Carpool Conundrum
 

I'll be starting a new job soon. I was talking with an acquaintance who currently works at this job. He asked where I live, I tell him and he mentions that there is a guy in the office who lives nearby. "You guys could carpool" he suggests.

I'm not a fan of carpooling. In fact, getting in the car at the end of the work day is something I usually look forward to as a means to unwind and gather my thoughts on the drive home. If I happen to drive the P car - even more so. I like my time behind the wheel.

Now, I haven't even met the guy. He might be a pretty cool dude, etc., but if the subject comes up how do get around this without sounding like a jerk or that I don't want anything to do with him (which of course isn't the case)? I don't want to start off on a bad foot.

Am I getting ahead of myself?

You've spelled it out pretty good right there. Just say you've never really been a car pooler because that's your alone time, that's how you decompress at the end of the day. Anybody has a hard time with that you don't want to be carpooling with anyway!

Try it once. If you don't like it, just say "I have after-work obligations, not sure when I need to leave every day" or "Carpooling didn't work out."

Simple, as you said, "I'm not a fan of carpooling."

Had my sister working at my office one summer, rule was, you get in the car in the morning don't talk to me, just sit there, quietly. If you can't do that find another way to the office.

I liked my sister but my in car alone time was how I got ready for my day.

heck I'm that way when i take the kids to school in the morning... even more so if I've not had enough coffee yet

This ^

I don't/won't carpool. Like stomachmonkey, my drive in to work is how I prep for my day--and don't want to be disturbed. My drive home is my decompression, as well (though my commute is really damn short).

Did you ever see the movie "Stripes?"
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Thanks guys - I didn't think I was the only one who liked my "Me" time in the car.

I just don't want to rub anyone (new coworkers) the wrong way.

"Not a fan of carpooling" sounds snobbish, especially at a new place.

Just say you're still working out your schedule, or you need the flexibility because of family situation.

Just mumble something that sounds like "flatulence"

Traffic must be light and gas cheap!

I don't understand why you have to be behind the wheel to decompress. If anything, it is better to be in the passenger's seat and chill. Nobody says you have to talk the whole way. Take a book, listen to music or read on your phone. I love my train ride over driving myself. I catch up on my personal email, listen to music, browse work email and come in better prepared than anyone else with the latest and ready for the day.

I would give it a try. Have you even ever carpooled?

I am not a greenie, but geez guys, this is why we have such a traffic mess in most places. People here, even with fast carpool lanes would rather sit an extra hour in the car by themselves instead of arranging something.

All this said. What is a must is that the carpool partner has a safe car and is a safe driver.

G

My car is also my personal space & not many people get invited into that.

Sometimes it's best just to be honest. Just be upfront and tell him them how you feel.

I have seen carpooling gone bad. Friendships ruined, and the wife's taking them home from work...

It takes a lot of trust to get into a strangers car imho.

".......my drive in to work is how I prep for my day--and don't want to be disturbed. My drive home is my decompression........."

I guess I was fortunate not to have a job that stressful.
But I wouldn't want to motorcyclepool either ;)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I had been working for a company for 12 years, when they moved all the production equipment to a small town 30 miles away to consolidate thier operations with another plant that was already established there. My wife works with a woman who's husband had worked in this other plant for about 10 years, and she came up with the bright idea to carpool with this guy.

I like listening to the "Bob and Tom show" on the way to work, and laughing my ass off, and listening to hard rock really loud on the way home. sometimes, I take different routes winding my way home, or going to store if needed.

He would have none of this, he was offended by almost everything on the B & T show, and only listened to Rush Limbaugh, or Christian music, and stuck to the same rigid route with no stops.

I was never so happy to finally get promoted to a prototype tech back in the home headquarters where I had worked for 12 years previously.....I love doing what the hell I want on my commute, and having a floating finish to my workday. I'll never carpool again.

I didn't feel that I could stop the arrangement, because it would create tension for my wife, and he actually loved carpooling, even though he would leave me waiting for him in the morning and afternoon....he didn't see any problem.

This is the kind of stuff that's been on my mind as well.

^This. I was going to suggest something about "dismembered body parts in the trunk", but this is a better idea. Keep it simple and non committal. This will immediately buy you several months with a 98% chance it will never be mentioned again. If it does get mentioned- repeat initial statement until it sticks.

True dat!

I'm not a fan of car pooling, but...

I found out a co-worker I already knew who was very laid back and easy going lived a block from me.

We car pooled for a year and it was great... then she changed jobs (she was happily married so don't go there!) still see her out walking her dogs... come to think of it she was pushing a stroller so she may have took off to have a baby.

I have been trying to get into one of those van pool deals but so far no luck.