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Double Trouble
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 11,705
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ex-wife dying
Looks like my ex won't live through the day. We've been divorced 35 years. NEVER been friendly and haven't even spoken in 20+ years. I have two adult children ages 40 and 38 by her that I have a great relationship with and always have. When I got the news from my daughter that the ex was dying i thought i should go to whatever service they have for her as a show of support for my kids (?) but now I'm thinking they are adults, it's their side of this family, and I really have no reason to butt in. I'm thinking stay home. Send a card. What do you all think?
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey..........but I turned myself around.. 75 914 1.8 2010 Cayenne base Last edited by targa911S; 08-24-2017 at 02:00 PM.. |
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08-22-2017, 05:39 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Twin Cities
Posts: 748
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You should be there to give support to the ones you love.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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08-22-2017, 05:44 AM
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?
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 30,441
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Ask your kids...they will let you know.
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08-22-2017, 05:44 AM
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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Wow - such a very strange situation. On one hand you hated the women (and most likely wished her harm - only natural) and the other she is the mother of your kids so there is a certain amount of respect that has to be shown for the sake of social position - and make no mistake, we are social animals and as distasteful as it may be, we have to act accordingly in certain situations. Its the fabric of society.
If it was me I wouldn't go, but I would send a thoughtful card to the kids. Or at least a call.
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Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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08-22-2017, 05:45 AM
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83 911 Production Cab #10
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Quote:
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Who Will Live... Will See  83 911 Production Cab #10, Slightly Modified: Unslanted, 3.2, PMO EFI, TECgt, CE 911 CAM Sync / Pulley / Wires, SSI, Dansk Sport 2/2, 17" Euromeister, CKO GT3 Seats, Going SOK Super Charger |
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08-22-2017, 05:46 AM
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The Unsettler
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lantanna TX
Posts: 23,885
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Go.
I assume they are acutely aware of your feelings for your ex. Your kids are adults and should be very capable of handling this without you attending. By going you are telling your kids, "Regardless of the situation and whether you need me or not I will always be there for you"
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"I want my two dollars" "Goodbye and thanks for the fish" "Proud Member and Supporter of the YWL" "Brandon Won" |
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08-22-2017, 05:54 AM
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Double Trouble
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 11,705
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hmmmmm.
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey..........but I turned myself around.. 75 914 1.8 2010 Cayenne base |
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08-22-2017, 06:00 AM
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a.k.a. G-man
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,614
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Go for you kids, if they need you there.
No harm in asking them about it. I'm sure they understand the akwardness for you. How about your Ex's relatives? Do they hate your guts too? Another reason not to go nor send a card. Support for the ones you love, yes. The rest?, not worth the hassle, IMO.
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Сидеть, ложь, Переворачиваться |
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08-22-2017, 06:03 AM
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Back in the saddle again
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Central TX west of Houston
Posts: 55,932
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I presume the kids know about the relationship that you had. I would think that it would be weird to go to the service. I don't think that you need to go unless one of them asks you to go, but you could always ask them if they would like you to go.
My wife also says that you should stay home.
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Steve '08 Boxster RS60 Spyder #0099/1960 - never named a car before, but this is Charlotte. '88 targa  SOLD 2004 - gone but not forgotten
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08-22-2017, 06:04 AM
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Back in the saddle again
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Central TX west of Houston
Posts: 55,932
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Quote:
I would assume that the kids would understand.
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Steve '08 Boxster RS60 Spyder #0099/1960 - never named a car before, but this is Charlotte. '88 targa SOLD 2004 - gone but not forgotten
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08-22-2017, 06:05 AM
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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Quote:
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Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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08-22-2017, 06:12 AM
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Almost Banned Once
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Adelaide South Australia
Posts: 38,343
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I'd go... That's it.
Stand with your kids and be solemn.
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- Peter |
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08-22-2017, 06:14 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 3,516
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would you want her at your funeral?
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1980 911SC Targa 3.6L |
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08-22-2017, 06:24 AM
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Super Moderator
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Quote:
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Chris ---------------------------------------------- 1996 993 RS Replica 2023 KTM 890 Adventure R 1971 Norton 750 Commando Alcon Brake Kits |
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08-22-2017, 06:24 AM
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?
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 30,441
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I still say ask your kids. Everyone is different....personally, I like to grieve alone, though I have a huge extended family and I KNOW they're behind me 100%. Your kids know it too...ask 'em.
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08-22-2017, 06:24 AM
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Registered
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Quote:
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08-22-2017, 06:25 AM
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I see you
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: NJ
Posts: 29,891
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Quote:
But show up as someone showing respect for the mother of your children not for your ex.
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Si non potes inimicum tuum vincere, habeas eum amicum and ride a big blue trike. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." |
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08-22-2017, 06:27 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 2,354
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A few years ago a friend of mine here in MS travelled with his then current wife to KS for the funeral of his ex wife.
He had a heart attack and died at the service. |
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08-22-2017, 06:28 AM
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(the shotguns)
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 21,613
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my mother and I attended my estranged fathers funeral.
I last saw/spoke to him around the time I was in kindergarten. with one exception. when I was graduating from high school I looked his number up and called him. he first asked why I was calling then proceeded to spend 15 minutes telling me how great his two kids (not me) are and how he had just built a computer with his son. that was it. no 'my god how have you been' or 'lets get together'. hadn't talked to the man since I was kindergarten aged. so, I moved on. not quite 10 years later a neighbor knocked on our door to tell me my father had died. neighbor knew my last name and assumed I must be related to the woman she worked with who's brother in law had just died. when she asked her coworker if she was related to me the woman, whom I've never met, admitted she was my aunt and her husband was my fathers brother. so this neighbor decides she should let me know. these people lived a bike ride away from me for years and never felt moved to contact me. my mother and I attended the funeral. it was a surreal experience walking into a room full of people I've never met yet many of whom seemed to know who I was. I behaved as SC_rufctr suggested. Listened to how he was a great family man who gave so much of his time to his kids. Listened to how his kids will miss him so much. Listened to his widow, who remembered me visiting as a little boy, tell me how he never forgot me and always knew where I was. It was insulting to say the least. But again, as SC_Ruf and others have suggested you go not for the departed (man I love that movie) but for those left behind.
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***************************************** Well i had #6 adjusted perfectly but then just before i tightened it a butterfly in Zimbabwe farted and now i have to start all over again! I believe we all make mistakes but I will not validate your poor choices and/or perversions and subsidize the results your actions. |
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08-22-2017, 06:30 AM
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Misunderstood User
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Support your kids. Ask them - If it was me, I would go.
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Jim 1983 944n/a 2003 Mercedes CLK 500 - totaled. Sanwiched on the Kennedy Expressway |
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08-22-2017, 06:32 AM
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Das Babe
Das Babe Metalberiech
1970 Porsche 911 S 
