My drunken know it all neighbor just fell face first into my ditch.
 

As soon as I fire up the backhoe, over comes Paul, my loud mouth know it all neighbor with a beer in his hand, and judging from his walk, and talk, this is not his first for the day.
Now, I already have this all planned out, and am well under way. I am trying to find a broken drain pipe which I knew was white PVC plastic , and I have been snaking, measuring, and hand digging every evening this week. I figure that I am within 10 feet of where the pipe has collapsed. I had already pulled up fragments of it, so I knew I was close.
Right away, he wants to quarterback the whole operation. I don't mind advice from guys who know what they are talking about, but this , he is not. He starts arguing with me that there is no plastic pipe in the ground, they did not use plastic back then and that we are looking for terra cotta, blah, blah, blah, ... Nothing worse than trying to reason with a drunk.
I have been snaking out these pipes for the last 13 years. I am 100 % sure I am right, and I am looking for white PVC.
I have a pretty big hole opened up by now, and it has filled with water . He sees a piece of broken terra cotta in the mud, and is reaching down to show me, and is now yelling at me in that annoying drunken stammer , that I am in the wrong place.
He bends over and reaches down to try to show me what he is talking about, and in that slow motion clumsiness that only a drunk can pull off, he looses his balance, and goes head first into the drink.
Made my night. Luckily this sent him home for the night to clean up , but not before I noticed that his dog just ate my kids soccer ball.
Have a good night fella's

life in the burbs...don't get much better...

You should have backfilled the ditch while he was still in it;)

At least some neighbors are good for comic relief. :D

Reminds of me of our drunken neighbor growing up. (My parents have about 50 acres, with 5 of it that we mow)....he'd get thoroughly tanked and ride his tractor over and start mowing. Usually would crash into some of the giant maple trees.

Karma is a beautiful thing. Did he spill his beer and then struggle to get out? You must have been laughing your arse off. Thanks for the chuckle.

Funny stuff Fred....Thax for the laugh....

You need a go pro on your backhoe. That would have been a sight!

'Round here, the numbnuts woulda then sued you for something-or-another.

Funny stuff, Fred. Thanks.

Leave a gift of broken PVC on his doorstep. Signed "Love, Tara Cotta"

Hahaha, too funny! :D

Funny until he sues you.

My first thought as well

This is what I was thinking.

I have a drunk neighbor too - she sounds like Fran Dresser when she laughs...well sorta more like a cackle....

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Now that is justice for you. G.

That's funny stuff Fred. The dog and soccer ball made it sound sorta like a C.W. McCall song. Thanks for the story. :)

the boys in tight jeans would have lawyer up around here.