happy thanksgiving all!

[id10t]

[MMiller]

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Por_sha911]

Ah yes, Alice. "Remember Alice? There's a song about Alice"

Been singing it since 1974

This song is called "Alice's Restaurant." It's about Alice, ... and the restaurant. But "Alice's Restaurant" is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song, and that's why I call the song "Alice's Restaurant."

You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.
You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.
Walk right in, it's around the back.
Just a half a mile from the railroad track.
You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, that is two years ago on Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant. But Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the restaurant, in the bell tower with her husband Ray and Fascia the dog.

And living in the bell tower like that they got a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be, and having all that room, seeing as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time. We got up there and saw all the garbage and decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So we took the half a ton of garbage and put it in the back of a red VW microbus, took shovels, and rakes, and implements of destruction, and headed on toward the city dump.

Well we got there and there's a big sign and chain across the dump saying "Closed on Thanksgiving", and we had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage. We didn't find one ... till we came to a side road, and off the side of the side road was another 15 foot cliff, and at the bottom of the cliff was another pile of garbage, and we decided that one big pile was better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up, we decided to throw ours down. This is what we did.

Drove back to the church and had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning when we got a phone call from Officer Obie. He said "Kid, we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it..."

And I said "Yes sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope under that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about 45 minutes on the telephone, we finally arrived at the truth of the matter, and he said that we had to go down and pick up the garbage and also had to go down and speak to him at the police officer's station.

So we got into the red VW microbus with the shovels, and rakes, and implements of destruction, and headed on toward the police officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one of two things that Obie could have done at the police station, and the first was he could have give us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it, and the other thing was that he could have balled us out and told us never to be seen driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected.

But when we got to the police officer's station, there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested. Handcuffed.

And I said "Obie, I don't think I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on".

He said "Shut up kid. Get in the back of the patrol car." And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the quote, scene of the crime, unquote.

I want to tell you about the town of Stockbridge Massachusetts where this happened here. They got three stop signs, two police officers, and one police car. But when we got to the scene of the crime, there was five police officers and three police cars, being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it.

And they was using up all kinds of fancy cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station. They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and they took 27 8 by 10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, explaining what each one was, to be used a evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner, the southwest corner, and that's not to mention the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail, Obie said he was going to put us in the cell.

Said, "Kid I'm gonna put you in the cell. I want your wallet and your belt."

And I said "Obie I can understand you're wanting my wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want my belt for..?"

And he said "Kid, we don't want any hangings."

Said "Obie, did you think I was gonna hang myself for littering..?"

Obie said he was making sure, and friend that he has, he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown. And he took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars, roll out ... roll the toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll, and have an escape.

Obie was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice, remember Alice? There's a song about Alice. Alice came by, and with a few nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail. We went back to the church, had another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and didn't get up until the next morning when we all had to go to court.

[Por_sha911]

We walked in, sat down. Obie came in, with the 27 8 by 10 color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and sat down.

Man came in and said "All rise."

We all stood up, and Obie stood up with 27 8 by 10 color glossy pictures. And the judge walked in and sat down with the seeing eye dog, and he sat down.

We sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the 27 8 by 10 color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at the 27 8 by 10 color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and began to cry cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice and there wasn't nothing he could do about it. And the judge wasn't going to look at the 27 8 by 10 color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, explaining what each one was, to be used as evidence against us.

And we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but that's not what I came to tell you about. I came to talk about the draft.

They got a building down in New York City. It's called Whitehall Street, where you walk in and you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected, and selected. I went down and got my physical examination one day, and I walked in and sat down. Got good and drunk the night before so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. Because I wanted to look like the all American kid from New York City. Mean I wanted, ... I wanted to feel like, I wanted to be the All American kid from New York. And I walked in and sat down, and I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things, and I walked in, I sat down, and they gave me a piece of paper said "Kid, see the psychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, said "Shrink, I wanna kill. I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, KILL, KILL, KILL!!!!"

And I started jumping up and down yelling "KILL, KILL!!!" And he started jumping up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling "KILL, KILL!!!!" And the sergeant came over pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said "You're our boy." I didn't feel too good about it now.

I proceeded on down the hall getting more injections, inspections, detections, neglections, and all kinds of stuff that they was doing to me at the thing there.

And I was there for two hours, three hours, four hours. I was there for a long time, going through all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things, and I was just having a tough time there, and they was injecting, inspecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no part untouched.

I proceeded through and when I finally came to see the very last man, I walked in, walked in and sat down after a whole big thing there and I walked up and said "What do you want?"

And he said, "Kid, we only got one question...have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of Alice's Restaurant massacre with full orchestration and five part harmony, and stuff like that, and he stopped me right there and said "Kid, did you ever go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the 27 8 by 10 color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, he stopped me right there and said "Kid, I want you to go over and sit down on that bench that says Group W."

"NOW kid!"

And I, I walked over to the bench there, and there's Group W is where they where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the Army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers, father stabbers, and father rapers. FATHER rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me. And they was mean and nasty and horrible, and crime fighting guys was sitting there on the bench. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all was coming over to me, and he was mean and ugly and nasty and horrible, and all kinds of things, and he sat down next to me and said "Kid, what'd you get?"

I said "I didn't get nothing. I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage."

He said "What were you arrested for Kid?"

And I said "Littering."

And they all moved away from me on the bench there and gave me the hairy eyeball, and all kind of mean and nasty things, till I said "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench talking about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, and all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. And everything was fine, and we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the sergeant came over.

Had some paper in his hand. Held it up and said "Kids, this piece of paper's got 47 words, 37 sentences, 58 words, we want to know details of the crime, time of the crime, and any kind of thing you got to say pertaining to the crime, arresting officer's name, and every kind of thing you got to say...."

And he talked for 45 minutes, and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there, and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it down there just like it was. And everything was fine, and I put down the pencil and turned over the piece of paper, and there,... there on the other side, ... in the middle of the other side, ... away from everything else on the other side, ... in parentheses, ... capital letters, ... quotated, ... read the following words:

("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went over to the sergeant, and said "Sergeant, you've a lot of damn gall to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself. I mean, I MEAN, I MEAN I'm sitting here on the bench, I mean I'm sitting here on the Group W bench, cause you want to know if I'm moral enough to join the Army, burn women, kids, houses, and villages after being a litterbug.!!!"

And he looked at me and said "Kid, we don't like your kind. And we're going to send your fingerprints off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington, enshrined in some little folder is a study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation. Or you may be in a similar situation. And if you're in a situation like that, there's only one thing you can do ... walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in and say "Shrink, you can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant," and walk out.

You know if one person, just one person, does it, they may think he's really sick, and they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both ******s, and they won't take either one of them.

And if three people do it, three, can you imagine three people walking in, singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant, and walking out? They may think it's an organization.

And can you, can you imagine 50 people a day, I said 50 PEOPLE A DAY, walking in, singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant, and walking out. And friends, they may think it's a movement. And that's what it is. The Alice's Restaurant anti massacre movement. And all you've got to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar.

With feeling.

So we'll wait till it comes around on the guitar here, and sing it when it does.........

Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.
You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.
Walk right in, it's around the back.
Just a half a mile from the railroad track.
And you can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff, you gotta sing loud. You could put a lot ... I've been singing this song for 25 minutes, and I could sing it for another 25 minutes. I'm not proud. Or tired. So we'll wait till it comes around again, This time with four part harmony, and feeling.

We're just waiting for it to come around is what we're doing.

All right now?

You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.
(Excepting Alice).
You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.
Said, walk right in, it's around the back.
Just a half a mile from the railroad track.
And you can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.

Da, da, da, da, da, da, dum, at Alice's Restaurant......

Happy Thanksgiving

[Por_sha911]

Things I'm thankful for:
-My family (especially my darling wife of 34 years who has put up with me!)
-My faith in you-know-Who and all He has done for me
-The blessings in my life that are so many that all my gripes are First World Problems
-PPOT has an Ignore List for me to block trolls. I won't mention any names but the initials of one of them starts with "p" and ends with "e"

[sc_rufctr]

Happy Thanksgiving from Australia. Have a great day!

[Seahawk]

For the non-Parfers:

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Thanks, Reiver. My favorite holiday. Kids are both home all the old dames will be here soon.

I am straying out of the kitchen fray and it is too early to drink...

We will have our annual skeet shooting binge this afternoon bunch of guys coming over.

A little perspective on T-Day:

Abraham Lincoln and the “Mother of Thanksgiving” - History in the Headlines

Secretary of State William Seward wrote it and Abraham Lincoln issued it, but much of the credit for the proclamation should probably go to a woman named Sarah Josepha Hale. A prominent writer and editor, Hale had written the children’s poem “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” originally known as “Mary’s Lamb,” in 1830 and helped found the American Ladies Magazine, which she used a platform to promote women’s issues. In 1837, she was offered the editorship of “Godey’s Lady Book,” where she would remain for more than 40 years, shepherding the magazine to a circulation of more than 150,000 by the eve of the Civil War and turning it into one of the most influential periodicals in the country. In addition to her publishing work, Hale was a committed advocate for women’s education (including the creation of Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, New York), and raised funds to construct Massachusetts’s Bunker Hill Monument and save George Washington’s Mount Vernon estate.

Read the whole thing, it is pretty cool.

All the best.

[dan88911]

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Por_sha911

Things I'm thankful for:
....
-PPOT has an Ignore List for me to block trolls. I won't mention any names but the initials of one of them starts with "p" and ends with "e"

You have the Pope on ignore ?

Hope y'all are having a great one....it's been a most productive day for me....thanky, thanky, thanky!!!