Interpreting human noises
 

I was listening to a neighbors kid going out with a babysitter wandering on the sidewalk and she made a "ahh-hua-hua-hua" sound and then a pause.
I swear she was going to burst into full fledged crying mode but it turned into a quiet laugh and giggle.
I was fooled.

Same with adult women....That little scream. You know that one.
Did she just step on a nail?
About to crash the car?
In the middle of getting her cervix unfolded?
Or just saw her BFF clad in the latest fashionable garment with new hairstyle to match.

The noises sometimes sound the same. Why is that?

I can't seem to find my Peterson's Field Guide to Female Humans at the moment but I seem to recall their sounds are undecipherable. This complicates the understanding of their behaviors which are also undecipherable.

Males also have a "hgnnnn" for stifling hearty guffaws in polite company upon hearing tawdry witticism, picking up a log, or dropping one, or when unleashing the swarm of mini me's.

The expression of pain can be inter-mixed with those of other emotions.

I've noticed the older I get, the more noise I make when getting out of a chair, or off of the floor....mainly grunting, gutteral sounds.

and farting!

I believe this is due to the shape of female words being incompatible with the shape of male ears.

My opinion: the female speech pattern is very similar to the teacher in the Charlie Brown comics . As males we can/do hear certain aspects but it's along the lines of " you want some sex " or " it's steak and BJ day " or " you still want that three way " :D But most female conversations fall into the Charlie Brown teacher " wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk " that only dogs can decipher :rolleyes: I'm truly amazed that I will be married to the same woman this June for 40 years ! SmileWavy

Here is another one:
The fat red lips, the blue eye shadow, the rosy cheeks...she looks like she's just been physically assaulted.
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1518109218.jpghttp://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1518109233.jpg

But not all the silence sounds the same, think about that for a moment. ;)