I Have A Life Priorities Question For You
 

I have a question, an issue, and wanted to get the perspective of you all.

Let's suppose you are very happy where you live and with your lifestyle there, it is everything you want. Except that the money isn't what you want or had expected by now - it is pretty secure, but you consider it disappointing. The money is clearly not likely to get substantially better in the near term (1-3 years), in the longer term (4-6 years) it has the potential to maybe reach the low end of your original expectations, or maybe not.

Would you move for more money, if the opportunity arose? How much of a step down would you be willing to make, in terms of the new location and lifestyle? How much more money would you need - qualitatively or quantitatively? How about the risk of the new gig vs the relative stability of the current situation, how do you assess that?

I know the devil is in the details - just interested in people's priorities and thought processes.

I've lived in 12 states and 3 countries. All for work opportunities. Today, I make a very comfortable living and consider my moves an investment that paid off in a big way.

It's not for everyone, but I have found that for the most part, you can adapt and call anywhere home. There are a few exceptions however...

Pretty much my situation, but add in 15 years into a 30 year retirement plan with the state... which seriously limits where I can go for my next job

If you are after a real 'life priorities' answer than the answer is: What is the best for your family? You may want certain things - money, power, recognition etc - but what is best for your life, your wife, your kids . . . ? Answer carefully.

Ian

I'm probably not a good guy to ask this question. By no means do I consider my pay "disappointing" but in my line of work I face a small pay cut every year. True regardless of where I call home, but the situation is worse in the places where most desire to live.

I'm very happy where I live and I like my lifestyle. Although, the money at my place of employment is good, it has never been great. However, it's very secure and enjoyable. So, after 23 years in the same company (in the IT field no less), I'm not planning on changeing.

"Let's suppose you are very happy where you live and with your lifestyle there, it is everything you want."

If so, be careful what you wish for.
Jim

I just had a job offer to make almost double what I'm making now but its in a city i really dont want to live in, so i passed.. I would rather make less but be in a place i want to be in.

For me, money is only a means to an end. I actually didn't know what my raise was this year until my paycheck hit my account (didn't ask in my review). Right now I make enough but frankly don't feel that secure due to being on soft money. I also don't own a house and that ship has sailed so I need to factor that in. No moving until my son is done with high school (2 more years of stupid-high rent). At that point we'll evaluate where things are.

I'd actually take a pay cut for lower stress and more stability. I'd take a "lifestyle cut" but worth it psychologically I think. If you're happy with where you are and your family is happy, who cares what you make?

1. Money is not the only thing but there are few substitutes.
2. Location and lifestyle can be temporary.
3. How much more money would I need N/A.
4. This is the tough one no guarantees in life. As you said the devil is in the details. Family, your age, assets etc. I had a similar situation some 30yrs. It all worked out well thank God.

Best of luck

I guess that part of your answer will depend on your definition of success.

My wife and I chose location and lifestyle over increased income, although all three would have been nice.

This. It differs for everybody. I know people who don't make a lot of money at all but they are satisfied with their life. I know people who have everything but still want more.

Me personally, I have had money but wasn't in the place I wanted to be. It sucked. I have had no money but in the place I wanted and with the person I wanted to be with. It was awesome. I feel like money could make me feel better for a short time... A band aid of sorts, but nothing beats being with the person I want to be with, in the place I want to be. In that order of priority. Person, place, money. :) of course I want enough money to have a roof over my head and food on the table. The rest is gravy...

Another aspect to this is how old one is. Early on, it may make more sense to "make hay while the sun shines". My wife and I sort of did that with the military knowing that there was more money to be had elsewhere. We had enough to live on comfortably, traveled the world, and had a reasonable expectation of some security here in the last quarter of our lives. So far, so good, but it is beginning to get a little shaky.

My situation exactly.

John,

Your question reads a lot like "should I break up with my girlfriend". Well, if you have to ask, you already know the answer ...

Sounds like it is time to move on. Life is too short to accept mediocrity. You can make any place home if the "family unit" is intact and stands behind you.

Good Luck!

George

There are two kinds of people, those who live to work and those who work to live.
If you are a work to live sort - stay where you are and enjoy life.
If you are a live to work type - go to the better job.

Had the reverse situation years ago. Money, benefits and security were good, but weather and traffic (congestion) sucked in the City. Explored options of working in a rural area........

My concern was more than the pay. Benefits, schedule and contracted conditions were in the dark ages.........

Stayed where I was and built a cabin overlooking Lake Cle Elum to get away a few times per month......Bought 3 acres and built a retirement home 10 miles from the cabin and retired at age 52......Now, I'm real estate poor with 3 homes.......

Looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing, go where the money is and ADAPT.

Had the reverse situation years ago. Money, benefits and security were good, but weather and traffic (congestion) sucked in the City. Explored options of working in a rural area........

My concern was more than the pay. Benefits, schedule and contracted conditions were in the dark ages.........

Stayed where I was and built a cabin overlooking Lake Cle Elum to get away a few times per month......Bought 3 acres and built a retirement home 10 miles from the cabin and retired at age 52......Now, I'm real estate poor with 3 homes.......

Looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing, go where the money is and ADAPT.

I had an opportunity a few years ago, to accept a significant job/financial advancement if I were willing to move to Philadelphia. I had been in Philly a few times for work and was not terribly impressed, but I wanted to approach the option with an open mind. Meaning that perhaps it was just the area of Philly that I was in that was so disappointing. I reached out to (of all people...) the Pelican community to ask their opinion as many of this group have a fair idea of the things I enjoy as well as knowledge of that city. The overwhelming answer was DONT DO IT, and that answer was backed with solid reasoning. With their input, I verified the facts and discovered that I would only be happy with a huge commute, which in itself would make me miserable... So after weighing the evidence, I passed.

My work has given me many travel opportunities over the past ten years. I approach every new place as an opportunity to discover the uniqueness of the area and its sometimes hidden beauty. My first big traveling gig involved working in New Jersey. Many of my co-workers flat REFUSED to go to New Jersey. I was willing to give it a try. I found Camden to be an armpit, but all I had to do was fly in and out of there. My work was in upstate New Jersey. Spent every weekend hiking (Ramapo, Skyline, etc). I found delightful people, fabulous Greek diners nearly everywhere, and truly lovely open areas. Nothing that I had expected. I enjoyed it so much I volunteered for a second turn of work in the area. Conversely, I absolutely HATED working in Chicago. I've declined work in that area for eight consecutive years.

Work/life balance is always difficult. My suggestion is that if you are considering a move, that you, and the family, spend some time in the area. Explore, ride the bikes, get a feel for the local flavor. You could wind up falling in love with a new place. If you don't - by all means stay where you are. Perhaps the money is not all you dreamed it could be, but your lifestyle makes up for it. In my humble opinion, the lifestyle especially when a family is involved, takes precedence over the money.

angela

Lots of good advice given, but it all depends on the details of your life that you have not given (and there is no need to.) However, I get from your post that you have already established your life priority--it's money. Your post implies that your measure of satisfaction is an income level that you projected for yourself sometime in the past, and not meeting that projected goal is gnawing at you a bit. It seems that you have set a monetary standard for yourself that will define your "success" and it is independent of other criteria like location, lifestyle, and security. It sounds like you'll never be fulfilled until you can reach that projected income goal you had set for yourself. If that's the case, then you know the answer to your OP, but maybe it's time to rethink the importance of that original measure (income) and put it into context of the life you are now living. Just what do you think will improve for you by reaching you artificial income goal?

Your OP reads as if you have defined your self-worth by an income standard, not a quality of life standard. Your decision, your standard. Time to do some serious soul searching as to what you really want for yourself out of life.