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-   -   How Do You Deal With Negativity? (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/879559-how-do-you-deal-negativity.html)

M.D. Holloway 08-18-2015 07:38 PM

How Do You Deal With Negativity?
 
I'm sure its a sort of protection mechanism, but so many people are negative and its just not business folk, but people in general. Not sure if it is regional, cultural, socio-ecomonic, ethic but it seems like there is no shortage of those that assume the worst.

I'm so tired of it. I have decided to try and ignore them...thats a tough thing to do.

What do you do when someone you like, or work with / for, are related to, or love is basically getting more and more negative about everything? Its like these people are fully expecting the worst and are not timid about expressing it.

jyl 08-18-2015 09:53 PM

I don't go to PARF.

Nostril Cheese 08-18-2015 10:12 PM

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1439964699.jpg

This and building things that make music, go fast or shoot flames.

Keeping the right kind of people around you is key as well. A hard lesson to learn at times.

pcardude 08-18-2015 10:59 PM

I really struggle with others negativity. It makes me get really depressed sometimes and I have depression problems. So I'm interested to see how others deal with this. It sometimes seems like social media is a way for people to project their negative BS... It's why I've started reading more and have been leaving the computer turned off.

rusnak 08-18-2015 11:38 PM

Negativity? I move away from it. Everything that I do is hard. You can't accomplish anything that is diificult without a positive attitude.

sc_rufctr 08-19-2015 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rusnak (Post 8758918)
Negativity? I move away from it. Everything that I do is hard. You can't accomplish anything that is diificult without a positive attitude.

This... You have to turn you back on it.

Meanwhile the most negative person I know recently started deleting people off her Facebook friends list because they were being negative. :rolleyes:

Porsche-O-Phile 08-19-2015 12:40 AM

Turn off the news - all sources.

Go do physical activity - bike, run, surf, swim...

Stay busy.

Get a lot of vitamin D and B (and sunshine if possible). I find that cold weather, short / dark days, etc. wreak havoc with me. I get S.A.D. really bad (I'm NOT a winter person at all, one reason I'll be leaving New England for good soon). I find that keeping active and getting some sun exposure and vitamin D & B supplements do help a little though.

Meditation helps too. Seriously. 30-60 minutes a day if possible.

DanielDudley 08-19-2015 01:21 AM

IfI was living with someone with mental problems, I would want them to get help. If they didn't want to get help, I would seek council for myself.

A lot of really bright people don't know anything about psychology or common mental disorders. It can be nice to be ignorant, as it tends to lead to continued tolerance, but people need to grow past bad software in the mind, so they can become fully expressed adults - and I don't mean venting.

Without the vocabulary and understanding of the concepts and principals, people tend to fly blind on simple mental health issues, and or put up with things that most people would prefer to move on from, if given a choice. Getting to know oneself, one's unspoken core beliefs and what motivates us to do what we do can lead to happiness and fulfilment, independence, freedom and positive self expression.

Many people without help, will keep on doing the same things over and over again, hoping for different results. You can count on people to do what they have always done pretty much forever, without help. If you care about the people around you, get help for yourself, develop a new vocabulary and outlook, and lead by example. Of course you need to realize that some people don't really experience enough pain from their behavior to be motivated to want to change. But also realize that you too might be one of those people.

If you want to help someone remove a splinter from their eye, first remove the chip from your own, that you might see clearly to help them. Or you could just ask the guys from PARF.

GLWT...

cabmandone 08-19-2015 02:37 AM

I sing that song from the Life Of Brian... "Always look on the bright side of life.."

ckelly78z 08-19-2015 02:51 AM

I really try to see the bright side of things, but have a hard time sometimes. I also stay out of PARF.....it just seems that every post there eventually goes negative with alot of mudslinging and "he said/she said" scenarios.

I choose to read the newspaper and not watch the news on TV, that way, I can scan what I want read, and pass over what doesn't interest me or makes me mad.

It's difficult to stay positive when life and work keep throwing me curveballs.

Scuba Steve 08-19-2015 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pcardude (Post 8758905)
I really struggle with others negativity. It makes me get really depressed sometimes and I have depression problems. So I'm interested to see how others deal with this. It sometimes seems like social media is a way for people to project their negative BS... It's why I've started reading more and have been leaving the computer turned off.

This + people's insane political views are why I started hiding all from (BSC source) on facebook that people were sharing.

I'd also recommend staying away from problem areas such as youtube or article comments which bring out society's dimmest. On the other hand if you're on the computer and just need a good laugh there's always http://www.reddit.com/r/justrolledintotheshop/

In general though I think people spend too much time online. 5 / 10 minutes here and there with a smartphone probably add up to a whole lot of minutes throughout the day.

Jim Richards 08-19-2015 03:46 AM

The good thing about negative people is that they make me feel very happy not to be them. :)

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/d-diB65scQU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Avolyn Ave. 08-19-2015 04:28 AM

I'm on board with all of your posts but...

I'm a high school teacher in a struggling school. Being a special ed teacher I have to answer to my boss(es) as to why so-and-so failed, despite the kid's lack of interest in passing and overwhelming disrespect shown towards the people who are trying to help him. Multiply that scinerio by 100 students and you have my daily battle. Needless to say, it's taxing. I've gotten to the point that I have to take myself out of situations so that I don't get chest pains...literally.

masraum 08-19-2015 04:43 AM

I try to be extra positive. It's contagious, so sometimes it can turn things around, at least when negative folks are around me. If the other folks are too negative, and I can't turn them around, then I give them some space hoping that they'll work out of it by the next time.

I'd seen the positive thing in action years ago with someone that I worked with. It always started when he'd walk into a room and someone would ask him how he was. The answer was never "fine" or anything negative. His answer was always great, fantastic, etc... delivered with a big smile. It always seemed infectious.

GH85Carrera 08-19-2015 04:47 AM

Sarcasm and humor. If that does not work I get away from them.
There are zero reasons for me to hang out with that type of person.

recycled sixtie 08-19-2015 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avolyn Ave. (Post 8759028)
I'm on board with all of your posts but...

I'm a high school teacher in a struggling school. Being a special ed teacher I have to answer to my boss(es) as to why so-and-so failed, despite the kid's lack of interest in passing and overwhelming disrespect shown towards the people who are trying to help him. Multiply that scinerio by 100 students and you have my daily battle. Needless to say, it's taxing. I've gotten to the point that I have to take myself out of situations so that I don't get chest pains...literally.

I give you a big pat on the back for doing this kind of work. The fact that you choose to do this in this school rather than a more academic school is impressive. I see children as a product of their environment and many of them don't have the ability or desire to improve their situation.

Guy

Christien 08-19-2015 05:37 AM

Being a musician, I'm of course biased, but music is the best anti-depressant I can think of. No medication side-effects, inexpensive or free, immediate results, can be private or shared.

Curated streaming services like Songza have really opened my up to new genres. This has become my go-to playlist when I'm making dinner: Afro-Cuban - Songza It's almost impossible to not be happy listening to music like that!

recycled sixtie 08-19-2015 05:53 AM

Exercise is important. Pushing myself in activities such as cycling, hiking, walking make me relaxed and sleep well. I would think that overweight people would find it tougher to enjoy activities because more effort is required. They can start by walking but for some who stay inactive it is hard to get motivated.

Golf is another good activity. I have introduced golf to a few people. Once a beginner gets the ball moving in the right direction and a decent distance then it puts a smile on their face....

Avolyn Ave. 08-19-2015 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie (Post 8759090)
I give you a big pat on the back for doing this kind of work. The fact that you choose to do this in this school rather than a more academic school is impressive. I see children as a product of their environment and many of them don't have the ability or desire to improve their situation.

Guy

Thanks, but to be honest it took me 6 years of blood, sweet, and tears to get a teaching job; I would have accepted a position nearly anywhere. Not to say that high-performing schools do not have their downsides. For instance, instead of dealing with insubordinate, downright nasty kids, you deal with parents questioning and scrutinizing every grade you give a kid. The politics at any school (district) are face palm-worthy to say the least. The stories I could tell...:( It's truly a miserable way to spend a day...day-after-day.

LakeCleElum 08-19-2015 06:07 AM

I used to send her away for a few days to see her grandkids.....Then the grandkids moved 1/2 way across the country. Looking for a new plan.


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