+1

A large percentage of people who go into the education field do so because they lack the common sense to survive in the real world.
Plus it's the highest paying part-time job around.

BTW news stations live for this kind of crap and school admins tend to back down when their stupidity is on display for all the world to see.

I read your OP twice, just to be sure I got it right. I suspect the principal was operating on information supplied by the teacher and I also suspect the teacher, somehow, implicated your son is a way other than what you have stated. If your son was only lectured in the office and "threatened" with a suspension that didn't happen, that's one thing, but he also got a paper clean-up duty which is something he did not deserve. If what you have posted is the truth, I think it's fair to pursue the issue, just a bit, to clear things up in your own mind. In no way should someone who correctly disposes of trash be held accountable for something done with that trash, by others.

The first action, IMO, would be to have a simple, cordial talk with the teacher. Ask her exactly what happened that caused her to refer your son to the principal. If it is as you posted, you can ask, politely, why simply throwing away a broken pencil makes him any part of what happened next. Whatever her reply, leave it there. You're done, but you at least know who initiated the situation, and it was not the principal. However, be prepared for a different version of events, and accept it as well.

If it turns out the teacher referred your son only because the principal asked how the vandals got the pencil, then you know the principal overreacted by including your son in a punishment. It now becomes a legitimate question for the principal as to why disposing of trash, correctly, should lead to a punishment. You need to decide if it's worth it to broach that with the principal but if you feel it's unjust, it should be made clear, IMO.

a note // memo in his file...
oh how times have changed...
Mom still talks about Dad pulling his spoon and telling the priest...
if your sure & in a hurry...
I'm the one..
&...then went drinking with his Polizei buds..


Rika

Make sure your kid is not hanging out with the wrong kids or in the wrong classroom .

I was separated from some of the troublemakers at an early age. Most of those kids are now dead, or have been in jail much of their lives.

The people you spend time with give you your life. BTW, If I understood that my son was only guilty of throwing away a broken pencil, I would speak up and say so. Pencils are interesting to young boys, and it is interesting to find out what is in them, and how they are made. Objects and interest are not always bad. It is what you do with the object that defines proper behavior.

Boys that age are not really meant to be sitting still in a classroom. They are built to explore and mess with physical objects.

Sit down and talk calmly with the principal. Express your concerns. Build a relationship with her.

Egg the principal's house!

Sheeze... am I the only voice of reason here?

For 3rd grade suspension? Um, no.

For the OP, let your son know that sometimes life is unfair and that you support him and want him to succeed. It isn't worth fighting the teacher or the principal on this - or at least the principal. Maybe let the teacher know that you appreciate the challenge of teaching in the classroom, that you think your son was largely a bystander who got associated with the event, and to have them let you know if there are any other problems with him in the classroom.

Your kid's teacher can be an ally or an enemy, same with the principal. Of those two though, the teacher has the day to day contact so it is important to keep communication open and ideally non-confrontational. The principal is an administrator, and only worth engaging if things really escalate. imho this event is a non-event, but rather should just put you on notice that you may need to keep closer track of what is going on at school.

my parents and school officials teamed up against me. i deserved it usually. i get it.

but Look's situation would have tested my sensibilities. once the son tossed the pencil into the garbage, it was not his responsibility anymore.

he is just as guilty as the janitor who didnt empty the garbage can in a timely fashion. :D fire his ass!

You're telling me that the wastefulness of a single pencil is more important than all the other things they have to do? Sounds to me like they have too much time on their hands.

Next time, if there ever is a next time, ask to talk to the Principal alone, without your son being in the room to find out what the problem is about. This way you can get their story and talk about it with them without usurping their authority in the students presence. As my wife said when told of your story, you as a parent always have a choice when it comes to dealing with these types of things. We need to get the full story in order to really understand why the teacher would implicate your son for throwing a pencil in the trash.

IMO, this is a small instance of a seriously big issue.

You should have ripped her a new one, agreed, not in front of the little guy. Of course she was arrogant, she's a principal, they are confident they're word is stone. I recall rebutting my Middle School principal with an intelligent comeback and I got detention for speaking out of turn and being disrespectful. Broad couldn't handle a little of her own medicine from a 6th grader. The more people she speaks to that don't say something back the worse her treatment of parents/coworkers will get, especially in relation to off-base and frankly ridiculous accusations.

With a 10 month old at home, I look forward to future situations of the like.

I would set a formal appointment with her, go in, reiterate the situation, use other life examples with the same reasoning premise to make her/their inside out and backward reasoning obvious.

My parents we're always divided like this. Dad always told me to "not say anything" or "don't make waves" and my mom was/is a proverbial pit-bull when it came to dealing with situations directly. I've learned that the best stance in life is a delicate balance of the two while choosing the correct battles...

FWIW...I think the "wastefulness" thing is absolute hilarity on so many different levels.

It's also a possibility the kid fibbed a little but wasn't the front man...
Either way, talk to him, let him get his feelings out, and feel secure about himself.

"Son, kids often do stupid little things and make mistakes when growing up, and you will too. Everyone has done it. Adults are doing it now but at at a much bigger level. You see the world has built up into a complex bureaucracy and even grown ups over-react because their jobs sometimes depend on the smallest details. Or they are just small and petty people by nature. Don't let their bad behavior get to you. This too shall pass, and you'll be in a different classroom next year with new people. Learn how to identify and deal with these small people and not act like them. School is a place to learn how to learn, to try new things, to explore new concepts and find out where you want to go later on in life. The most important job is for you is to become a better, stronger person and know the difference between right and wrong."

As a parent of a 17 year old who was often "in trouble", I can say that the situation described is likely not a big issue unless the parent wants to turn it into one.

If you are looking forward to arguing with teachers and principals, you may want to find something else to occupy your time and energy. If one goes in looking for a fight, they'll find one, and the kid will end up getting the short end of the stick. The school is a partner in your kid's education. There are good people and bad people. You want to save the large ammo for the rare serious situations. If you go in loaded for bear on the little stuff that really doesn't matter, you're making it harder for you to work with them (or against them) at a later date.

My mom taught public school for 35+ years. I've taught, and my son is now a senior in HS (all public school). I've seen it from all sides. There are things to get upset about, and things to just slough off. Getting pissed about the small stuff just turns you into "one of those parents" and your kid suffers by association.

In taking almost my entire response out of context, you make a good point, but read the last blurb, about choosing battles.

I am not one to purposefully argue, point was, if I don't agree with something I won't let it slide. As all of those little somethings pile up they become a new way of thinking and are then adopted into acceptable actions. Like, say, a kid getting in trouble for throwing out a pencil.

I absolutely agree that the school is a partner in a child's education and find it to be truly despicable that teachers would cause a child to suffer through association of their parent's actions. Whether or not those actions are positive or negative. Most interesting is that you're a teacher and chose to close your argument with that...

Nostatic has condensed it well.

At least that's been my experience thus far.

I suspect teachers/admin get a little too used to not being questioned because they spend their time interacting with children and fail to adjust their thinking when interacting with adults. It's to your own kid's disadvantage to try to correct this. If there was a time to question the issue it was in person as the principal was belching her nonsense.

Relevant experience:
10yr old boy, 5yr old girl, teacher wife, LOTS of experience getting in small trouble in school

I'm not in the classroom any more. I'm relaying what I've seen over the decades though. It isn't just teachers - for pretty much any profession that has more than a single interaction, the treatment you (or your kid) receives will typically depend on how you behave. That isn't to say that you just "shut up and take it." Rather, you need to pick your battles because the reality is that you're one of 30+ parents that teacher has to deal with, and with all the BS they have to navigate, invariably you want to have positive associations in their mind, not confrontational. That's just the way humans work.

I know, my mom...being the pitbull...I received a label.:rolleyes:

YOu guys are correct. I am going to drop it. It isn't worth my time and nothing positive will come out of it. Nothing will change. Paper pick-up will burn inside of him, to make him realized that life isn't fair sometimes. This way, he knows to stay away from trouble. My wife's a volunteer in that class room once every two weeks. I am sure she will talk to his teacher about it. I really hope she will bring up the subject of wastefulness with her, but I know she wouldn't. What burned a hold in my ass was the principle's attitude toward myself and my kid. The mentioning of this waste of a good pencil was thrown at us several times. I suppose they think he broke the pencil on purpose. Kid or anyone breaks a pencil, big deal? Its a hard pill to swallow when others tell me what to do my water, what car to drive, and what to do with my trash. Hey, that life in the big city.

Just to clarify. He was sitting in front of his teacher when the other boys were in the back screwing around when they were caught.