"R" Rated Movie and Kids

[gshase]

My lovely wife loves Movies and a Dinner. I let her pick the movies and most of the time I can get a good 45 minute nap. The last 2 movies Gone Girl and last nights Nightcrawler were some of the best movies lately. So last night we went to Movie Tavern and during the Preview two ladies and 4 kids ages from 4-7 came in and sat behind us.The movie was rated "R" and and the trailers were loaded with the F word at least 20 times. My wife did ask the server and she said she would get the Manager. The movie starts and something bumps into my chair several times and the smallest boy is running around the theater, Mom yells at them and Things quiet down till the last 20 minutes and then all 4 kids start the Kentucky Derby and we had finish line seats. I turn on the server call button and no one ever shows up. The movie ends and I ask to see the Manager. He states he is sorry that he forgot to check on the kids and wanted to know what he could do to make us happy. He comped us 2 movie tickets but I was still PISSED. My question is how do I vote for Mother Of the Year. I was pissed not for the kids behavior but how does a MOTHER allow her young kids to see a movie that is well beyond the level of adult content like Nightcrawler?

[stomachmonkey]

[Gogar]

I don't know why you are focused on the movie.

Seems to me the story is about a mother who refused to keep her kids under control in a public, social setting. It's infuriating, but a story as old as time.

The movie is sort of an innocent bystander.

[DonDavis]

I lived in a small town in Texas when "Saving Private Ryan" was released. We went to see it on a weeknight and the theater was nearly empty. We sat in the middle, about 2/3 back. About 5 or so rows ahead was a guy in his 60s with a small 4-6 year old boy. I knew the movie was going to violent and figured maybe the guy doesn't realize what's coming. I told my then-wife "Well, I reckon when it starts, he'll get the kid and leave." The kid was running back and forth his row and just being a kid.

Movie starts and the opening 20 minutes are certainly rough. But I was distracted by the fact the kid had stopped running around and was standing next to the guy, just frozen, watching. Later, when the shooting stopped and dialog began, the kid started playing again. Shooting starts, kid stops and watches. This continues through the whole movie.

It was disturbing to say the least.

[vash]

Love that TV commercial where the couple pretends to start having sex in the theater so the mom leaves taking her kids with her. When they leave the gf climbs off the guy.

Not an option?

[stomachmonkey]

I agree Private Ryan was inappropriate for someone so young but remember at that age they are more visually stimulated and don't grasp the dialog so not surprised at what held his attention.

[bivenator]

I only take my kids to R movies. This ensures there will be plenty of adults to keep an eye on them while I am texting.

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

...but remember at that age they are more visually stimulated and don't grasp the dialog so not surprised at what held his attention.

Uh...that's precisely my point.
We all know the kid understands the pain and extreme emotion but cannot properly process and categorize what they've seen. It can really screw with them.

I used to hang with a guy that had a son one year older than mine. This was when my son was born and the 2 boys played together a lot. I started noticing Bob would allow his son to watch whatever he was watching at all times. His son was up way too late and watching R movies several times a week. I mentioned it and he said "Meh, if I'm watching, he can."

Then I starting noticing the kid was kind of being mean to my son. This went on for awhile. It was about the time mine was 3, his was 4 and it had gotten worse. I took Bob for a drive and told him I fear for my son's safety around his kid. His exact words were "You're probably right. Should probably keep an eye on them." I asked what if he intended to do anything other than just let it happen. He said "Nope."

I really dialed back on seeing him and my ex got them as friends after the divorce. She never let the kids play unattended and she agreed the kid was trouble.

Now the kid is 16, struggles emotionally has bounced from school to school because the "teachers aren't fair to him". Recently, he was taken by the state for a night because he was found with his loaded .22 under his chin. Bob thinks the state is way out of line and blowing the whole thing out of proportion and says his son was just "screwing around".

[widgeon13]

He'll be the first one to criticize everyone else when the kids PULLS THE TRIGGER!

[tedg04]

Originally Posted by DonDavis

Uh...that's precisely my point.
We all know the kid understands the pain and extreme emotion but cannot properly process and categorize what they've seen. It can really screw with them.

I used to hang with a guy that had a son one year older than mine. This was when my son was born and the 2 boys played together a lot. I started noticing Bob would allow his son to watch whatever he was watching at all times. His son was up way too late and watching R movies several times a week. I mentioned it and he said "Meh, if I'm watching, he can."

Then I starting noticing the kid was kind of being mean to my son. This went on for awhile. It was about the time mine was 3, his was 4 and it had gotten worse. I took Bob for a drive and told him I fear for my son's safety around his kid. His exact words were "You're probably right. Should probably keep an eye on them." I asked what if he intended to do anything other than just let it happen. He said "Nope."

I really dialed back on seeing him and my ex got them as friends after the divorce. She never let the kids play unattended and she agreed the kid was trouble.

Now the kid is 16, struggles emotionally has bounced from school to school because the "teachers aren't fair to him". Recently, he was taken by the state for a night because he was found with his loaded .22 under his chin. Bob thinks the state is way out of line and blowing the whole thing out of proportion and says his son was just "screwing around".

Your story appears to have a lot more to do with absentee parenting than R rated movies, IMO.

Maybe I'm jaded, my parents treated me as an adult from a young age (including R rated movies), but actually talked to me about them. IE - Saving Private Ryan is a war movie full of violence to illustrate the dark side of war. It isn't everyday life, and violence like that is supposed to be un-nerving.

[stealthn]

What's a movie tavern sounds like fun, plus they let toddlers drink?

[aigel]

I am sure those kids will do very well the next day in school, after they go to bed at 11 pm ...

G

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by tedg04

Your story appears to have a lot more to do with absentee parenting than R rated movies, IMO.

Maybe I'm jaded, my parents treated me as an adult from a young age (including R rated movies), but actually talked to me about them. IE - Saving Private Ryan is a war movie full of violence to illustrate the dark side of war. It isn't everyday life, and violence like that is supposed to be un-nerving.

I understand your point. And I know plenty of adults that watched plenty of "adult" natured movies as kids. They mostly say they wouldn't let their own kids watch what they did as kids. And I still don't think a 0-10 year old child should watch Saving Private Ryan, or Saw, or Nightmare on Elm Street.

Just because a guy survives a 5 story fall doesn't mean everyone would.

Here's the convo with a 4 year old during Saving Private... "See Johhny, that's what happens when a bullet hits someone in the head. But that's just make-believe, ok?"

Ugh, that scenario turns my stomach. But since it was discussed, that makes it ok?

I know I'm exaggerating the point, but that's no different than saying "Well, I did and turned out ok".

[flipper35]

There is a difference between real violence and horror violence like Saw. That said, there is no way I would let our 5 year old or 12 year old see any of those movies. But they would get to see Saving Private Ryan before the horror shows once they are old enough.

I would leave off the make believe part in the discussion because that is what happens with bullets.

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by flipper35

I would leave off the make believe part in the discussion because that is what happens with bullets.

I was being facetious. But I agree with you re the differences in the violence.

Another point, R rated movies for nudity are less of a concern to me than violent flicks.
I'd rather have to explain nudity than gratuitous violence.