No, your mother was involved in a human way. She didn't get lazy and let technology do her work.

Sorry, unless my son gave me a good reason to be invading his privacy I won't be doing it. To spy by default is throwing away some of your humanity imho. Your school and police are wrong, and I'm sure they'll be happy to burn some books while they're at it as well (I see a connection).

While kids don't have the rights of an adult, most of them have earned and deserve respect.

Yes, yes, and yes.

I am with Todd on this one. It is a serious invasion of privacy & it is just wrong.

Ian

Amen. Respect cannot be demanded, it is given and reciprocal. It is difficult for a child to respect a parent that doesn't respect them. The kids with the most overbearing and overprotective parents are normally the ones who got in the most trouble, and I was one of them. It's all a farce anyway, once they are teenagers you are no longer in control. As a blue-collar coworker of mine used to say, "they're yours until they turn 12, after that you find out how bad you effed up".

Has anyone mentioned a concern re: what these spyware companies are doing with the data that's being gathered? Is anyone naive enough to think your info will be private?

-e.

Mike,

Resist the urge, you are not that guy. Imagine if your son or daughter find out that you are essentially spying on them and they are in reality toeing the line.

You know the rest.

I ask my children questions, my rules are fair. They get an amount of leeway that would surprise a lot of people. If they lie to me I pillage their village.

Simple, really. Talk more, spy less.

^^^ This!
Be there for the good stuff, sporting events, band concerts, reward them for being on the right path, and talk about how deep the hole some kids fall into that they can never recover from. When they spend a night at a friends house, get the phone # and check in with the parents. If curfew is 11pm and they are home at 11:10 they get to wash all the cars in the morning. Well defined consequences. If you want to trust them they gotta know they can trust you.

Raised 3 daughters. All now are college grads, have good jobs, houses, and two have husbands. No bail posted yet. Fingers crossed.

kids have iphones now?

That says it all.
Which side of the bars are your kids on?

Do you want them to trust you, and feel comfortable asking for non-judgmental wisdom in difficult situations?
Or should they fear and avoid you?

Hmmmm. You all make a great point. I shall resist.

I just want to do right is all.