Should I send this text .
 

I had a customer loose his marbles on my yesterday , over nothing, and it was not my fault. I took care of the problem last night, and was wondering , gee ,what's up his arse.
He comes in this morning cheery as can be . We finished up our business, and bs'd for a little bit. He was super cool.
He gets on his phone, goes out to his car, and when he comes back, he cannot stop sniffling, and wiping his nose, and he is now super ancy. He started to sweat and get all irritated.
I've known this guy since he was probably 15. MId 30's now . I did work for his parents . I like him. He started a business, and he is successful, but on the go all day every day.
I recognize all the signs.
After he left I typed this text but did not send it yet.
" As a friend and an older guy who has been through it , and watched many others go through it, that stuff makes every thing better , till it makes it worse"
If I had to guess, he is probably right about at that part where he thinks he can hold it all together, but starting loose control .
Should I send it ??

Maybe call him, but not a text.

No.

This, obviously is having problems, but is it relationship? Business? Or something else?
IMHO better to talk to him and find out what is going on.

Let me add my wife loves to text, but it often leads to misunderstandings... they say communication is something like 20% words, 30% body language (or facial expression) 50% tone of voice (Those numbers are probably not exact but you get the idea).

No text. Call him.

Mid 30's, successful in semi rural PA, always on the go with a potential powder problem?

You are wasting your bandwidth on him. Ask his parents how he is doing.

Keep your nose out of it! :D

Don't send the text. If and only if you do this it should be face to face.

However, I'm with the others that say stay out. You said you've known him since age 15 but you did not say that you are very close friends. That is the key for me. Unless you have that close of a relationship I wouldn't go down that road.

The thing about texts are is they never disappear from record (admissable), and he could take it the wrong way through his altered mindset. Speaking to him in person, or on the phone will allow you to read the inflection in his voice/look in his eyes, to see if you are getting through to him, or possibly making him mad.

There was a reason I did not send it . I appreciate it , always smart advice here. I would say we are borderline buddies, but not close . I like the guy, he is a go getter, hopefully , he gets his scheiss together. He already has done pretty well for himself, got a heck of a biz going . Making the $. But you are right, not my biz, or my place....
Happy Friday

Do NOT send the text . With emotions scrambled, face to face communication is imperative.

The actual numbers, from a study by A. Mehrabian at UCLA are:
7% words
38% tone of voice and
55% body language , facial expression and eye contact.

All the best
Les

I would say - call him and just ask if he's OK - that you observed him out of character. Leave it at that. Last time I confronted a very close friend about his opiate( pills) addiction he became very angry.

Its like telling him you saw his wife, with another man at a motel, checking in. Doesn't matter that it's true - YOU will be the one he takes his anger out on even blaming you.

Net result is no one can ' talk' someone out of a problem like that. Ask me.

we suspect a drug problem? it makes you cry?

You're lucky, he has a chance.

My uncle was an absolute raging a-hole, constantly irritable, chip-on-his shoulder POS. And that was BEFORE he started snorting coke.

Interesting info. I had no idea the non-literal portion was 93%. I'll have to make youtubes of all my posts. We're gonna need more font colors than green, too.

Tell him that Dexatrim will help him fit into skinny jeans, but the weight always comes back.

Oh yes, and get paid upfront for doing any work for him.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Protect your franchise............. full stop.

100% spot on.

You made the right decision, Fred.

Proud of you, buddy.

Not just for making the correct decision not to send the text...but for caring so much.

You're a good dude..... SmileWavy

He's got a chip on his shoulder, and you don't want to be the nearest guy around when it eventually falls off.

I once had a nice tenant/chap staying with us. I'd bent over backwards to keep the place nice and gave him key to garage, let him store stuff free. Benefits etc. He locked himself out and kicked in the door. Oh well. Decent corporate guy otherwise and we were almost friends. Later he moved out into a (overpriced and bad investment) $400k house. la te da big shot guy. Before leaving he decided to kick in a few doors and walls and flip out on me a couple times on the phone. Alcohol and stress was involved I'm sure. I bit my tongue hard and performed impartial professional damage repair service at a fair lower than market rate.
He never apologized and I never learned what his personal beef with me was.
Can't do anything about it.
Don't know. Don't care.
Next in line please!

LOL

I see what ya did thar..;)

To quote the late, great, Gregg Allman (RIP)

....it just ain't my cross to bear

"The road to Hell...is paved with Good intentions "

Good on you for caring! But I agree with the others, stay out of it. That's a best friend or family conversation, not a "sort of friends" conversation.

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Send it. Why not? Would it make the situation any worse?

Just send it already.

The downside? Once it's sent, it's subject to the interpretation of the recipient.

The young man's boundaries/sensibilities have been altered.

I can picture the situation becoming worse.

I have felt with this, no text, let someone closer deal with it.
I know it sounds cold, but just bringing it up could blow up in your face.

I never did see anyone drop the dry goods until they were on their knees. It isn't ever really one of those take it or leave it deals, when people finally let go of it, there are claw marks where they tried to hold on.

I learned a long time ago to never send a text message I wouldn't say to someone's face. If you're able to say it to his face...don't text it? You've had a long relationship with him...meet up with him somewhere and say it.

Randy

That gave me the giggles.

But seriously STAY OUT OF IT. Crazy bastard might flip out and think all of his problems are your fault and come back with a gun.

Its up to you if you send it or not. I would call though.

Is reaching out to him consistent with your core values? Is so, do so.. If not, let it be...

It should be an easy answer for you as you know yourself. But I am sure it would not be great to learn it all went down hill for him and you said nothing...

Cheers

Face to face...... no text.

I respectfully disagree....it has nothing to do with "core values", and there's not a person here that wouldn't help a brother out....normally. Addicts are a different matter entirely however....btdt :(. No good deed goes unpunished....casual acquaintance...no way it goes well for the OP...imho.