Heard a funny little story today.

[fastfredracing]

I have a guy who comes by, and buys all my scrap catalytic convertors .
When I asked him how he was doing today, he told me it was a bad day, and that he woke up with his daughter and wife mad , and not talking to him
It appears , that yesterday, he was nearly arrested for being a pedophile.
He begins his story by telling me, that first thing yesterday, he was picking up a huge lot of convertors , and somehow, got one snagged on his pants, ripping them, and breaking his zipper. He had to finish out the day with a broken zipper, and by mid day his pants button had also given up the ghost. He finished out the day, by tying his pants up with a piece of electric cord. Not ideal, but it worked. He also gets pretty dirty at work, and by the end of most days, his clothes are filthy, and covered in stains . Just like I do, he looks pretty rough, and dis shelved at the end of any given work day
Later that evening, he was supposed to go see his daughters softball game. His plan was to shoot home, shower, change and head to the game . Well, I guess, he got busy, and did not have a chance to get home to change clothes, and he did not want to miss her game, so he just went straight there , greasy clothes, broken zipper and all .
The game was in a nicer area of Pittsburgh ( Mt. Lebanon) for those of you in the know. He clearly does not look like he belongs in this area , looking as he does .
When he got there, he did not want to embarrass himself , or his daughter, with his appearance, and malfunctioning pants, so he decided to watch the game from a wooded area on the other side of the field.
The game is on, and he cannot contain his excitement. He is hooting , and hollering at the girls, and whenever his hands go up, his pants come down. He says that it is a constant struggle , and he has to keep his hands on his belt line to help keep his pants from falling down .
Well, someone must have noticed the dirty wild man off in the distance , cheering on the girls, all the while with his hands on his junk, and his pants occasionally falling down, and the fuzz is called to investigate
When the police show up. They want to know what he is up to, and he tries to explain it to them, but they do not believe him. He tells me he got one of those hard ass buzz cut young guys, who simply will just not believe his story, and keeps making statements like " So you like touching yourself and watching little girls huh? " When they will not listen to his story, he becomes agitated, and starts to give them some lip. He said the officer made some inappropriate comments about he and his daughters relationship, and Long story short, backup arrives, and he ends up in handcuffs in front of all the parents, his daughter, and all her teammates .
The game is now stopped, and all eyes are on the commotion . The whole situation is finally dissolved when the coach of his daughters team, comes over and vouches that he is indeed so and so's father, and is regular at all the games . But he has now managed to do exactly what he set out to avoid in the first place.
His daughter is not talking to him right now.
It is not always easy being a working guy.

[Chocaholic]

A bit of common sense would have saved him a lot of embarrassment. Stop by Walmart and pick up some pants...or go home and arrive at the game 15 minutes late. Seems he could have predicted the course of events.

[Baz]

Ha....funny story......thanks, Fred!

[Dantilla]

Originally Posted by Chocaholic

A bit of common sense would have saved him a lot of embarrassment.

I'm sure he learned that today!

[onewhippedpuppy]

A $10 pair of Wranglers could have really changed this story.

[Tervuren]

Thanks for taking the time to write that up.

[VincentVega]

Thanks Fred. I'm putting an extra pair of pants in the truck first thing in the morning.

[LWJ]

I have a buddy that decided underwear wasn't worth wearing. He went to pick his wife up at the hair salon - not knowing his zipper was down. Similar situation. Narrowly avoided getting arrested.

He wears undies now.

[ckissick]

Did he look something like this?

[Eric 951]

Not surprised this happened in Mt Lebo--those cops have a lot of time on their hands--and are notorious hard-asses unless you are from the 'area"

[sammyg2]

Bad things happen to people who make poor decisions.

He has at least 4 more bad things coming to him before he's even.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

A $10 pair of Wranglers could have really changed this story.

Maybe so....but a "Fred story" is MUCH funnier

[fastfredracing]

I worked for a Sears auto center ,as a second job nightly ,when I was a young un.
One of the older full time techs there was named George. He was a nice guy, but he was fat, and the most slovenly person that I ever met. Chewed on old cigar buts, always coffee stains on his shirt, shoes untied etc.. you all know that guy.
I remember one night, in the shop, he bent over, and split his pants from his rear belt loop , all the way up to his zipper, and he was not wearing underwear.
I nearly peed myself laughing all evening, as did all the other younger guys, but old George , just did not give a rats arse, He would have worked the night out with his junk swinging in the wind.
Management finally went and grabbed him a pair of cheap khakis off the sales floor and made him wear them .

[Bugsinrugs]

I can relate to being grungy at the end of the day. I don't make any commitments at the end of the day for this reason. Get home, stay home.

[wildthing]

This sounds like something I'd hear on a stand-up bit.

[rusnak]

What makes the story funny is that the dad seems more concerned about the mom and daughter being mad at him than he is about being embarrassed.