Craig: ultimately it is up to you to decide how to direct the course of your life. No one can make decisions like this for you. "You have to want to change..." Maybe you're fine. I hope so. Just make sure.

Sometimes, I've been known to set the clock ahead......No judgement here, I've fought the demons at times.....Doing great for a long time since:

1) Retired (no stress), and
2) Knee replacement got rid of 15 years of constant pain......

People who are not alcoholics do not sit around, wondering whether they are alcoholics. It just never enters their mind. So that's one metric.

That said, there is no law against drinking if you are an alcoholic. It's what most alkies do. :)

There are millions of functioning alcoholics in this world. The Don Draper character on "Mad Men" is a classic alcoholic archetype. Highly successful, respected by colleagues and the public but behind the scenes at home, it's all a house of cards about to crater.

It can be tough for people to get really honest about this one, mostly because the treatment for it involves stopping drinking and that's a frightening prospect for an alcoholic. Booze might be your best friend, even if it's killing you and your relationships. Denial is a big component, you have to be aware of it and navigate that one somehow.

Lame AA joke: Two guys are at a wake for a young guy who died. One says,

"What happened?"

"He drank himself to death"

"Jesus...did he ever try AA?"

"No, he wasn't THAT bad.".

:D:D

My son is in the business of addiction research and intervention (Boston University Hospital). Addiction pros don't like assigning the term "alcoholic" to people, they use the term Alcohol Use Disorder because alcohol use comes in many flavors. "Alcoholic" is too binary. Alcohol use happens on a continuum from not at all to way too much and there is no specific point at which a user is defined as "alcoholic" on one side and "not alcoholic" on the other. Alcohol use that interferes with your life in a negative way (causing work, health, social, or legal problems) is a problem that needs to be addressed. People who experience the negative effects but continue to use alcohol anyway may be physically addicted, or it may be a habit, or they may just not care.

This is a web site his team created to offer people self-help.

https://www.rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/

Signs of an Alcohol Problem

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a medical condition that doctors diagnose when a patient’s drinking causes distress or harm. The condition can range from mild to severe and is diagnosed when a patient answers “yes” to two or more of the following questions.

In the past year, have you:

Had times when you ended up drinking more, or longer than you intended?
More than once wanted to cut down or stop drinking, or tried to, but couldn’t?
Spent a lot of time drinking? Or being sick or getting over the aftereffects?
Experienced craving — a strong need, or urge, to drink?
Found that drinking — or being sick from drinking — often interfered with taking care of your home or family? Or caused job troubles? Or school problems?
Continued to drink even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends?
Given up or cut back on activities that were important or interesting to you, or gave you pleasure, in order to drink?
More than once gotten into situations while or after drinking that increased your chances of getting hurt (such as driving, swimming, using machinery, walking in a dangerous area, or having unsafe sex)?
Continued to drink even though it was making you feel depressed or anxious or adding to another health problem? Or after having had a memory blackout?
Had to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want? Or found that your usual number of drinks had much less effect than before?
Found that when the effects of alcohol were wearing off, you had withdrawal symptoms, such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, irritability, anxiety, depression, restlessness, nausea, or sweating? Or sensed things that were not there?

If you have any of these symptoms, your drinking may already be a cause for concern. The more symptoms you have, the more urgent the need for change. A health professional can conduct a formal assessment of your symptoms to see if an alcohol use disorder is present. For an online assessment of your drinking pattern, go to RethinkingDrinking.niaaa.nih.gov.

What constitutes an alcoholic? Alcoholics go to meetings.

I'm a drunk - I don't do meetings.

This is a very slippery slope. There usually comes a time when that much alcohol leads to liver problems, diabetes, brain deterioration, heart disease, and an inability to simply tolerate that much alcohol without getting seriously trashed or suffering from deteriorating brain function. Usually, when alcohol starts to hit a person like that, that is the time when the person has the greatest compulsive need to keep drinking.

I used to think that an alcoholic was that guy on the street corner. My ex is dead. Her brother is dead, her parents, and most likely all the rest of her siblings. Lots of alcoholics make it to their 70s, but at some point it stops being fun. At a certain point, it becomes hard to figure out what you would do with that time if you were not drinking. But way before that, your addiction becomes a part of how you think. ''But I don't drink every day. I only occasionally black out. It's only beer. I can handle it.'' There are many more.

Most people with substance overuse problems don't quit until they are on their knees, precisely because they are addicted. When do you know when you are an alcoholic ? Usually way way after you become one, when every excuse or rationalization fails.

But the rub is, that even if you are an alcoholic, no one can tell you that you are an alcoholic. You have to figure that one out for yourself, and hopefully before there are lasting consequences. The thing is, that one can be a heavy drinker and not really be an alcoholic, but if one does it for long enough, eventually a very real line will be crossed, and one will become an alcoholic. There is no sign at the border, but it is very real.

People in programs often talk about hitting bottom. That low point is usually when they decide to stop drinking. Well, blacking out is a problem, and a kind of a bottom. But there is no limit to how deep a bottom can get. This is a very slippery slope. Be very, very careful how you look at this, because within 5 to 10 years, things might no be as fun or as pretty.

Like I said, most people don't admit they are alcoholics until everything else fails. Some try controlled drinking. That would be two beers. But most would say what is the point of drinking, if you are only going to have two. I would say in response, EXACTLY.

No one can decide this for you, but you can do something about it, as soon as you figure it out. Most need help, and some retain a rosy picture of drinking like it was the highlight of their existence. It's not. Maintenance drinking will kill you. There is no if about that, even if you can handle it. But if you are having blackout episodes, there is a good chance that you can't. You just can't tell.

Yet.

I really like you Bob. I hope this works out for you.

Add me to that list :)

LOTS of great advice in this thread Bob, and you're not gonna bs those of us who have walked the walk....do you want to change? if the answer is "yes", then maybe, just maybe, we here on PPOT can help you, if you want....but it's really all on you when all is said and done. Be well and best of luck...

Not to hijack, but on the same general theme:

Since I can remember I have had a glass of wine or two for dinner. Every day. Three months ago I ran out and was too lazy to get to the store and since then I have not had a drop. I don´t miss it. I don´t even Think about it. Come to Think of it, I have not gone this long without alcohol since I finished high school.

What bugs me is that I would have thought I should experience a wide Array of positive effects. Sleep, energy, etc etc. But nothing. No difference what so ever.

I am thinking of starting up the drinking again. At least it tastes and feels good.

disappointed..

I don't have an addictive personality so it is hard for me to understand how difficult it is to quit anything. But having a good friend that is an alcoholic does give me some insight as to how difficult the battle can be to quit. I admire all of you that have, or are trying, to quit.

You sound like a textbook alcoholic, Markus. We're all pulling for you, bro!

Thank you for the clarification, I hope Bob can use this information to from some kind of metric in defining his situation.

What I mean is, I don't think you have to hit bottom first to acknowledge to yourself that you might have a problem.

I have a friend which asked me if I thought a mutual friend was an alcoholic, I said no, but clarified that I thought his relationship with alcohol and his use/abuse of it was unhealthy. I will check out that link provided for sure.

On the up side, once you quit (from what I've seen) you will not want to sit and do nothing ever again. You may realize how much of your life was wasted just sitting sipping on beers and want to make up for lost time (paraphrasing an uncle).

People which have stopped drinking seem to have unlimited activities scheduled, be it work, exercise, recreation or all of the above.

My theory is to stay busy is to stay one step ahead of temptation, like an itch wanting to be scratched but only when you pause to think about it - just don't pause long enough.

The warped sense of humor of people which have stopped drinking is a curious thing, as if limits and barriers of appropriateness have been completely removed. Fun folk at times.

Good luck with this Bob, and please consider it priority project.

EDIT:
I should note that even though I have never had a drinking problem myself (weak stomach), my personal alcohol consumption has diminished down to one drink a week in a past year or so. I attribute this in part to the exercise routine and dietary changes I have been practicing for the last couple of years. See the exercise thread I started last year for more information.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/870610-exercise-thread.html

If you need to control your drinking...your drinking is out of control.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer

Sober 33 years now..one day at a time..

You live in the birthplace of AA.....now go to a meeting. You know you need to...just go. Shut up and listen, keep going back..

http://aaincantonohio.org/pdf/meeting_schedule.pdf

Good to know. PAA to the rescue. :)

Like everything in life, moderation is the key.

Can this be used as an excuse? Maybe, but what ever floats your boat.

I asked my doctor if I drank to much, and his question to me is do you crave a drink when you get up in the morning.

What constitutes an alcoholic?

Anyone who drinks more than their doctor.

Seriously though, a lot of these comments shock me as to frequency and quantity.

I guess I lead a sheltered life.

Same story for me. I think that back in my dad's day and before, there were a great many people who would be considered alcoholics by today's standards. It seemed that most everyone drank almost on a daily basis, so there were relatively few people around to pass judgement on anyone. Whenever my relatives or my dad's friends stopped by the house, the first order of business was to put a bottle of Four Roses on the table and open up some beers. And it was the same protocol anytime we visited someone elses house too. When I was little, I would stay with my grandparents from time to time and would see my grandmother pack a pint of whiskey in my grandad's lunch box every day. And there was always a pint bottle waiting for him on the kitchen table when he got home too.
I think that it's only been fairly recently that drinking like this has been recognized as a problem. Before that, it was just what people did.