Have you ever honestly failed in a 'life goal'? (long)

[mikester]

What I mean is, have you ever tried what you think was your hardest and just not been able to measure up to whatever goal it was.

For me, I've been working on an IT certification, in years past it was considered the 'holy grail' for IT tech guys. It's the Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert (CCIE) for Routing and Switching.

While in the past it was very valuable - today it would most likely not get me a huge jump in salary but it would open up options that I'm not sure I would get today. High salary options. A few reasons for this are that I'm already fairly high up on the food chain for my field without getting into management but I feel there is still room to grow. Adding this to my resume I think would really solidify it; then if I were to add another topic of experience (namely Voice) I would have the trifecta:

Security
Routing and Switching
Voice

These guys make bank.


So I really started on this path with this goal back in 2000 or so. Then I knew a guy who had done it. He now works very high up in Time Warner Cable's RoadRunner organization.

The cert is not 'easy' - it involves first passing a written qualification test. This test is not what I would consider 'hard' for someone at this level. The test is only hard because of crappy multiple choice questions. I had taking this test in 2007 to re-certify a lower level cert that I have held since 2000. After the qualification test there is a 'lab' test. This test has changed in the last 18 months a bit but when I started it involved an 8.5 hour configuration test. Basically they give you a booklet with a rack of routers and switches and say 'do that' and in that booklet is a myriad of things that they want done. If you got 80 points - you passed. They introduced an 'anti-cheating' mechanism in about april of 2009 called the 'Open ended Questions'. Cisco didn't give much direction on what these would actually be - just that they would require 'short answers'. Then in October they changed the test more dramatically, adding to the blueprint, retaining the OEQs and adjusting the config section to 5.5 hours and adding a 2hr 'troubleshooting section.' The OEQs required 75% to pass (must pass 3 of 4 questions), the troubleshooting required 80% to pass (8 - 12 trouble tickets) and the configuration requires 80% as well. If you do not pass one of these sections you fail the entire test. The test is $1400 a pop and only offered in two locations in the US - San Jose and RTP in North Carolina.

In about 2008 I really started working on this goal - prior to that I really hadn't worked on it. In 2008 though - I got serious. It is not an easy test. Work got in the way though and I postponed some training and allowed a qualification test to lapse. I fixed that in May of 2009 and started working towards a lab date in August. The OEQs destroyed me on that test - there are 4 questions in the OEQs and you had to get 3 right to pass - I missed 2. That meant in the first 15 minutes of this 8.5 hour lab - I knew I had failed. I didn't know the answer to two and was assuming I had failed. I went through the remainder of the test - felt good about the rest of it. Finished early even. Later that night I got my score report and my suspicions were confirmed. I had failed, I failed the OEQs. I passed the rest of the lab with an 84. This was the only chance I would get to take the 8.5 hour lab version of the test. The remainder of the lab dates were booked up until the change over to the new version in October.


It was painful.

I rescheduled for October.

I studied hard during the time in between but there was a lot about the new test that was simply unknown.

Ultimately I got to the test in October and failed again. I passed the OEQs but failed the Troubleshooting section - I ran out of time. As much as I was pissed about the first attempt - this one I felt more responsible for. I failed because I didn't know the material well enough. The lab part - again wasn't terrible but I honestly didn't even really try to finish because I knew definitively I had failed that time.

I took the rest of the year off, holidays with the family and all that. I have two small ones (4 at the time and just over a year - not they are 5.5 and almost 2). Plus there is the time this is taking away from my wife and my friends.

I spend Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights studying from at least 8:30 to 11:30pm. Friday - Sunday I try to spend with the family. Sometimes I study Sunday afternoons into the evening though.

I'm trying to work on my 3rd attempt now. Some changes have still occurred with the test - good ones - the OEQs are gone. Now it is just troubleshooting and Configuration.

At this point my wife is tired, I'm tired, I miss my friends and generally I just want to finish it so I can 'play' for a while.

I am hoping to try again in late August or early September.

I am working to pass, studying more intensely and with purpose.

I try not to doubt myself but at this point, it is hard not to have significant doubts.

I don't see giving up as an option but I may not have a choice if I don't pass this time. I'm not sure I can continue putting the family through this. I would be giving up on a life goal and that kind of bugs me.

What's that like? I don't really want to find out.

[tabs]

Maybe U need some professional guidance on how to take this particular test..Test taking is a lot about strategy.

I have achieved my life goal. It was not an external goal of material success or achievement (I have some of that to). But one where I have peace of mind, and basically self awareness and the corresponding why people do the things they do. I have worked very hard to gain that knowledge over a very long period of time. Now you might say I am the master of my craft.

[dewolf]

I used to work seven days a week, 8-14hrs a day. Even Christmas day!!. I have come to the conclusion that life and living it happily and stress free is the secret. I make half what I used but I am completely happy. The old adage, "work to live, not live to work" is the one that every person who has a wife and kids should try and live to. Life is to short.

[911Rob]

Far more important to be happy than right Mike. What's your gut telling you, follow your gut feeling. At 50 yo I've got tons of the so-called failures, I don't see them that way, but I'm not shy to reset my goals in a different direction either.

I've always maintained that the best thing we could teach our children is how to fail.
The biggest successes are always the biggest failures.
Perhaps a new and more exciting direction would serve you better?
Old and exhausted goals don't hold the same energy, that's what you're prolly feeling.

My two cents and those are CDN

[Geronimo '74]

Originally Posted by mikester

What I mean is, have you ever tried what you think was your hardest and just not been able to measure up to whatever goal it was.

Almost all the time dude.
The rest of the times I don't even try that hard.
I'm not too worried, stress rarely affects me.

[epbrown]

Originally Posted by mikester

I don't see giving up as an option but I may not have a choice if I don't pass this time. I'm not sure I can continue putting the family through this. I would be giving up on a life goal and that kind of bugs me.

What's that like? I don't really want to find out.

It seems to me you'll pass this if you keep pushing, but your priorities have changed. It also looks like the idea behind achieving this is more money for your family and - unless things are seriously dysfunctional - they'd likely rather have more time with you than money anyway.

Until the girls are teenagers, at least.

The former head of my dept was in a similar situation. He was a strong candidate for CEO, but the track you take pretty much precludes seeing your family - lots of 12-14 hour days, lots of time spent out of the country. Rumor has it his wife finally gave him an ultimatum after a 14-month project out of the country - the family or the job. He quit and is CEO of a smaller company, and seems pretty happy for a guy not making the $15m/year our CEO gets.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by tabs

Maybe U need some professional guidance on how to take this particular test..Test taking is a lot about strategy.

I have achieved my life goal. It was not an external goal of material success or achievement (I have some of that to). But one where I have peace of mind, and basically self awareness and the corresponding why people do the things they do. I have worked very hard to gain that knowledge over a very long period of time. Now you might say I am the master of my craft.

A wise suggestion that I have done multiple times. There are a few vendors who provide training for this test and I have given most of them some money. It has been worth it - of course some are better than others...

I do feel like I'm in a decent place right now but the last failure back in October really demoralized me much more than I anticipated. The failure rate for the test is very high. In fact after they made the changes they did in October - nobody passed for 4 months. Nobody - they went from a few passes a week to zero for 4 months. It was a big change.

The money I am after is primarily more for retirement than anything else. We have enough to get by, could use a little more cushion and a little more vacation but mostly - preparing for retirement, college and future expenses.

[KFC911]

Hi Mike! Take all of this from an OF's (a techie, old fart @ 50 ) perspective and is strictly my .000002 cents worth. I'm retired now (sort of by choice as my dept. was outsourced in the fall of '08, and I became officially unemployed last summer, as there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I would have gone with the outsource provider they chose - my choice). I attained my degree in computer science almost 30 years ago, and had a good career as a mainframe, communication system's programmer/networking techie, but had ZERO interest whatsoever at nibbling at the "management carrot" that was dangled early in my career (yep, no question, the BIGGER $ are down that path/project management, etc.), but I have NO regrets. The last years (as the mainframes were phased out), I moved into the networking group. I never did the configs (no desire to), but my technical abilities, troubleshooting skills, etc. gave me the opportunity to be broadbased and I have experience with Cisco routers/switches (debugged & solved many ARP/RIP/OSPF/etc. issues), Cisco Call Manager (large, extremely successful VOIP conversion), Checkpoint Firewalls (security group), and website "distributors" in a large, complex, corporate environment, and lot's more (DNS, etc). I wouldn't go back and change a thing, and never once considered getting any of the Cisco certs, etc. - didn't need 'em. Much like my CS degree, imo the certs are only a piece of paper, and your skillset will dictate how far you will go up the ladder as a techie (I was maxed out the last 10 years), and I actually raised the bar a good bit (salary wise) for other's in the networking group when I joined them. Some people have a knack for taking tests (I do/did), but imo, that skillset is just that, taking tests (reading speed & comprehension, logical deduction), and doesn't really mean squat in the "real world" of systems/networking. If you've got the skillset, you WILL get where you desire to be, so don't get too hung up on the certs - heck, some of the best techies I worked with over the years didn't even have degrees - you've either "got it" or ya don't, and if you do, the rewards will come. Hang in there man, and don't get discouraged if you choose not to pursue them...it's not the end of the world, and life's too short to sweat it. I do miss the techie aspect, but NOT the corporate BS at all . Family should ALWAYS come first. Don't LET yourself get burned out (I sense that in your post), good luck, and be well!!!

[VaSteve]

Mikester, I would say don't give up. It took me a bunch to tries to get through the CPA exam. I know lots of people that have given up on it. For me, I would have felt the failure more for giving up than anything. As Keith says though, real world experience is also super important. I have a guy that works for me that has a CPA license, but he lost a lot of skills over the years. It's all a balance.

Keith, I'd be interested in your perspective on dodging the management carrot. I'm on that path now, but I'm curious to know what it's like to just be a worker...some folks are so much happier that way....

[Aurel]

By some standards, I have succeeded beyond my dreams already; PhD at 25, second homeowner, married with a beautiful daughter, research faculty position in a renowed university...for a long time I felt very comfortable with what I had achieved, and somehow cruised along with out challenging myself anymore...Then I saw colleagues my own age work all the time and get promoted, make $150-200k/yr and get a job for life. WTF?? I did not even realize one could make that much money in a faculty job. Did not also realize that even though the rules say we cannot get tenured from a research position, some make it happen anyways.

What I have honestly tried to do is win prestigious academic grants, and my rate of success at that has been very low. Being a professor who spends his time writing grants and managing students is not for me. I like to do the work myself, and I like to collaborate with professionals in industry.

Bottom line is, I am now forty years old and feel that I have only been moderately successful.
I feel like for the coming years, I have to downshift and push my engine a bit, because I am not on top of the world anymore. I want to do something meaningful, like develop low-cost efficient photovoltaic technology, spin out a company and make it succeed. I have a lot more to achieve.

[masraum]

Mike, good luck on your next attempt. I'm confident that you can pass. The IE is a tough test. The problem is that you never know what to expect. The range of technology that they can throw at you is diverse. If you were given 3 or 4 different tests, you may pass 1 or 2 with flying colors and fail the others. It's about your level of prep, but also about the test that you get.

There are folks that have had to take the test 5 times or more to get their number. Keep at it.

[KaptKaos]

Need more Bourbon. Shake well. Repeat.

See you next week. =)

[LeeH]

I flunked out of the Navy's Nuclear Power School. Once I was out of the school I found some relief when I discovered a large group of very intelligent guys who had done the same. Not long after that, 60 Minutes did a story on how the Navy was using the lure of Nuke school to get college level folks in the Navy. The program attrition rate at the time was around 85%.

While frustrating to fail, I learned that I was capable of putting forth a level of effort that was beyond anything I'd done before. When I got out of the Navy, I went to college, which was very easy by comparison.

After rereading your post, I wonder if achieving this certification should even fall under the category of "life goal." Shouldn't life goals be things like be a good parent, a good citizen, take care of your family, etc? Yes, this certification would increase your lifetime earnings... and in our society, where we value money and stuff it's not surprising that such a thing SEEMS important. I bet if your really thought about it, most of your truly important goals in life have already been met.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by masraum

There are folks that have had to take the test 5 times or more to get their number. Keep at it.

My expectations are higher than average I think. Generally speaking the average number of attempts is 3 to pass. So I'm on target there - the first time pass rate is extremely low and the second time pass rate - believe it or not is said to be even lower.

I know guys who have taken 5 and 7 times to pass. In fact one of the instructors who teaches strateegery for the test required 5 attempts to pass (and that was the older version of the test which is considered to have been easier).

With the studying I have been doing between now and when I failed - I know now what I needed to know then. I likely would have passed. Hopefully - when I hit it hard in a couple of months - I'll KO it.

[Zeke]

It sucks when a test for a specific cert (or license, in my case) changes before you can take it. When you say no one passed for 4 months, I think you gave yourself an out right there. If you don't pass the thing on the next try, put it out of your mind and move on.

There are many more ways to succeed and fail.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by mikester

While in the past it was very valuable...

Do you want to keep chasing the past?

I know you said it would open doors, but there are a lot of things that can do that. To me certs and degrees are a means to an end, but often there are multiple ways around that, especially wrt certs.

[MRM]

Of course. Man is destined to fail. If you considered all the men in history who achieved all their major life goals, it would be a short list. It would probably include Alexander the Great, and I can't think of many else. If you have goals that ae worth reaching, some of them are going to exceed your grasp. That doesn't mean you've failed, and if you let the things you don't accomplish overshadow what you did accomplish, you will eat yourself alive.

Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a Heaven for?
~ Robert Browning

[m21sniper]

Not even Alexander the great accomplished all of his goals.

We are set up to fail at birth....we all die.

[DavidI]

Mike, if this test is as important to you as you write, you need to do anything in your power to prepare yourself and pass the test. It that means temporarily focusing on the test, do it! It may be something you regret for the rest of your life.

On the other hand, if the test is not as important, refocus on what really matters to you.

[Crowbob]

Ron Howard would be a candidate for a contemporary who has reached and exceeded his goals. However, on a deeper non-professional level, no one but Opie himself knows for sure.