Foot-In-Mouth disease

[john70t]

My Brain:
Hey it's a nice sunny day. Great to take care care of a little business and clean up a bit at the rental. Gonna go get lunch and take the dog to the park next. Make it all look nice for the tenants. Looking nice.

Oh hey there is a nice motorcycle parked in the drive. It would drive nice touring or off-roading. Much better than either my old bikes. It's actually not parked in a designated spot and probably belongs to a friend of a tenant instead of a neighbor. Cool looking and has all the accessories such as multiple carrying cases and crash guards but maybe it needs heated grips and guards.

Hmm....that's a nice fat chain but it doesn't look right.
Nope not right at all.
Oh it's got freaking rust on it!!! Big rust spots of rust for such a new machine.
Zero lube on that chain.
And it is fully laying on top of a guide underneath. It must have some major slack and is slapping the guide or frame every time he lets off the gas.

He must have noticed by now. Shouldn't he? It would be very obvious.
That will eventually wear through something and probably snap or catch the chain on the highway at 100mph and lock the rear wheel up and kill him. I should probably warn him. Here comes the lady carrying a basket. Her hair is messy. Must have woken up late.

"Excuse me I couldn't help noticing rust on this motorcycle chain..."
(She gives me an ice melting glare.)

Tenants brain:
I'm off work finally. It's a weekend. My friend is over and we just did the nasty. Have to get laundry. There is my weirdo landlord. He is yelling at me about motorcycle chains or something. WTH.

(edit: changed spacing to make more readable)

[Bugsinrugs]

Tenants are a different breed of human. Probably didn't recognize you.

[kach22i]

John, don't interfere with nature, someone is waiting for those organs of hers.

[john70t]

Yeah some of the medical people call those things 'donor mobiles'.

I don't want to see any loss of personal revenue stream.
Or know anyone went through an avoidable accident.

[tcar]

Originally Posted by john70t

Yeah some of the medical people call those things 'donor mobiles'....

Uhhh.. "donorCYCLES"...

[David]

The best part about getting old is that I quickly forget when I say something I regret. Unfortunately I remember that stupid thing I said 30 years ago.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Originally Posted by john70t

[u]

Tenants brain:

I'm off work finally. It's a weekend. My friend is over and we just did the nasty. Have to get SOME REDBULL, WHISKEY, AND A HOME PREGNANCY TEST KIT. OH- There is my NOSEY PESKY SOB MEDDLING weirdo landlord WHO IS SPYING ON ME ACTING LIKE HE IS TRYING TO "FIX THE PLACE UP". He is yelling at me about motorcycle chains or something ACTING LIKE HE IS ALL COOL WITH MY BOYFRIEND'S MOTORCYCLE, WHEN IN REALITY HE IS MAD THE BIKE IS PARKED THERE. PASSIVE AGGRESIVE SOB. I PAY THE BILLS- HE NEEDS TO F#@ OFF. OH CRAP I NEED TO CLEAN THE BLOW OFF THE COFFEE TABLE. WTH.

[john70t]

Almost a perfect picture leaky. lol. (especially: "I PAY THE BILLS- HE NEEDS TO F#@ OFF".)

Except I try to deal with doctors and more established types.
Tenants smarter than myself.
Things go much smoother when I'm not in charge. Ya dig mane?

[Jims5543]

One of the reasons I love this show is because Larry is my father, no filter. It is hilarious watching him do what he does. Or horrifying would be a better description.