While in the military, I asked our supervisor (always the jokster) where Sgt. Mutz was...that I had a meeting with him.
He said, "You can check back there in the Tech Order Library."
So as I'm halfway down the 30 - 40 yard hallway, I heard him say, "He's not down there but you can check anyway."
:mad:

Same supervisor...we were standing by the window of the shop on fifth floor looking out at the flight line...B-52's for as far as you could see...and he was telling me great stories of his career, etc.
He convinced me that the Air Force had more ships than the US Navy.
I was 18 at the time and just a naive country boy... I was ripe for his BS.

The one we are on had a 1 and a 2. The other buttons were for door open and close.

I used to conspire with a salty old Master Chief, who would send one of my boot Marines (always on their first float and always a kid who'd never been on a ship before) down to the engine room to find Chief So-and-So and bring back a can of a very special type of grease. Of course Chief So-and-So never had the right viscosity and would send my guy off to someone else, who would send him to someone else until he was finally sent to the bridge (typically 2-3 hours after starting his mission) where they'd always have a ball with him. Sometimes even the Skipper would join in the fun. There's nothing quite like watching a kid who's been in the Corps maybe six months explaining to the Old Man why he was attempting to gain entry to the bridge, while at the same time trying to explain to the Master Chief why it's taken him so long to get a simple can of nautical bearing grease.

_

Most here are also done this way, I've always thought it was stupid. I think most here would have just pushed the button without correcting the person.

That's what I was thinking, but the size I believe is the handle length, 8", 10", 12" etc.
I have 5 sizes over my bench.

One guy in my fraternity house was a goldmine - here's three:

Yelling upstairs to his roommate, "Hey, grab my coffee cup. It's, it's, it's the round one."

On a hot afternoon, "Wow, you guys are going through ice like it's water."

Agreeing to meet later in the day, "Okay, we'll meet at 3:00. (points to himself) I look like this."

When my little brother would ask to borrow a crescent wrench I would refuse until he could tell me if he needed a US or Metric. Big brothers can be so cruel.....

In aviation, it's common to sent the new guy for a bucket of prop wash.

I assumed she had not been there before and was unfamiliar with your particular lift.

Had a cousin who did gigs on Holland America cruise ships for years.
While in the middle of the Pacific Ocean hundreds if not thousands of miles from land in any direction, would be asked all sorts of loony questions.

Two of my favorites:
Do you sleep on the ship?
Where’s the elevator to the front of the ship?

it's the case in a lot of countries outside the US... It's not entirely illogical... G for ground floor, 1 for first level above it, etc... because american english uses the same word "floor" for ground floor an the floors above it, it seems silly, but not everyone follows that convention and use different words for above floors ;-)

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1478285204.jpg

I did not know which button to push! :eek:

A high school buddy of mine and I were riding our motor bikes when a woman pulled right out in front of us. Fortunately we were not going that fast and only received minor injuries when we slammed into the side of her car. Screwed up the bikes though. The police officer was asking her for her side of the story. "Well, I looked both ways and all I saw was two motor cycles."

now THAT is truly screwed up!

My Dad used to work hard to provide firewood.......When I was putting too much in the stove, he once yelled: "You think that stuff grows on trees?"

GF was just as bad. She was looking at an old pile of firewood and said "This firewood is rubbish, we should just burn the stuff." LOL I still quote her on that one.

I live by the ocean and sometimes we get fog...
Driving into work this morning through the fog... one person was driving with their high beams on...

A couple from the local tv news station.....

Weather girl announces that we are going to get heavy heavy rain or maybe not.

Interviewing a young very cute blonde girl at the gas station asking her how she felt about the constant raising price of gas. Her response was that she really didn't mind too much because she always just puts twenty dollars worth in her tank.

A long time ago I helped friends with their food booth at craft fairs.

Me: How can I help you?
Guy: ::coughing:: Can I get Coke?
Me: Sure.
Guy: ::drinking Coke:: Ahhh! My food went down the wrong throat.

Newscaster once covering a big storm off the coast of Texas:

"Now something you have to understand about Padre Island - It is an island that is surrounded by WATER"