From our questionable thinking files...
 

One of my vice presidents is working a long time project in a city 500 miles away. Three weeks ago he hired a full-time sales associate - 30 years old, supposed to be a great seller. We sent the VP, this woman, and another associate to a 3-day industry seminar/meet and greet event. Basically classes all day and networking parties in the evenings. The new woman skipped half the classes and spent the last night of the event in the room of one of our competitors.

Needless to say she was promptly fired. It takes a special person to f-up this spectacularly the third week on the job.

I had a stamped concrete patio poured 5 years ago and it started cracking in the first year plus the stamping sucked - the mix was too soft at one end, which left depressions in the concrete, and too hard at the other end so the stamp was too shallow. I hired a guy to replace it and he started jacking the old slab out. It's 8" thick and he poured right into holes in the blocks for the block wall the slab sits on. No one knows why he used twice as much concrete as he needed. The redo is going to cost me extra for the time it takes to break this slab up.

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http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1428421573.jpg

What does the first part of your post have to do with the second part? I am missing the connection

If a train leaves Denver heading west @ 150kph, and another train leaves Melbourne heading east @ 200KPH, what is the mercury content of a 5g piece of sushi in Dakar?

I had a home in Seattle with an old concrete sidewalk out front. The house was on a very steep hillside, and there had clearly been some settling over the years. We decided to redo the entire area, so I went after the sidewalk with a jackhammer.

As I started off, everything was fine, and I was peeling away the 4 inch thick sidewalk like nothing. But the farther along I went, the thicker it got. It turns out, the sidewalk had settled a lot in the past 50 years, I mean big time, and instead of taking out the sidewalk and fixing the settlement issues with the hillside, they previous owners had simply kept pouring more and more concrete on top to level it off! The last 8 ft of the sidewalk was 16 inches thick. No, I'm not exaggerating.

wife was thinking about retiring, but wait what the f....... she still had vacation to burn so who i'm I to say..just assume what anyone else would do
oh well.... you know what they say?

then the dam timing belt broke...really I was going about 100mph and bang engine just stops cold. I wonder whats for dinner?

Clearly you screwed up by starting at the wrong end.

New story telling like the new math?

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No, just a couple of examples of particularly bad thinking that I've encountered this week - and it's only Tuesday.

I thought the jackhammer story was the ending to the hotel story?

Huh, I thought it was the other way around.

Waitin' till your billy boiled

Thread hi-jack - Sorry - Couldn't help myself!!

Cheers
JB

About 20 years ago, our company changed their load sheets from expensive preprinted forms (three of them) to a long sheet upon which only those products ordered would appear. Should be simple, right?

Wrong.

Because the guys working in the fridges using the load sheets had been used to the location clues which were now lost,(for example, 2 liter 2% milk was always in the same location on the form) the work slowed down, as they had to read the product description each and every time. Pressure was applied to the staff to pick up the pace of the work and shipping errors abounded.

I took some time to talk to the shipping staff and the common problems noted were they were getting a carbon copy of the load with which to work, the lighting in the fridge was not what it could have been and some of the product descriptions did not follow any kind of pattern. When these observations were taken to the office manager (the one who started this whole thing), his response was it was the problem of the shipping department.

The amount of product that was shipped and returned was heart breaking. And all to save a few thousand on forms.

I am SO glad I'm out of there.
Best
Les

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...


A LUMBERJACK!


(piano vamp)


Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.


CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.


I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.


Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.


CHORUS


I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.


Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????


CHORUS


I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.


Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspenders?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a "girlie"? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!


Read more: Monty Python - Lumberjack Song Lyrics | MetroLyrics

It doesn't always end like the movies.

John, there is medication for that, just sayin'

We should have asked her about that in the exit interview. Maybe it was worth losing her job for "the hammer."

Will a Toyota Prius do more kilometers to the mile and a plain old Corolla?

Les, I feel your pain. Bored managers with no experience but lots of "ideas". Trick is to keep them busy enough to stop them screwing up the actual work.

I've got a jolly jumbuck in my Tuckersack

Waitin' till your billy boiled




BTW, a jolly jumbuck goes into a Tuckerbag

Oh, and icecream has no bones

Can you find ten different features between the two photos?
Jim

14mg

...I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and...

Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking-bird. We'd always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball...

Eh, why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Ooh, look at that one. Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Democrat! Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? There are too many leaves in your walkway..

"Anything whatever which may be imperfectly specified
or imperfectly shown on the plans,
or shown on the plans and not specified,
or which may be specified and not shown,
must be taken and considered and done
as if it were both shown and specified perfectly"

"Weasel Clause" - as seen hanging in project engineer's office next to his P. Eng.

Cheers
JB

Were you wearing an onion on your belt, which I hear was the style at the time...but you couldn't get white onions because of the war, which ended in nineteen dickety six, you had to say dickety because the Kaiser stole our word for "twenty", I chased after him but gave up after dickety-six miles.

Without pics of the woman this Thread is useless...then at least we would have the satisfaction of knowing whether she was worth hittin on.

Dare I say that this sort of Progressive thinking as evidenced by the OP is why this nation is in such dire straits. If all makes sense to the Progressives who nod their heads up and down like little Kewpie dolls in the back window of cars, but the rest of humanity just shakes their collective head wundering what the fk is this about?

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

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Well, I never saw her, so I can't help you with pics.

The nation is in dire straights because of people like this woman - who made a job killing move three weeks into her employment, and people like this cement contractor who was so incompetent he backfilled the job with concrete instead of gravel. I don't think their political affiliation had anything to do with their poor judgement.

When i set up the tri pod for the laser level its important to get the bicemitry correct to avoid the confusion with additional cohesion escalation.
One must get the azimuth to the tangent in right blink order to avoid the hypotenuse distillation .
Significant obtuse leeway will be elongated in the retrieval of the print out .
Never ever hit the "BS now button" before setting the blink position center sensor first .
The blinks will become more frequent as the centered is moved more Left.
This just shows the innocuous of the subject at hand .

I enjoy clowns and fire.

ABANDONED HOMEWORLD FOR SALE, CHEAP!!!
Custom desert-marsh conversion in galactic core, 12% oxygen atm., great weather, friendly native life (missing one moon). Great fix-er-upper. Must sell, alien invasion imminent. $3995 or best offer.

'85 TOYOTA COROLLA, CFN assault craft, former pizza delivery vehicle, moon roof, power brakes/steering, lotsa rust, muffler hole, doesn't start, automatic sliding transmission, broken driver's window, tear away bumpers, detachable interior paneling, interested call greg

How much for the Yota? Are you open to trades? I got some stuff to trade.