How to Save the Airlines
 

How to Save the Airlines...

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place....

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

According to your media services the 911 hijackers frequented titty bars so...

But otherwise excellent ;)

you could also follow the lead of Air Canada and have the gov't bail them out with our tax dollars, more than once.

^wouldn´t need a bailout if they had strippers instead of the cranky old witches AC seems to keep.

The female attendants ARE strippers! That's what they look like when the lights are turned on!!! :eek:

Mike, that is so wrong, in so many ways...

When I fly and especially when I have a middle age male.flight attendant, I always think....is THIS the glamourous life the recruiter sold you on? How depressing.

In the "old" days, the stews were nurses. My father claims that most of them were "hot school teachers" in the late 60's and 70's, because the airlines paid a lot better than teaching school.

Didn't several U.S. airline CEOs go begging in front of congress in the days after 9-11? IIRC, a few of the bigs took gummint money but a couple didn't need to.

Remember too that when airlines like United and American go bankrupt they gladly dump their pension obligations onto the federal government (PBGC).

Socialism for the rich, capitalism for the rest of us.

Add to that the pill coming on scene in the early 1960s and you have the ingredients for a sexual revolution. Many a marriage crumbled under that strain! All those young Boomer girls on the pill getting stew jobs. Think of it.

Hooters Air - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

been around for awhile.. and failed.. lol..

Maybe charge the amount they should charge for air fair....Air lines started out for the the more affluent.
Now they try to pander to everyone no one is happy.

I have a both a sister and a first wife that were flight attendants. The unions protected these f/a's so they could be lifers. The ideal that many of you are talking about of beautiful young f/a's is a myth because women have made a career out of it so many of them will be there until age 65. This is common to US and Canadian carriers. The overseas flights generally have the oldest flight attendants on because they can get their time in quicker. The younger ones are junior and end up working more days doing the internal flights. There may be airlines that don't have unions but if that is the case there is still a pecking order....

You can also ask yourself if you were married to an f/a would you think it fair that the airlines asked her to leave because she was old, fat or ugly?

Many of them have been dumped by their husbands too and their job is what keeps them out of the poor house. It may have been glamorous (before deregulation) in the old days but like many other once glamorous jobs its glamour was cost-cut by the suits who now fly on Gulfstream Vs.

Shut up, take your seat, don't be a dick to the flight attendants. You want better service then feel free to pay for better service.

Airline joke: "We're not happy until you're not happy."

Yes, this can be applied to business in general.

^ This.

Unfortunately, in today's world, the great unwashed believes that they have the right to near-free airfare to haul their entitled fat derrieres to wherever they please. No one cares that the airplane cost is $30 million, with another five figures for fuel, and employee costs, landing fees, etc, etc...

The margin these airlines exist on are wafer-thin and they only survive in volume of passengers moved.

Airlines should be able to charge a fare that would cover all of their expenses but unfortunately, there's always some one in the business willing to undercut their competitors in a fast race to the bottom.