The Amazing Wonder Hose
 

Some how after a Great family day boating down the Brazos River .....My lovely wife said she would mow before it got dark. A few minutes later she says there is a problem with the zero turn mower. Some how she sucked up a 50 foot pocket hose and there was no sign of it. I knew where it was and told her not to worry about it. 30 minutes later with a floor jack and a box knife I remove all 50 ft from the mower blades 1 foot at a time. She said it has a lifetime warranty. I never got upset and I told her I have 3 lbs of shrimp I am cooking on the grill.

Worst
Haiku
Ever

Thought it was a nickname?

My wife cut a Yellow Jacket 100' extension cord in half today with the electric edger. I've had it 17 years.

How can they do stuff like this?

Wife recently turned a 100ft cord into a pair, 83ft and 17ft. Hedge trimmers. To be fair, I had an electric lawn mower years ago, and managed to run over the cord.

I think a racoon or possum got into my garage night before last....knocked over some stuff and left a small pool of pee.....