Do you think the beautiful people really have it eaiser in life ?

[fastfredracing]

Deep thoughts today. Looking at some photos of old friends today, and saw my buddies photo on FB. This dude was a true pheonix . He really rose from the ashes. Grew up in ratty trailer park with alchoholic parents., and was surrounded by dead beat neighbors . But, he was a good looking guy. He excelled in high school, had tons of friends, went on through college, married a supermodel( not really but beautiful anyhow ) has a good job etc. People like him . Always have
He was a good guy, and I know he worked hard, but I am betting he got all sorts of extra chances in life, just because he was such a handsome fellow.
Same goes for the pretty girls, they can basically have their pic in men. and you know all sorts of doors are opened up for them based just on looks alone.
I guess all us ordinary schlubs just gotta work that much harder

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

I am betting he got all sorts of extra chances in life, just because he was such a handsome fellow.
Same goes for the pretty girls, they can basically have their pic in men. and you know all sorts of doors are opened up for them based just on looks alone.

It can open doors, but it's no guarantee of anything lasting. You have to follow up that first impression with substance or the door will slam.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

It can open doors, but it's no guarantee of anything lasting. You have to follow up that first impression with substance or the door will slam.

true true.

but less true for women. good looking women? they don't actually ever have to be competent at anything, well until they are not longer beautiful.

[JD159]

Without trying to sound like an arrogant ass, I wouldn't consider myself "beautiful" but I did get a few extra points in the physical appearance/ability category in the lucky draw of life.

I've been to a few interviews with female managers/bosses and I've had some hit on me during the interview. Age didn't seem to matter either. Once had a lady in her 50's try to explain to me that because where I was planning on doing some work offered gracious living (fancy retirement home) my...erm...nice looking young man-ness...as she stumbles, gesturing at me, trying not to say that "my looks" are an asset. I was definitely her favourite out of all the new employees. She even yelled at one of the tenants because they were rude to me . And that is just one situation.

I'd say it 100% has perks. Not really fair but that's just the way it is. My appearance typically works in my favour in all kinds of situations, across different ages and genders. It has been the same with sports. Was always one of the fastest or strongest players on sports teams. Picked usually first. Things just come easier and quicker. Fortunately I'm grounded enough to realize my own fortunate situation, what a stroke of luck it is and the not everyone was born with more points in certain areas. It doesn't make you better than anybody else out there, because you didn't do anything to earn it. As much as I hate the saying, it is what it is. Some people are smarter, stronger, faster, better looking, more charming, healthier and each will have advantages that can give a leg up on someone.

[Charles Freeborn]

I think the operative in the OP's post is "excelled" and "worked hard". Those things are probably most important in the scheme of things.
Best example I can think of is Bill Gates. By no means a classically handsome fellow.

Now, race, that does play a part, and if you're including that in your definition of "beautiful", then the conversation changes significantly.

[wdfifteen]

[speeder]

This is actually a field that has been studied scientifically by social scientists and the conclusions are pretty iron-clad. People who are considered to be attractive by physical standards do indeed have large advantages in life, starting as small children and continuing all the way to the nursing home.

One of the studies involved teachers' perceptions of the relative intelligence of school children; they were able to show that they considered the better looking ones to be smarter even when testing showed that they were not, (perhaps there were equal, it was not a huge variance but it held up w/o fail). Exceptionally pretty girls are rewarded every day of their lives, starting as small children, with compliments from strangers and relatives, more people smiling at them, etc. Exceptionally handsome boys may get some of this but it's mostly the much more valuable perception of their abilities by authority figures and others.

Is it fair that people are rewarded so much for something they have zero control over? No, but life is unfair. This is also not to say that a person's looks are the only advantage or disadvantage to have in life but its significant and proven. Do all attractive people have amazing lives? Of course not. Many are cursed w addiction, fatal diseases or other "bad luck" hands dealt in life. My mom always considered her sister's beauty as a curse, that everything came too easily to her and did not properly prepare her for life's challenges. I personally think that my aunt had other problems and this was not her main deal but my mom disagrees w me on it.

For women in particular, who are rewarded in the extreme for their beauty when young, life can be tough when they get older and the beauty fades if they have invested most or all of their self-worth in it or have gotten used to everything being easy because of it. Beautiful people get mates easier, jobs easier, promotions easier, everything easier when other factors are zeroed-out.

As for the science behind this, of course it's true that attractiveness is on a very incremental scale and extremely variable. It's a hell of a lot better to be slightly attractive than homely. Homely people have it very tough in life. It could be argued that it's a bigger handicap than mediocre intelligence. It's been accurately described as the last allowable discrimination; age/race/religion/gender have all been addressed and discrimination outlawed but it's impossible to stop discrimination based on attractiveness. It's just a fact of life.

Interesting topic.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by Charles Freeborn

I think the operative in the OP's post is "excelled" and "worked hard". Those things are probably most important in the scheme of things.
Best example I can think of is Bill Gates. By no means a classically handsome fellow.

Now, race, that does play a part, and if you're including that in your definition of "beautiful", then the conversation changes significantly.

Yes, Bill Gates. In a real "brains field", like technology or medicine, looks matter much less and anyone can be wildly successful based on ability. This is true of many fields but it doesn't change the fact that doors open and life is easier for attractive people.

[Seahawk]

Threads like this are f'ing Catnip and why I still post here.

I was persecuted for my good looks, something I have really never gotten over. The fact that I was athletic simply compounded the horror, especially in HS.

Therapy helped a bit but my therapist spent more time talking to my johnson than she did listening to the true me.

Advantage? To the unfortunate, perhaps. To me a burden I carry everyday of my sunshine life.

I hope this helps others.

[911boost]

Damnit, Paul beat me to it!

[speeder]

Lol...me too.

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Threads like this are f'ing Catnip and why I still post here.

I was persecuted for my good looks, something I have really never gotten over. The fact that I was athletic simply compounded the horror, especially in HS.

Therapy helped a bit but my therapist spent more time talking to my johnson than she did listening to the true me.

Advantage? To the unfortunate, perhaps. To me a burden I carry everyday of my sunshine life.

I hope this helps others.

It's a gilded cage, isn't it Paul? I've stared at myself in the mirror for hours on end contemplating this very subject.

[aschen]

Of course it is an advantage to be good looking in nearly every aspect of life.


not that I would Know first hand.

[scottmandue]

Tosh.0

"Sorry ladies but if you are ugly you are going to have to get out there and get a job...





Just like a man."

[stevej37]

Originally Posted by craigster59

It's a gilded cage, isn't it Paul? I've stared at myself in the mirror for hours on end contemplating this very subject.

Lol....yeah I thought I was the only one with these kind of problems...I feel better now!

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by craigster59

It's a gilded cage, isn't it Paul? I've stared at myself in the mirror for hours on end contemplating this very subject.

Made me laugh.

The best line I have ever read/heard about the subject: Looks fade, a sense of humor and talent do not.

Now, for me, having three out of three means never having to say I'm sorry.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Tosh.0

"Sorry ladies but if you are ugly you are going to have to get out there and get a job...





Just like a man."

the theory of the disposable male .... read it. its true.

[scottmandue]

I have to presume this is a rhetorical question?
Pretty obvious if two people apply for a job who are exactly equal except one is beautiful and one is ugly the attractive individual will get the job (unless the wife is hiring the mans secretary)
However... it boggles my mind how some very attractive, intelligent females make some spectacularly bad choices in selecting a mate.

I'm sure there is a library full of psychology that can explain that.

[Puma]

I completely disagree.

I believe a person's emotional intellect has the greatest impact on their success and ease in life.

[aschen]

For a couple years when I was much younger (early 20s) I some how tricked a girl that was much better looking than me to date me for a while. I was mostly too dumb and intimidated by her to capitalize on this good fortune however.

Anyways she was a nice and smart girl as well, but I can tell you that on no instance was anybody mean or impolite for her. You know how occasionally you get attitude from random people in your life? Not her, even women were nicer to her. I also found it creepy that I could see older men looking at her alot. Now that Im an old man I understand though! Anyways this effect was not subtle or imagined.