Why can't they
 

Just get their crap together, get the FCK out of the house, and get the FCK in the car so we can leave? Every single day. Why?

"They" meaning "she."

this will get resolved some millennia after peace in the middle east is found.

Dude just read some magazines in the car.

I take it all is not well in the House of Gogar. You are early in the relationship. I have gotten used to it and mostly just accept it.

There are only 3-4 regular posters here who even have a snowball's chance on this one...pretty sure they don't know either.

a profound bit of knowledge from another thread
"My suggestion is that you not waste one more minute thinking that you can somehow control "where the leaves blow.""

I think it's somehow related to the purse and all the crap carried in it.

if i'm doing something where i'm leaving the house a 0 dark thirty and need to bring a lot of stuff, say for hunting, fishing, long cycling event....it can take me a bit to get out of the house. the process of putting my mind or hands on every thing I need to bring takes time even though I prepare the night before.

so i'm thinking maybe this is like having a purse.

ANOTHER theory I have is maybe women spend so much time thinking about drama (who's trying to destroy who, what the man has done wrong this morning, etc) that when it's time to leave they are shocked into the reality of the moment and need time to prepare.

And Tabby's dragon azz thread is soon to be toppled too :)

"I'll be in the car surfing tinder and cycletrader. Take your time."

Haha.... I feel your pain. We go through this all the time.

Typical scenario:

We're heading out on an international trip. We need to leave the house at 3:30 AM to get to the airport for our flight. She stays up for 48 hours beforehand, packing. I wake up and give her the 30 minute warning, then the 15 minute warning. I move my bag to the foyer by the front door and go out and startup the truck. I go in to collect her and her bags and I find her in the bathtub, with all her stuff scattered everywhere. Yelling ensues. She throws everything she's been scrutinizing for 48 hours into her luggage and we make it out of the driveway only 15 minutes late.

Every. Time. Without. Fail.

I find it quite endearing :) I have no choice, but to.

One of Jeff Foxworthy's facts of life:

"Your wife can have long, beautiful hair, or you can be on time"

I think we all have similar stories. Oftentimes, when we need to be somewhere at a particular time, I will tell my wife "We need to be pulling out of the driveway at 9:15". Around 9:13 I will ask, "Are you ready to go?". She will say "Yes" then head into the bathroom for 10 minutes. I have learned and now always subtract at least ten minutes from the stated departure time, longer if we are going to something formal like a wedding.

You just married the wrong woman.

When my wife knows we should be somewhere she is ready to go even before I am. We are never late for anything and often the first to arrive and a club function or meeting.

Being late drive me nuts. It just shows a total disregard for other people's time. We know one couple that is always late. We would meet at a restaurant and we would be on time and they (mostly she) was late. We finally gave up and just ordered our meal and were finishing up by the time they arrived. We chatted for a few minutes and left on schedule. They did not get to eat. We just did get to the stage play before they started.

I operate on TABS time....which has no relationship to the dictatorship of the clock on the wall. Clocks are a Swiss confidence game so that they could be employed making clocks...Now we have to tell what time it is, instead of getting up with the sun and going to sleep when it goes down.

Sounds like an anal fixation...we must adhere to the dictates of the clock at all times...somehow that does fit you well as it shows a lack of flexibility in your thinking.

This is just part of life. It's as natural as taking your morning dump, but not as fun.

In our house it has become a joke.

"Honey, are you ready to leave?"
"Yes, I just have to finish my hair and pick out some shoes."
"Then, No."
"Yes."

I tend to give out times like: "We need to be there by 9:30". I don't mention that it starts at 10:00. Or 10:30. The extra prep time required after "We need to go now" is built into the "we need to be there" time. Control what you can, don't worry about what you can't.

In 25 years of marriage I have learned only a few things:

One is that as soon as you start talking about taking separate cars so that she can "take her time getting ready", all the sudden-like it doesn't take her as long to get ready.

And yes, she does know that I would let her driver herself (late).

Yep I stopped pestering "We need to leave now..." my wife years ago. Just build in 30 minutes into the departure time. I sit in the car and catch up with email.

Another minor issue is that she will wait until we arrive, park, and engine off before going into her "routine" (hair, makeup touch-up, checking purse for content, phone). Usually it's another 5 minutes in the car for us.