11 Simple Rules On What To Do When Your Parent Dies
 

I ran across this article and thought I would share it here.

Many of us have already lost parents....or will at some point.

My father died at 48 years young in '68. My Mom though, God bless her, is still going strong at 92.

I'm the closest son and am doing some research on how to handle things although yeah....I know it still won't prepare me emotionally...nothing will. But I'll be as proactive as I can.

Here's the article:
http://www.xojane.com/family/8-simple-rules-on-what-to-do-when-your-parent-dies

The articles underlying theme is there is no right way to grieve or mourn the death of a parent...all bets are off and I could not agree more.

I think of my mother everyday in the most positive of ways, little stored vignettes of goodness that frame my life, still resonate. I never once cried about or lamented upon her death. While premature in many ways, her passing was nearly a blessing given her unstinting fight against the emperor of all maladys. We as a family had time to prepare, to look into the mystic of why.

If not yet accomplished, I will recommend that you get your mother's legal affairs in order, build the cookbook of expectations now. Appropriate, specific sharing of your mother's wishes will color everything on her passing, ease the pain by not adding doubt.

Best.

Good advice Paul. Bar are going through this now with my grandmother and Thuy's father. My grandma has all her stuff signed, DNR, etc. the whole family knows what she wants...


Thuy's dad refuses to talk about it, nobody knows what he wants.... It's frustrating.

And if I may...some of us here are at the threshold of needing to do this for ourselves. I am 64 and have a real estate and savings trust in place as well as an advanced medical directive. So when my time comes all my kids need to do is plan the keg party..yup that's my wake, a kegger!

There it is. My father had everything detailed to very specific wishes...including the type of libation for his final toast. He named names and then gave me latitude as his executor.

Planning for the eventual is the greatest blessing we can give.

Well done FB.

Thuy and I have talked about needing to at least fill out living wills and that sort of stuff. Better t have it done than to end up on permanent life support because you didn't!

The article covered a lot of bases. I guess the single best thing to remember is be good to yourself. Whatever you feel is what's in you. Just accept it.
Each of my siblings and I reacted to the death of our parents in different ways. We're a pretty understanding family. When my aunt and uncle died, my cousins - holy crap. I watched them judge each other on how they reacted, loudly and to anyone who would listen. It made things much worse.

I want everyone at my funeral issued a taser. The last person standing gets everything.