Ever make up a joke?
 

I think I'm a pretty funny guy, but usually funny comments, not in a "joke" kind of way but I actually thought up a pretty funny joke the other day driving home from Santa Cruz to Sacramento.

What did the porn actor say to the director?

"Dixon"

Sort of have to be from around Sacramento area to get it...look up the route if you're interested.

Any people out there come up with their own jokes...I mean for real?

Don't give up your day job. :)

^^^^ Funniest post in this thread :D

Once, but a guy I know stole the credit for it.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1418058075.jpg

Usually just one liners.....and almost all bad, the kind more likely to get a groan than a laugh.

At work the other day we experienced some slow network communication and communication errors and someone suggested maybe the network switch was getting clogged up with bits. My response was that if that was the case we should just call "Router Rooter".

I once made up a joke about a crack squad of lesbian commandos.

Also, same bunch of women maybe, but why don't they have women stunt pilots. because they have a **** up when flying upside down.

I just can't make jokes up... Shamefully I've been caught stealing other peoples. :(

Although I do think I have a good sense of humor it's not traditional one because the darkest things make me laugh.

As an example... I once saw a dead body being fished out of a river. When they put the body on the stretcher the arms were sticking straight up. (because of rigor mortis)
I really can't explain it but I found that terribly funny. :confused:

That's right up there with the old "Sofa King" and "Dixon Cider" jokes....;)

I didn't make this up, but I believe a friend of mine did.

What did Boutros Boutros Garni (united nations man) NOT want for Christmas?

Another Boutros.




Not really funny, but so stupid it's funny.







.

I did once, but then I forgot it.

I used to write jokes for a few years in the mid 90s for a syndicated radio jock (The Greaseman). Wasn't going to quit my day job, but it was fun and frustrating at the same time. Some days, I could not type material fast enough, but others, I would sit a a blank screen trying to come up with anything. While it was nice to be paid, it was more of a thrill to hear my stuff on the radio.

The other day I ...... oh wait that wasn't me.
Steven Wright

My daughter posted a picture of herself all bundled up while helping us lay pipe into a trench for our new horse barn....she said it was too cold to be doing this. I responded that she needed to wear her "trench" coat !

I don't make up jokes, I respond in a humerous and slightly sarcastic manner before most people can digest what was said.

Why do rednecks always tear the sleeves off their shirts?


They heard they have the right to bare arms...


Yuk, yuk I can find the door myself!

not so much a joke, but an industry saying that as I hear it lives on to this day. while working carpentry if a piece of work was not your best example ever you might ask a colleague what they thought looking for a bit of support. there was the "cant see it from my house", "nothing caulking wont fix", "close enough for government work" cheers. one day a very skilled co-worker, also a very good friend asked me what the thought of some Dutchman he'd placed to fill a gap or the like. I looked up at it, stared hard, removed my hat scratching my head with the brim and say "that'll hide like ann frank"... I hear there's a Spanish translation that cites a famous stowaway from their culture...

there's also the Fuch the painter one...

What happens if you pass the urine test while applying for the army?

(ready? Wait for it!)

YOU'RE-IN!http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat.gif

My GF is a bit religious but I still said it.


I said I feel sorry for Jesus Christ. Did you know he was born on Christmas day?

All the other kids at his school got gifts on Christmas day AND their birthday.

But his parents were so f***ing mean the only got him one present, and that was on Christmas day, and they told him it was his birthday present combined.



And here is me. Being REALLY funny, and she doesn't appreciate it. Huh, some people :rolleyes:

I made up a joke during the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill scandal. I told my wife and a couple people…"Mattel is coming out with a talking Anita Hill doll for Christmas. You pull the string and seven years later she starts talking" One week later we heard it on TV :D

I did. It was hilarious!

...but I can only remember the punchline...

"...but it tastes better without the crackers!"


Hahahahaha (okay, I stole this from Winnie the Pooh)