Please Stop Eating My Kayak
 

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Woman thanks Alaska bear for not eating kayak, bear promptly eats kayak | Alaska Dispatch News

Holy smokes.
She is lucky to be alive.
With all that screeching I thought the bear might kill her to shut her up.

Bears never listen !

The girls from Alaska I know would have fired slugs in it's direction as soon as it put it's lips on the boat.

OMG! STFU! Bear, please eat her!

Looks to me like it was after the seat cushion. Must have smelled like fish. Not the bears fault.

I'm guessing she does not have a man around.

Smart bear, dumb woman. As mentioned above, Boo-Boo smells fish or....

Woman talking "why bear you eat my kayak?" As if it understands.

I bearly could stand the voice. No "man" would put up with here.
She is well on her way to the path of Treadwell.
It starts with talking to bears

Still surprised someone anchored out in the inlet didn't yell back
"Shut the f$%% up already!!!!!"


Edit: After further research, I was pleased to learn a minimal donation of $1.00 will provide funding (for a very special non profit), which rehabilitates and trains nearby bears to specifically go mangle her kayak on a weekly basis, thereby preventing this Iris "sunbeam" O'Tannin from ever returning to civilization.


Concerned pelicanites can donate to:

"Keep Sunbeam in the wild" fund
C/O: Matt, Larry, Don, Hank, and Nanuk (Sunbeam's ex-boyfriends)
Soldotna, Alaska 99669

If you go visit bear's feeding areas expect to see bears. Whining at them evidently only make them more destructive.

i'm more than uncomfortable that my plan A and B were less than effective on that bear.

plan A: Bear Spray
plan B: shriek like a little girl

maybe i'll just go directly to Plan C. :)

I was totally rooting for the bear on this one!

Lol.

I needed that midmorning pick me up. :D

It would have been way TOO funny if she sprayed her pepper into the wind...
And ...then all the bear needed was some salt..

Me too, I wanted the bear to shred that thing!

this girl confuses me.

she's competent enough to get a kayak out to berg bay, not easy, but is a complete spaz when confronted by a bear.

i am surprised to see so many agree with me.

had to turn the sound off. also thought the girls voice was more than enough to run the bear off.

beautiful country.

A couple of things struck me, in addition to the incredibly grating voice. First, the bear was the size of a black lab. He was clearly no danger to her. She already sprayed him with pepper and he ran away - toward the kayak. He wouldn't have gone that way if she hadn't chased him there. She could have gotten a stick and chased him off the kayak, or (duh) hit him with the pepper spray again to chase him off the kayak. But the truly remarkable thing is that she seemed to be talking to the bear as though she seriously expected him to listen to her and consider the logic of the arguments she put forth why he shouldn't eat her kayak. It doesn't appear that this nature lover understands that animals don't speak English. They may speak German, Russian, French or Chinese, but bears are completely mute and dumb when it comes to the English language. Maybe she would have had more success if she had taken a second language at school and tried to reason with him in Farsi. Do bears understand Farsi? I don't know but it's clear that they don't speak English, so continuing to reason with him in that language was destined to be futile.

How did the video get onto the Internet? Was it like in the Blair Witch Project where they found an abandoned video camera in the woods and played it back? I certainly hope so.