Coding Humor
 

Came across this in some java code today:

public void meLoveYou(long time){
}

I have a UDP joke, but you probably wouldn't get it.

One of my colleagues and I have a running contest to see who can slip the most absurd parameter or method names past our review process. She recently put in parameter called 'which_one' that is a boolean operator. I put in a method that counts daemon processes called 'time_to_count_zee_daemons'.

A QA engineer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Then he orders 0 beers
Then he orders -1 beers
Then he orders 32769 beers
Then he orders asdf beers

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

A wife asked her coder husband to go to the store to by milk. And, she said, if they have eggs, by a dozen. He came home with 12 gallons of milk. Why did you by 12 gallons of milk, she asked. Because they had eggs, he replied.

Having played online games using UDP, I think you are right.

Hah!

In the world of Gas Turbine Controls programming, the IEEE designation for cranking motor is "CR". I was re-programming the control system to control the turbine startup acceleration based on the motor power based on the motor current. The analog control parameter was:

CRAMPS

And since 1992, it is still there.

Do gas turbines get moody and randomly shut down for a few days a month too?

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

B4i4qru/18qtπ ?

Returns nothing.
Poor investment...

Along this same line... A good friend of mine works for the Chicago water reclamation system. (aka toilet water)... Over certain aeration areas they collect off-gassing to burn to get rid of the smell.

The resulting air goes through a pipe to the plant. The engineers that designed this system named it the Foul Air Recovery Tube knowing that all pipes are labeled with abbreviations. So through at least one Chicago plant - there is a pipe labeled F.A.R.T. running through it carrying sewer gas.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

To be fair, I did remove the contents of the method. ;)

Office work is like using using the restroom. It ain't over until the paperwork is done.