I meant to friend them so they will work to get you some new biz in your present area... it sorta sounds this co. is not well mg'd overall...

good luck

Meditation - it teaches you how to empty your mind of all thoughts, good, bad and indifferent. Very helpful in stressful times.

Oh, and shut off the damn e-mail once in a while.

This is sound advice. I believe what you enjoy so much - being in your undies at work - may be what's hurting in the long run. The border between work and spare time is very blurry and it will start feeling like work more and more, instead of the other way around.

I truly believe that having a work location that is physically separated from home makes compartmentalizing very simple. Do not take the computer, keep the work phone off. Bingo.

I went to a flip phone from a smart phone 1.5 years ago and it has been a true blessing. I would find myself reading emails in the evenings and start worrying about stuff that I had a) no control over and b) could not do anything about until the next day anyway. Yes - sometimes I miss out on something or it spins out of control by the time I can go correct it, but the positive of having a few hours to yourself in the evening far outweigh the down sides.

G

Sounds like you ARE on your deathbed, in a manner of speaking. How many others in your division work from home?

My other thought, play more music for less stress. I would if I could.

I'm an old school guy so please accept this from a different point of view.

I would never ever recommend to anyone to air your work or difficulties you may have. This is a public forum and you open yourself to anyone who see this. Employers do background checks and can simply Google you and all sorts of stuff can pop up,

You state in your opening you maybe on the bubble for poor performance and provide an excuse (reason). That's a red flag to me. You like your job because it allows you freedom. I look at it as no personal accountability other than you loosing clients. You want a job but not a career. You are afraid to look elsewhere because you may not have the freedom you have now. I don't see any initiative on your part. I wouldn't hire someone who just wants to draw a paycheck and nothing else. You are not special.


I think you want you cake and eat too.


This maybe extreme but I know many who lost a job opportunity due to a background check. The sane goes for Facebook and LinkedIn.

Please be careful what you post.

You are too young to settle - cuz there is someone out there who has the drive, passion and ambition to take your job from you.

Perhaps I'm not explaining it well, but then the job situation is not my main question. How to compartmentalize is what I want to know.

Anyway, I have not lost any clients. My two biggest clients have had huge reorgs and are in a holding pattern until it all shakes out. This happened while I had large contract renewals pending with them. So they didn't renew the contracts, but still spend on an ad hoc basis because 1) we've always done a good job for them and 2) I have excellent relationships with them. My revenue problem would be non-existant if they had renewed and continued to use the services they had bought for the last few years. In fact, in March I was below goal by the exact dollar amount of those contracts that did not renew, meaning I'd have been at 100% of goal, had they renewed. It was a lot of money and they spend a lot outside of those contracts too. So it's hard to make that revenue up by mere increases with other existing clients, especially in a downward-trending industry.

I'm not afraid to look for another job. I'm doing it right now. And, as I've said more than once, I'm fine with dressing up and commuting, but not to make a lateral move. Of course, that wouldn't be a lateral move if I were to lose this job. But for the moment, I'm aiming high and only looking for something better, not lateral.

And it's not even because I'm that picky, but rather I've come to believe the best increase you can get in income is when changing jobs. You don't get a 40% raise from a current employer. But you can get that kind of bump by going to another one. That's what I'm looking for because I'm almost topped out where I am with no more upward mobility at the same company.

Rick, when you are done with this thread, delete it.

When I can't get perspective, I always look at what would be the WORST scenario, as a result of the present situation. Then I face that, and decide what could happen, and what I would do. SO really look at that. I mean the worst, the thing you fear, that you are not looking at now. That is what is eating you, and it is halfway there, in the back of your mind.

Having faced the worst, it is a lot easier to deal with the present. As far as your ethnicity goes, I would view that as a plus on a resume.

You seem like a kick ass guy. So why don't you stop trying to forget your problems and totally look into kicking some ass. Sooner or later, that is what it is going to take.

Not making a choice to do something is the same as choosing to do nothing. So eat a Snickers bar, and get out there !

I'm not Chinese. I'm as white as the day is long.

Worst case scenario is getting canned because of the stress it would put on my finances and, IMHO, it becomes harder to find a job when you don't have one already, especially if terminated for performance and still looking for a sales job.

But then, in a way, it'd be liberating. I'd be done with this job and all the baggage with it. There'd be no more work-related stress AT ALL, just financial and unemployment stress. I'd be forced to spend every waking moment looking for work (and working out). Not saying I want to get canned. I want to leave on my own terms and I want to right the ship either way.

Are you still in 'advertising' sales?

Something like that.

Rick, I can respect your need to compartmentalize but, IMO, you used the wrong example - your job. Most if not all responded about your job and what/how to get some distance from it.

I have been in the manufacturing world for 40 years. I have this philosophy "work hard, play hard". You have avenues guns, music to mention a few. You are well traveled - you are probably a very bright guy.

People younger than you don't worry about compartmentalizing. They are hungry, full of energy and fear nothing. unless you can prove you are worth more than that, you will fear for your job always.

Good luck with your job search. Just remember resumes are on the net too. This is a big brother world.

eeeh, they will never find you. that's what a shortened name is for. I wouldn't worry here.

"Rick Lee" - could be anyone.

rjp

Short novel sent.

It really is a balancing act.

You don't have kids, do you?

If not, what's there to worry about? You'll always be able to support yourself. Anyone who is of average intelligence, no criminal record, reasonably willing to live within his means, and is willing to show up on time every day can always support himself.

Your wife can get a job, too (if she doesn't have one already, I don't remember what that situation is).

It's when you have 2, 3, 4 etc. people who you have to support for a couple of decades, including providing them with the things they need to thrive (and which you owe them), that can be stressful. I'm a firm believer that if you bring kids into this world, there are certain things you owe them, and I'd die trying to give it to them. If I felt like I could not, that would eat me up.

But just you (or just me)? Pshaw. What's the worst that can happen? Pick up and move to Hawaii for a few years, live cheap and work in a hotel or bar on a beach somewhere. Billions and billions of people have survived on this earth, and you will too.

So, keep your head up, do whatcha gotta do, but don't worry about it so much.

I'm not worried about starving. And if I get this house refi'ed and can sell the one in VA before anything bad happens, I'll have about $900 a month more in my pocket. But it might be the end of the year before my house in VA will be above water. If I get canned, it's gonna be hard to refi the primary residence. Mrs. Lee has a good job. My other concern is having just turned 42 and having to start another job/career. I know people do it every day, but I don't want to regress in income, lifestyle, security, etc.

Why not just get the house refi'd now? There's no reason you should be paying more then 3.5%.

You can get a refi done, start to finish, in 15 days.

42 is still very young. People switch careers at that age all the time, often for the better.

Your wife having a good job, no children, those facts alone put you in a stronger financial position, by hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, than most 42 year old men in this country. You've got it made!

This is nuts, but we're literally days or weeks away from a few listings in the neighborhood closing, so as to bump the comps such that our house appraises for enough to drop the mortgage insurance. We're right on the line and I want to drop that $150/month charge in the refi.

I feel for you -you're a good guy and you care about what you do. You're also smart enough to know this already but I'll say it anyway (sometimes it helps to have someone else tell us what we already know for validation). You are far too loyal to your job and your employer. They don't care one bit about you. You are expendable chattel to them. Move on - even if it is lateral - and don't look back.

Not all prisons have bars and it sounds as though you've allowed your comfort zone (facilitated by current employer) to become one for you. You have (like me, when I lived in CA a few years ago) had a really good run and been able to do amazing things and enjoy really incredible freedom through your job. But eventually reality catches up - it's not the same world anymore. There's no more money out there and the empires that were built on buying and selling (and hawking) stuff people really don't absolutely need to survive are long gone. I'm lucky to be doing utilitarian structures these days. It's boring and a bit unfulfilling but that's what we've inherited from the baby boomers - a world that's going to be much more dictated by necessity than desire.

I hope it all works out well for you. I hate to hear about people being anxious, worried and stressed-out but in my own experiences by the time you start really worrying about your job, it's already too late. You're probably already fired so I wouldn't feel any remorse in up and leaving.

All the best. I hope you make the most of whatever new adventures get spawned as a result of this.

I wrote two different replies yesterday that after typing, didn't seem to address the issue as well as I thought it would. I've had similar thoughts after our company was acquired and I'm now working for a company with almost 1,500 employees instead of 20. A lot of my career upside is gone without changing companies. This coupled with some golden handcuffs that keep me here for another couple years, I realized I've gotten content.

It sounds like you are (were) content with your current position, which was likely due to the company structure. You were not allowed to prospect to grow business and there is a negative feedback loop for hitting 100%+ of your goal. Life was good for you as long as you were able to keep existing clients reordering. It didn't sound like it was challenging until this year. Now, you realize you don't have much control over your business, and the company makes it difficult to grow it. Now that contentment is slipping away and you realize you want more than this company offers you.

To answer the original question; I have been trying to cut back on my work hours. I used to work 65-70 hours per week and I'd love to get that to 50-55. I have found that most issues that arise after 5:00 can wait until morning, but I like to have a heads up and be ready for it. I turn off work from when I leave the office until the kids go to bed (9:00ish). That gives me an hour to see if anything needs attention in the morning and time to get a running start.

I...I ...don't know where to start. You've got your rose colored glasses on today.

I'm not sure it's entirely possible to compartmentalize.

My current job allows me to shut down more on the weekends than my last one (consulting), but I still find myself thinking of things at work when I'm doing other things. I have many a time thought of work at the track....on the track! (Much like your music story). I sometimes take that to mean that whatever I'm worrying about is the most pressing issue and/or whatever I'm doing is not taking my full mental capacity. I'd find that in music as well once I felt I had "mastered" the piece. I could do the motions and fill my mind with other things.

RL, you moved to AZ to concentrate on your "off time". Shooting guns off the back porch, riding motorcycles and such. I think you know you took a risk to move out there for this job. You mention this upheaval all the time. Since nothing (yet) is forcing the issue, you get to select your next play (and what is important versus not important) versus it being selected for you.

{que blues brothers voice}

The band... the band man... WE'RE PUTTING TOGETHER THE BAND!

I kid.... or am I?

Coming in late to this thread, but I definitely feel for you, been in similar situations and not found any totally satisfying solution after being an executive for 20+ years of my 35 year working life.

I have come to peace with the idea that the price tag for being an achiever is that your mind doesn't stop wrestling with problems that make it into the foreground of thinking, even when the problem has no solution or it just needs the passage of time to be resolved. Both for myself and for others I know who I consider to be "high potential, high acheivement/motivation" - without exception - the reason they are high achievers is that they have this character flaw of obsession to resolve.

Even individuals on the high end of the food chain who you swear are totally relaxed, have their life together, don't worry about a thing turn out to have an inner dialogue which is of the type that is giving you fits.

As I grew older I was able to mitigate the worst of my inability to compartmentalize by at least being able to postpone thinking about it or do some level of distraction when it was necessary to focus on other things (e.g. family matters), but I have spent an unfortunate amount of my time - usually in the middle of the night or similar - cycling over and over on problems.

The interesting thing is that while the cycling felt unproductive, there were a number of times where I was able to reorient my thinking and come to solutions which were positive and non-obvious and ended up working well. But the emotional price tag was very high....which is why I am leaning towards retirement in my mid-50's - just don't want to suffer the burn rate that the jobs I am qualified for require.

The other thing that helped me immensely is that I reached the point where I had enough retirement funds to say F*ck You to anyone. Rarely used that option, but considered it heavily over the last 5 years and it just made it easier to know that literally I didn't need the job, didn't need the money and - most importantly - didn't need a reference.

I guess overall my view is that the problem cycling is normal albeit emotionally costly for people with a brain, as my mom said when I was a kid and I swallowed a marble - this too shall pass.

D.

I had a good chat with the boss today and he gave me a list of things I need to do every day (and will be tracked on) to right the ship. I still don't think it's going to fix the inherent problem with our new business structure in general and my territory in particular. But that decision is above his pay grade. And even if/when it starts getting discussed at higher levels, it will be 2014 before the direction changes. I did get the green light to seriously go after new business. But again, it's too little, too late. New business pays off many months or years after getting them in the door, which can be a lot of work in itself.

Anyway, he said one of my problems is that I'm too customer service-focused and need to be more proactive and strategic, rather than reactive to customer issues. I agree. He said to turn the damn BB off for the few hours I plan to knock out my to-do list each day and not to get sidetracked. He said to make his own emails to me the last priority of the day. I think he senses I'm mixing too much work and personal life because he sees me entering stuff at odd hours and on weekends. Not that I'm a workaholic, but I do blur the boundaries.

Bottom line is still that I need to learn to compartmentalize, at least on the days and nights before I know work is going to be very rough the next day. I definitely don't have FU money, so I will hang onto this job for as long as I still can, while keeping my ear to the ground.

I telework one day a week (Tuesday). I use the office in my house to conduct this day's work. I treat it like any other day, get up work out dress and go work. Despite it being 80 degrees and 90% humidity, I am wearing a polo and jeans (home business casual) to remind me I'm working. I "leave for lunch" and go to the kitchen. At 5 or so, I will shut down and take the dogs for a walk.

As tempting as it is to screw around during the day, I try to minimize it and this is how I focus.

I telework one day a week (Tuesday). I use the office in my house to conduct this day's work. I treat it like any other day, get up work out dress and go work. Despite it being 80 degrees and 90% humidity, I am wearing a polo and jeans (home business casual) to remind me I'm working. I "leave for lunch" and go to the kitchen. At 5 or so, I will shut down and take the dogs for a walk.

As tempting as it is to screw around during the day, I try to minimize it and this is how I focus.

I don't get dressed up to work at home, but I never start a minute after 8am and am very disciplined about it. It's not even so much that actual work duties interfere with my personal time; it's that I worry about work issues when I shouldn't be thinking about work at all.

Thought I had it all figured out until early 2013 when the sequestration hit. Sure we had rumblings of bad times but we were a favorite of the customer and were assured things would work out. Despite putting it all on the line for 15+ years things didn't really work out.

I have 2 kids, a wife, and lots of obligations. The drawback to being a Federal contractor is there is no such thing as a severance package other than your own savings. Having the connections and good standing of my peers I landed a rather safe job but had to absorb a 35% pay cut. I am 50 and my kids are in High School...frankly not the most opportune time to face this sort of thing.

Nothing is for certain and if you live your life thinking that you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Life is not about money, travel, success, or standing. Sure they do contribute when the measure is correct, but ultimately our loved ones are what matter. I would sacrifice all my worldly possessions to protect my loved ones and I'm sure most here would do the same.

Rick, you need to move on professionally. You have admitted to some mistakes so use them to further yourself down the line.

Update

I don't know how it happened, but somehow, I have come to terms with the fact that I will be fired and, honestly, I'm in a better mood now than I ever have been at this job. It's sort of liberating. I don't think about it outside of work hours anymore (other than typing this post). I have no idea why, but it totally leaves my mind after about 5pm and I don't think about it again until 8am.

Last week I had a chat with my boss and he gave me a list of things I need to do every day that he will monitor. Yesterday, I was sitting in the barber shop (getting a haircut for interviews today) and I got an email from him with an attachment titled "notice of written counseling." This is pretty much the final warning document. Crazy thing is that everything my boss said last week that I have to do is now doubled in that document. It's unrealistic and undoable, and he totally blindsided me, which he never does. So I'm pretty sure his boss made him do it. We have a call scheduled tomorrow about it, but I'm not worried in the least. He has to know I'm expecting to be fired and looking elsewhere. And I already have my flight to DC booked for Monday and am having dinner with my boss and his boss Tues. night. Gonna be awkward, but somehow, I'm not worried at all.

Had a killer interview today for a near dream job for a German company. HR rep. was from my part of NJ and we had a ton in common. More to come.

It was time, Rick. Out with the old and in with the new! :) Kick butt and get that dream job!

Well, change is a-coming, ready or not, and it is highly likely that it will turn out well. Ideally you do want to have a job when you're looking for one, but I think you'll do fine either way.

I can't compartmentalize and do my job. If work is good, life in general is good. When work (and finances) go bad, everything is bad, Work is my life and everything else is fit in around it...because when it goes bad, it ruins all the other things. Without it, I cannot provide for my family or future. I am either working, commuting or thinking about work for 20 hrs a day (sleep 4) and have to do the same work when on vacation as when I am at work...just from a different location. I guess it is the price one pays for job security. When I retire, I will get a job where I can compartmentalize...maybe mow grass or WalMart greeter. Until then...I will just suck it up. I envy your job situation, but cannot imagine eing able to do it long term. Just too sweet a deal to last...although I am a pessimist. If you can pull it off, sounds great.

Fint, if you value job security and income predictability, then obviously sales is not for you. Actually, sales can be a pretty safe job, if you perform, since salespeople are usually the last to be laid off. But you never know what next month's commission check is going to be. If you can arrange your life to live on just your base salary in the lean months and then treat commissions responsibly, it can be a good gig. I refuse to live to work unless it's a serious hobby job.

Good luck RL.

I can relate to your comment about knowing it's coming. It also made me thing of this

This inspired me. Thanks Cloggie. Very much captured what I have been experiencing for the past 15 years or so. I appreciate you sharing this perspective.

JA

I watched both my father and stepfather tossed from 25+ year tenures in middle management when they were in their early 50's. They both struggled to re-invent themselves and it crushed them. I am now 45 and successful in my career in IT sales. However, when I look around, I don't see very much grey hair in my peers. Because of this, I force myself to live on about 25% of my take home and I invest the rest for my retirement. Maybe I am overly paranoid, but I want to have the F.U. money in my early 50s so I don't wind up stressed out about how I am going to make that monthly debt payment.

Good luck to you, Rick, in your next endeavor. Don't let the company force you into quitting in case you need the UI benefits.

I definitely would never quit before having another job lined up. Talk with boss today sounded pretty serious, but then I think I have a little bit longer than July to find another job. I still do not believe I can reverse this situation, but I may have bought some more time today.

Good luck!

It sounds like you're handling it well. I know you'll come out ok.

Buy yourself a little time.

Boss third quarter isn't going to be any better, but fourth quarter is really looking up and may actually turn this thing around. Bogus cause 1, bogus cause 2, bogus cause 3. November hits, well boss it didn't happen this year, but we can't focus on '13 anymore, that's over already gone, we need to nail down this start plan for '14. We are really going to kick it in '14.

I'll pray for some inner peace for you.

I hope you drink a little more scotch.

Good luck on the job search. I've been looking since February, every week is interesting.

I don't think I can or really need to buy more time than I already have.

I'm really not stressed out anymore. I can't explain why, but I try to take Notfarnow's approach when he was laid off with a pregant wife - make it into a positive life/career change. I hope to minimize the pain during the transition, especially since I also stress a lot of over money, even when I have some of it. But a big life/career change is pretty much imminent and I have to make the best of it.

Of the three times I was laid off or about to be fired:

1st) I was rehired within a month, but at the hourly rate of my previous salary and then put back on salary within three mos.

2nd) Found a better job in less than a week once I received written warning totally unrelated to original issue, which I had disproved.

3rd) Was going to give my two weeks notice for a better job and was laid off before I could open my mouth. So I got a two week paid vacation before next job started.

Otherwise, I have never been unemployed for more than a day.

So I've always landed on my feet.