My dad was buried yesterday...many surprises going thru his papers preparing obit

[Dueller]

My dad died October 22 as a result of complications from alzheimers, pneumonia and a broken hip. He was 82. He was a career Army NCO. After retiring from the military he worked in sales with Metropolitan Life and ultimately took over my mother's family farm to raise cattle. About 3 years ago he began to slow down and had to sell off his cows but still lived on the farm.

My brother and I did not realize the extent of his Alzheimers because mom did such a good job of covering it up. On July 4th my mother had to be hospitalized due to a colon b;ockage. She was in for 14 days and I returned to stay with my dad while she was in hospital. I took him to visit her every day where he sat with her for 10-12 hrs a day. It quickly became apparent his mental/neurological health was failing. Ultimately he had to be hospitalized in a geri psyche hospital to get him stabilized.

Mom was released from hospital and had to go into a rehab facility to regain her physical strength. Once dad was stabilized he had to be moved to a alzheimers memory care facility. Mom was released from rehab and moved to a retirement apartment near dad's facility. Dad was always an outdoor person an he figure out a way to "escape" the facility and slipped unsupervised into a garden area. There he fell and broke his hip on september 19th.

He was hospitalize for partial hip replacement (ball only on femur since socket not damaged). Released and admitted to same rehab my mom was in earlier. Tried his damndest in PT but hip jumped out of socket 4 times. So back to hospital he went for full hip replacement. The back to rehab facility again. Infection set in on hip wound. Developed into pneumonia anf he ultimately was so drained he passed. We were able to get him on jhospice which was a wonderful experience for both him and my family. Very peaceful and calm....he died with my mother, brother and I holding him.

[KFC911]

Very sorry for your loss Jim...take care and hope you are doing well....

[Jim Richards]

My condolences, Jim.

[herr_oberst]

I'm sorry to hear this, Jim

My condolences to you and your whole family The story of how you held him at the end was touching and wonderful...and thanks for sharing.

[porsche4life]

Sorry to hear about your father Jim. Its sad to see family starting to slip. My grandmother is heading down that path as well. Its hard seeing them not able to recognize family members or their surroundings.

[Scott Douglas]

My folks have been gone a while now.
Sorry to hear of your loss.
My in-law's are now a primary concern for us as they are a lot like your dad was now.
He sounds like he was a good guy.
Again, condolences to your family.

[Laneco]

Very sorry to hear this Dueller... Love and big hugs for you dear.

steve and angela

[Dueller]

Dad was a very tough taskmaster....imagine being raised by a drill sergeant! He always expected us to do our best and excel in whatever we did. To have goals....never give up trying ....always try to improve yourself. Yet he never wanted us to follow in his footsteps and pursue a military career....he felt we were destined for something else. And there was always an emphasis on education. I guess thats why my brother became a Doctor of Veterinary medicine and I became a lawyer (I was probably a disappoint there... And he encouraged my mom to go back to school and she received her Masters in Speech Pathology at the age of 56. Dad even returned to school and got a degree in Marketing when he was in his late forties. Didn't need it....just wanted it. I t likely was because he was in the military so young and never got a chance in his early years.

Dad never talked about the military after retirement to us or anyone else except for rare snippets here and there. People knew he was retired Army but that was about it/ Never talked about his experiences or accomplishments. No "ego" wall in his den. Never would watch a war movie or the history channel. He quietly went on with his life.

But here's a thumbnail sketch of our discoveries in going through the bottom of a cedar chest through hiws papers and ribbons and medal tossed haphazaradly in a zip lock bag. He probably would be on my ass for telling this because he never did.


Dad started his carreer fighting in the Korean conflict likely joining to escape the abject poverty of his youth in south Louisiana. He was 6' tall and 140 lbs when he joined. He would ultimately reach ^ 6' 3" and 215 lbs before retiring. In Korea he was seriously wounded with 18 machine gun wounds in his torso and legs. He received the Purple Heart. He left Korea and spent the next 9 month in a body cast. O yeah...He received the Silver Star and the Bronze Star with the V device for valor.

We did find an officially validated report that he was seperated from his squad and founde himself trapped betweem his men and ten chinese combatants dug in. He charged the ten men and emptied his last two clips from his M1carbine and only wounded them superficially (now I know why he a;ways hated the M1). He took the men prisoner and escorted them back to his base alone. Good thing they didn't know he was out of ammo.

Because of his conduct in Korea he began to get sought after positions and promotions yet he decided to go to ranger school. He was in weapons development working with domestic and overseas manufacturers. Because of hyis stature and movie star looks he was the human "model" in numerous weapons training manuals. The are several pics of him teaching various generals how to shoot new weaponry. He went to sharpshooter/sniper school.


More to follow if this doesn't bore you guys or make me sound like a braggart. It is cathartic for me...

[PetrolBlueSC]

While a tremendous loss having your father pass, it's also a rich family experience having all of you there at the end. My grandmother went through a similar decline in her last few months. Instead of the pain and confusion she expereinced, I think about her fighting it to the end. She still makes me proud. I'm guessing you feel the same about your parents.
Peace be with you and your family.

[craigster59]

My condolences Jim. Your Dad sounds like a great man, can't wait to hear more about his heroics (and I'm sure you have a few funny stories you could slip in there).

[gacook]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Dad was a very tough taskmaster....imagine being raised by a drill sergeant! He always expected us to do our best and excel in whatever we did. To have goals....never give up trying ....always try to improve yourself. Yet he never wanted us to follow in his footsteps and pursue a military career....he felt we were destined for something else. And there was always an emphasis on education. I guess thats why my brother became a Doctor of Veterinary medicine and I became a lawyer (I was probably a disappoint there... And he encouraged my mom to go back to school and she received her Masters in Speech Pathology at the age of 56. Dad even returned to school and got a degree in Marketing when he was in his late forties. Didn't need it....just wanted it. I t likely was because he was in the military so young and never got a chance in his early years.

Dad never talked about the military after retirement to us or anyone else except for rare snippets here and there. People knew he was retired Army but that was about it/ Never talked about his experiences or accomplishments. No "ego" wall in his den. Never would watch a war movie or the history channel. He quietly went on with his life.

But here's a thumbnail sketch of our discoveries in going through the bottom of a cedar chest through hiws papers and ribbons and medal tossed haphazaradly in a zip lock bag. He probably would be on my ass for telling this because he never did.


Dad started his carreer fighting in the Korean conflict likely joining to escape the abject poverty of his youth in south Louisiana. He was 6' tall and 140 lbs when he joined. He would ultimately reach ^ 6' 3" and 215 lbs before retiring. In Korea he was seriously wounded with 18 machine gun wounds in his torso and legs. He received the Purple Heart. He left Korea and spent the next 9 month in a body cast. O yeah...He received the Silver Star and the Bronze Star with the V device for valor.

We did find an officially validated report that he was seperated from his squad and founde himself trapped betweem his men and ten chinese combatants dug in. He charged the ten men and emptied his last two clips from his M1carbine and only wounded them superficially (now I know why he a;ways hated the M1). He took the men prisoner and escorted them back to his base alone. Good thing they didn't know he was out of ammo.

Because of his conduct in Korea he began to get sought after positions and promotions yet he decided to go to ranger school. He was in weapons development working with domestic and overseas manufacturers. Because of hyis stature and movie star looks he was the human "model" in numerous weapons training manuals. The are several pics of him teaching various generals how to shoot new weaponry. He went to sharpshooter/sniper school.


More to follow if this doesn't bore you guys or make me sound like a braggart. It is cathartic for me...

I personally find it fascinating to hear about the "old soldiers" and their stories, so hope you do post more; however, if you find it cathartic, don't worry about what anyone else on here thinks about it.

Very sorry for your loss, Dueller. Sounds like your dad was both a great role model/father and a great soldier to our nation. His kind leave a deep hole when they move on.

[MBAtarga]

Jim, Sounds like a great man - and I'm sure he was too!
Please feel free to share more stories should you decide....

[Dueller]

He was sent back to Korea during the cease fire negotiations attached to the UN. He was absent for several months during the Bay of Pigs fiasco/ He spent the early sixties in Fort Ord, CA. Then our family was back to Ft Benning while he went to Vietnam as an advisor. He was wounded during this stint and quietly recieved another purple Heart. We went to Germany in the mid 60's and he was attached to the senior NCO academy....however I remember long period of weeks at a time when he would "disappear" apparently going into East Germany surreptitiously. There are gaps and redacted documents during this period of time that we cant figure out what was going on. I guess Dad was some kind of spook. LOL.

Nearing retirement he was assigned to To head up the University of Houston ROTC department in the later 60's/ While there his cadets won National Titles in both rifle team and drill team. Since there was no Army base there and dad was the ranking NCO (E-9) in the area., his other duty was to notify families that there loved ones were KIA. wounded or MIA. I remember this being a tough time around our household.

War protests were going strong and in Jan 1968 the Tet offensive was going down/ Lots of casualties and students threatening to take over the ROTC building. My dad got quite a bit of press when he addressed a crowd of protesters with a bullhorn reminding them that his cadets won the national target competition and he did have m1s with live ammunition at his disposal. The students decided to become peaceful protesters. He got called on the carpet for that but in his defense he was just giving them the facts and never threatened them. The ROTC buiulding was never threatened again tho.....

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Dueller

More to follow if this doesn't bore you guys or make me sound like a braggart. It is cathartic for me...

Yeah, Jim, we are all bored.

These are the threads I cherish: Mom's and Dad's, accomplishments, children doing neat stuff, stories told without any other purpose other than to share.

[GWN7]

I'm sorry for your loss Jim.

I lost my dad last year to alzheimers.

Type on. Memories are meant to be shared.

[Dueller]

While there were many surprises we found such as the number of medals (we've found 20 or so) and honors and letters of appreciation and even a presidential citations from Eisenhower and Kennedy, one thing kinda blew us away. We thought he received orders to go to Vietnam the second time in late 1968. Nope. Though eligible to retire he extended and volunteered. This was apparently a secret even my mom didn't know. And he requested an assignment to the front lines. Son of a *****! And he received another bronze star for that stint...meritorious service with two oak leaf clusters. At least he didn't get wounded....AGAIN (in my best Forrest Gump accent).

I remember telling him I was worried about him getting hurt or killed.......I was about 13 or so. Ham. He sat me down and said "Son....more people get killed each year on the highways than in Vietnam. I'll be safer than you will riding in the car with Mom." And that was that. Cracked the church up when the preacher told that story at his funeral.

We found a letter written from vietnam on the back of his orders awarding him the combat infantrymans medal and part of it read "Hello Honey and sweet boys....Thank you for the banana bread and gum. I really enjoyed it but please don't send any more. The air mail postage is too much money and if you send it regular mail it will be moldy and stale by the time it gets here. Save the money for you and the boys.......We sure are losing a lot of boys every day here. I have been able to protect them from being shot by the enemy but the enemy keeps coming up with horrible booby traps. But I'll continue to try and keep them safe....All my love, Carl"

And he came home safe in November 1969 and retired He was 36 years old....nine days shy of his 37th birthday. He had served his country for over 21 years. He had used a cousin's birth certificate and lied about his age to Join at age 15. Now I really understand why he was so intolerant when I was an unruly teenager.

[oldE]

Jim,

Thanks for sharing the memories with us.
In the missing bit around the Bay of Pigs is it possible your Dad was attached to that op?
How's your Mom holding out?
When my wife lost her Dad two years ago, we could hardly believe the strength her Mom displayed. I don't want to look twenty or thirty years into the future to imagine how one of us would deal with that.

Best
Les

[Dueller]

Thanks guys (and Angela) for your condolences and understanding.

His services were great....but the graveside military pall bearers, honor guard, Bugler playin taps, 21 gun salute. flag presentation was tough to get thru. Mom is h0lding up great,

[VaSteve]

Great stories.

I wish I had more to say but I enjoyed reading them.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by Dueller

More to follow if this doesn't bore you guys or make me sound like a braggart. It is cathartic for me...

I can think of no better use for this forum.
I've enjoyed reading about him.