Hilarious post on a pool website board
 

Originally Posted by Tramp Steamer View Post

A couple of years ago, at my local poolroom, one of the cute little waitresses put the word out that anyone who was willing to fork over five bucks could look up her dress.
Well, you all know me. I'd rather hear a fat girl fart than a pretty girl sing, so I hollered out, "Here's my five!"
Getting down on the floor is no mean task for a sixty-eight year old, but I managed to make it, and squirmed into position. I found myself sweating profusely. Probably from the anticipation of the wondrous things to come, but mostly from the exertion it took to get to where I was. I lay there motionless as she walked up and stood over me.
Looking up I could see only darkness. Along with the dim lights of the pool hall her long dress was obscuring the vision of that earthly delight that I had so willingly paid for. What would MacGyver do?
I thought for a moment Aha! I reached down and retrieved a penlight from my pocket. I had been keeping it there for several years in anticipation of this very moment. I switched it on and held my breath as the small ray illuminated the nether regions of her voluptuous lower half. I beheld the sensuality of her calves, the creamy smoothness of her gently sculpted thighs. The blueness of her denim cut-offs with the word "Sucker" emblazoned on her bottom.
Oh, the humanity.
I lay there for the longest time.
Seriously. I had to lay there until the Paramedics arrived. My back was out.
As I was being taken to the hospital I swear I could hear laughter coming from inside that dimly lit pool room.

Lol!