Women Say X, Mean Y

[legion]

Hugh's thread got me thinking, women often say one thing and mean another.

Some examples:

"I'm fine." = "I'm not fine."

"I want to take a break." = "I've decided that we should break up, but I want some time to go out and find someone else before I commit to a breakup. If I'm unsuccessful, I may take you back for awhile until I do find someone else."

[Tervuren]

The ones that do it the worst, I find are attempting to translate feelings into rationalization. The underlying root is not something they think you are able to understand - it is getting "lost in translation".

There are some women I can detect in their tone when this "lost in translation is happening"; they know I want rationalization and are attempting to rationalize a non rational thought process. It becomes a lot easier to get along when you realize that is that they think you will be cold and uncaring to the truth that creates this situation.

It takes work once you recognize it, but you can sometimes get to the core that got lost in translation.

The real communication flaw that happens here is on both parts, the woman knowing from past experience the man will not be understanding of the root cause makes attempts to translate the root cause into something he can respect.

[scottmandue]

Also "what do you want to do for dinner"
Means - I know what I want for dinner but you have to make 1001 guesses before I tell you.

[Don Ro]

"I want to take a break." = "I've decided that we should break up, but I want some time to go out and find someone else before I commit to a breakup. If I'm unsuccessful, I may take you back for awhile until I do find someone else."
.
Most women that I've known like to keep their options open...sometimes indefinitely.
.
I used to tell women of this ilk about their "monkey bar" syndrome.
The monkey bars on a playground...
"You don't let go of one bar until you grasp the "next". "
.
Many women (unfortunately for us) are always looking to "upgrade".

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Sterling!!!

[Por_sha911]

Words Women Use

FINE: This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they believe that they are right but feel the need to shut you up. Never use FINE to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is about half an hour. It is equivalent to the FIVE MINUTES that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash so women feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING: If you ask her what is wrong and she says NOTHING, it means something and you should be on your toes. NOTHING is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has when wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards. NOTHING usually signifies an argument will last about FIVE MINUTES and end with FINE.

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare that will result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING, cause a FIVE MINUTE argument, and end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD (with normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care.” You will get a raised eyebrow “GO AHEAD” and then in just a few minutes it will be followed by NOTHING and FINE and she will talk to you in FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word but is still often a verbal statement that is very misunderstood by men. A LOUD SIGH means that she thinks you are an idiot at the moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over NOTHING.

SOFT SIGH: Again, not actually a word but a verbal statement. SOFT SIGHS are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. THAT’S OKAY means that she wants to think long and hard before paying back to you the retribution for whatever it is that you have done. THAT’S OKAY is often used with the word FINE and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow GO AHEAD. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble and she will want to tell you why for FIVE MINUTES.

WHATEVER: Is a woman's way of saying...Go to H_ll.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is a challenge. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth so be careful and you should be able to avoid getting a THAT’s OKAY.

THANKS: The woman is thanking you. Although this is a foreign concept to men, just say “you’re welcome”.

THANKS A LOT: This is much different from THANKS. A woman will say THANKS A LOT when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will be followed by the LOUD SIGH. ***Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the LOUD SIGH as she will only tell you NOTHING. If you persist, you will be will get the dreaded “THAT’S OKAY its NOTHING” which will culminate in a FIVE MINUTE argument that will end with (you guessed it) FINE.

[stomachmonkey]

A classic.

Never gets old.

[pdxfj]

Mgtow!

[sc_rufctr]

I'm old and over it... Women are just too much trouble. (Shakes fist)
I go on a date and if that leads to sex then that's good. If it doesn't, that's fine also.

What I've learned? If I shut my mouth they do the talking for both of us! (Think about it. How often has your mouth got you in to trouble?)

Women around my age get it. They like sex as much as we do but it still has to be special in some way. More recently I've found that some of the sexiest women I've encountered are post menopause. They seem different to the younger hormone driven version. More "likable" I guess. I never expected this.

[Don Ro]

I've was on Match.com twice 6 yrs. ago.
One of many things I noticed when speaking on the phone for the first time with women was how they love to answer questions.
They do all the talking...in great detail, mostly...as if they have something to explain. The old saying, "Ask what time it is and be told how to build a clock."
After 1/2 hour or so, when I'd notice this, I'd finally ask, "Is there anything about me that you'd like to know?"
On more than one occasion, they'd get pissed. I supposed it was that they were embarrassed and just put that off on me.
.
I agree...lately, at times, I think that it's just not worth it.

[sammyg2]

The worst thing that can happen to a man is hearing the words .... "we need to talk".

If you ever hear those words, shut up. Don't say a word. Not a peep. Nothing.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

The worst thing that can happen to a man is hearing the words .... "we need to talk".

If you ever hear those words, shut up. Don't say a word. Not a peep. Nothing.

My ex wife said this to me and three months later we were separated which lead to the divorce.
Looking back IMO she had made her mind up long before she uttered those words.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

What I've learned? If I shut my mouth they do the talking for both of us! (Think about it. How often has your mouth got you in to trouble?)

LOL! LOT'S of times.

"You never talk. Why are you so quiet?"
I try to say something innocuous.
"How could you say such a thing?!"

I've gotten a lot of crap from my ex and my wife for being quiet. Silence is a survival response learned from years of experience.

[Gogar]

I think I've got the time thing nailed down.

If she says ANY AMOUNT less than an hour you double it. "15 minutes" = half an hour. "45 minutes" means 90 minutes.


Any time OVeR an hour you just add an hour. "90 minutes" = 2.5 hours.

[wdfifteen]

I think we've been over this one before. A common exchange in my house:

"Are you ready to leave?"
"Yes. I just have to finish my hair and find my shoes."
"Then no, you aren't ready."
"Yes. No."

[Crowbob]

It's always about the nail.

As in 'I'd nail it.'

[Don Ro]

Came by to pick up my g/f...an agreed upon time. She excused herself and went upstairs to do something....tick tock, tick, tock.
I waited 10 min's. I hollered up to her, "I'm leaving."
Did I catch hell?!!!
3 yrs. ago and when things get a little edgy, I still hear about that episode.
.
However, from then on...when I come by to collect her she comes out before I shut off the engine.
Hmmmm.........

[doug_porsche]

There are two ways to argue with a woman.

Neither one works.

[KFC911]

I'm LOL and nodding my head in agreement on every post....but...

If there was ever a PPOT thread that needs one of our 3-4 female Pelicans input.. it's this one !

[JossP80]

Ok, I'll chime in.

I find it fascinating how men have such a difficult time understanding women. Sure, there's a beauty in the simplicity with which men seem to communicate, I'll give you that. I just don't find this "code" with which men believe women speak to be difficult to interpret.

Many have already nailed down the interpretation! Women are consistent in their messaging. "Fine" means "not fine"; "fine-fine" means fine.

So, you're wondering "But why does there have to be interpretation?" I mean, does the reason really matter? It just is.

You're welcome.