Happy Valentine's Day

[varmint]

Los Angeles 1998

Me and about ten other losers are standing in line at the flower shop. The sun is going down, and there's a feeling of desperation and impatience. We shuffle forward slowly. Why does this holiday always sneak up on me?

The owner's chihauhua trots out from behind the counter. He walks along the line of customers, giving each one a casual sniif. Eventualy he makes his way to the eight foot high pyramid a teddy bears in the corner. He bites one around the neck and drags it out to the center of the shop. We all watch in silence as he proceeds to hump the bejeezus out of the bear. Five minutes, ten minutes, time seems to slow as he goes to town on the stuffed animal. The store owner gets up with a grunt. Walks over to the dog... "Bad Pepe. A thousand times I tell you no!" she picks up the teddy bear, having to peel the dog off like a banana, and stuffs it back in the pyramid.

Some girl got the best Valentine's Day present ever.

[WPOZZZ]

^^Hahahahaha! I went to my electrophysiologist today and got a Valentine's Day present. I was put on a heart monitor for a week. It is wireless and I peel it off in a week and mail it in to the company. Pretty cool and way better than a Holter monitor. However, the gf said no nookie until that thing comes off.

[LakeCleElum]

Learned a little lesson today:

Bought her flowers the day yesterday and left them in the car outside to not spoil the surprise.....Temps got into the teens.......Frozen flowers look like hell, even after thawed out.......I can't win....