that was immediately "invested" in a local to them Indian casino) after refusing to sell it to my siblings and I. Of course they claim that they cannot pay monthly expenses and property taxes either. I have sent money in the past but after learning that was going to the casino too, I was done sending money. Oh...and my parents sold a business and retired at 42 and 43 but are now 69 and 70. "We never thought we would live this long"

I can kind of see how one could be insulted with the $1 in the graduation card and the general "do it yourself" attitude...

I'd have long talk with them, but ultimately you can't let them be on the street. They didn't put you out there as a kid, did they?

As already stated....this isn't a business transaction or a "tit for tat" scenario. No, it's not fair. It's only based on conscience and a desire to help. If it's not in your heart to do so...then don't.

If the reverse mortgage angers you because they're using your inheritance, think again. It's the only reason they're not living in your basement!

In that classic "real estate" thread from 6-7 years ago :D

Reverse mortgages are just another way for scumbags to take advantage of innocent unknowing people.
I looked into them just in case I needed one 10 or 20 years down the road. The upfront fees are pure usury! Government insured my a$$! You don't need such a thing government insured! Just another example of "those who concern themselves with money" screwing those who live on a higher level.

Anything Govt insured is a butt-rape cost-wise. they only do it since they are the only game in town.

FHA is expensive, but the only game in town that does what it does. You pay points, a Up front fee, and monthly PMI forever on it. Sux.

If my parents use every last dime supporting themselves in their own home it wouldn't matter to me.
Hope they never have to go the reverse mortgage route. Even the commercials seem slimy.