If you don't want me to fix it then why tell me?
 

Been married almost 30 years and I still don't get her sometimes. I think most of our fights stem from this. I'm in sales so I think I'm a really good listener and an excellent problem solver. She's tying my hands!

Q: Why do men die before women?

A: Because they want to.

My wife has a PHD and is generally whip smart... that said,

she puts toilet paper rolls on backwards and in the past has said she would use the other shower when I was asked if there any hot water left. Oh and she complained about her car and that it was making funny noises (5 days) when making left turns but never bothered to check the right front tire and notice that it was nearly flat. The steering was so bad when I drove it a few block to air up the tire I was baffled that she didn't mention it made right turns all by itself. Over the years things like this have happened and when I push her for an explanation she just says "it's your job to notice these things" She lacks a strong ability for common sense.

WTF?

It is easier to just say mmmmmmmmkay!?

lol

Move along, nothing new.

Most fight are about the little things. It is in my house. We know not to piss off each other with the big things. When you "get her" please pass along your knowledge to your Pelican brothers. You can really save us from dying first.

I never understood the "you should have noticedXXXX and done XXXX". Siht, if I would have notice it, I wouldn't have ask you about it. She will tie those hands to your legs soon. Mine are.

No doubt. Brilliant.

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Lol

Some day I will show her this

Some days it was much simpler when we threw stones and pulled their hair...like just yesterday...

I'm going to break that out at a strategic time.:D

women for the most part don't want you to fix it. They just want to "share" their problem with you. You really need to practice ... just say mmmmmmmmkay!?

Come on guys... It's simple. Women need to feel loved. Sex has little to do with any of it.

Words are nice but women watch what you do and when you do something they think is
thoughtful they say to themselves... "See he loves me"

Men on the other hand want sex to feel loved.

I hope "Tweezs" chimes in :D

My favorite: "I didn't know what it was, so I threw it out."

nsfw

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Re men and women.

The good news is: You don't have to fix everything!

If she is venting about a difficult day/relationship/experience, your obligation is to listen, empathize and cuddle.

If it is about something she considers not in her domain to take care of, just fix it. Hey, you're the guy. You fix things, not situations or feelings.

The bad news is: it took me over thirty years to figure this out.

Yep.:rolleyes:

Best
Les

We live parallel lives....
Because vehicles don't usually break all at once, they get accustomed to the new noise/vibration/steering pull etc. They forget what the vehicle is supposed to drive like.

There are times when I just need to have some warm up or cool down time before I can listen to problems that I am not expected to solve. But that is exactly what is required, for me to just listen.

Common sense isn't that common and you can't teach it.

Free tip.

Men are problem solvers. We have to be to hunt down big game.

Women are social thinkers. They were made to band together in groups and raise the children. This means they want to share socially. She doesn't want you to solve her problems. She is just sharing. She is perfectly capable of solving her own problems.

She doesn't want to. You would be better off not commenting, and just saying, That's tough. Thanks for sharing.''.

I kid you not. For many women, bragging about the problems they have to ''deal'' with is a sign of status.

Men = need to be loved

Women = need to feel wanted

They just want you to "be aware of" the issue and to a acknowledge she is dealing with it.

I think when we attempt to fix it, it also makes them feel like we think they can't handle it.

You could have. But you didn't.
Now you owe her.
Don't worry, it will be forgotten by the next argument. :D

What I'd like to hear: "Roll over"

What she says: "Dammit, you're snoring again, it smells like you ate a goat's ass, I haven't gotten to sleep yet and it's 3:00 am, I have to get up in three hours to watch the kids. The dog keeps farting and I can't roll over because the cat hasn't given me any room. Can you PLEASE roll over and let me sleep?"

Brevity - learn it.

lmfao!!! Love this !!!!

No need to go any further than the first post.

FYI:

She does NOT want you to solve the problem.

She only wants to complain about the problem - and for you to HEAR her complaining about the problem.

I realize this does not make sense. Which is probably why I am not married nor do I have a woman living with me - nor will I EVER have a woman living with me.

YMMV.... ;)

A man is walking along the beach and he trips on a magic lamp, he polishes it off and a genie comes out.
"I will grant you one wish" says the genie.
The man thinks for a while and he finally says, "You know, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I've been too scared to fly on a plane, and boats always make me seasick, so I want you to make a bridge to Hawaii."
The genie replies, "Are You Crazy!?!? That would be almost impossible, do you know how deep the ocean is, that would be such a long drive, it just isn't structurally possible. Make another wish"
The guys thinks again and then he says, "I've had plenty of relationships but I could never make them last more than a few months, I just don't understand women. I wish I could understand women."
Then genie looks at him dumbfounded and finally says, "Do you want that bridge two lane or four?"

Not my joke

I learned a long time ago that the womenz just want you to listen and empathize with them. You can usually get away with just saying "that's too bad" and "I understand what you are saying... What else could you do." These phrases will allow you to concentrate on either what is on tv or what you are reading nine times out of ten.

By all means DO NOT OFFER YOUR SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM... This angers them to no end.

once my wife started telling me all about things that were bothering her, I got up and start walking for the door. She says, where are you going?
I said home depot. If I'm gonna fix all that stuff I'm going to need some more tools and supplies :-)
No not really, but it woulda been cool if it did.


She's learned over the years to only mention things to me that she actually wants me to fix and save the rest of the emotional stuff for her mom and sister.

My advice to those who ask.

Just look her in the eye and ask her, "So, what do you think about that?"

Then shut up.

Exactly this. I get into trouble by trying to fix things she unloads onto me it's not funny.

Nor does she see the irony or the funny side of it all when her car wouldn't start and I gave her a hug instead of fixing it.

Mind you, it's fun when I'm mad at her to do all the lids on the jars really really tight.

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Dude, I think she wants you to buy a new one