Is conflict resolution an important topic in today's society?

[Baz]

Seems to be a lot of conflict in today's world.

What are your thoughts on whether we should emphasize resolution of conflict as part of a young person's education?

Those with children....have you taught this to your children?

Are schools doing this?

How?

I spent a few years in corporate sales and was very fortunate the company that I worked for worked hard at developing "people skills" in it's sales force. How to remove the ego, stay humble, and work towards collaboration - not competition.

Thoughts?

[masraum]

I guess I'm good at conflict resolution because I've never been in a fight and I don't often get into conflicts, but I haven't had any conflict resolution training and I'm not sure that I could tell anyone else how to do it.

It certainly sounds like a worthwhile endeavor though.

[Noah930]

Today's "conflict resolution" is to file a formal complaint, and let the process/system work its way through.

[mreid]

There is no such thing as conflict resolution, but there is conflict management. Part of the problem in society today is we try to resolve all conflict through the lens of our personal values and then wonder why it doesn’t work. Conflict is easier to manage when you realize that not everyone shares the same moral compass and you can come to a mutual understanding without haveing to challenge the fundamental belief base of your opponent.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Interesting topic. I was in a meeting today, which emphasized that "conflict avoidance" can be be even more detrimental to team direction than the conflict itself.

Pretty obvious, but good to hear anyway.
Screw you all!

[Bill Douglas]

I used to do kick boxing and street fighting as a hobby. Which is quite strange for an unassuming quite spoken sort of a guy. I see myself as the mouse that roars. So I don't do conflict resolution, but rather throw fuel on the fire. All in the interests of a good time.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by mreid

There is no such thing as conflict resolution, but there is conflict management.

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

I used to do kick boxing and street fighting as a hobby. Which is quite strange for an unassuming quite spoken sort of a guy. I see myself as the mouse that roars. So I don't do conflict resolution, but rather throw fuel on the fire. All in the interests of a good time.

Actually, it sounds like you did a lot of "conflict resolution" and maybe a little conflict management. You just didn't do any conflict avoidance.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by mreid

There is no such thing as conflict resolution, but there is conflict management. Part of the problem in society today is we try to resolve all conflict through the lens of our personal values and then wonder why it doesn’t work. Conflict is easier to manage when you realize that not everyone shares the same moral compass and you can come to a mutual understanding without having to challenge the fundamental belief base of your opponent.

I have to disagree with your part that I bolded.

Not EVERYONE does this.

I also feel there are many conflicts that are resolved, if handled the right way.

Not all....and I think THAT was the point you were trying to make.

[Tobra]

Actually Baz, Mr Reid has given us an excellent description of American foreign policy for the last 100 years

[asphaltgambler]

Originally Posted by mreid

There is no such thing as conflict resolution, but there is conflict management. Part of the problem in society today is we try to resolve all conflict through the lens of our personal values and then wonder why it doesn’t work. Conflict is easier to manage when you realize that not everyone shares the same moral compass and you can come to a mutual understanding without haveing to challenge the fundamental belief base of your opponent.

^^^^^ Right on target^^^^best answer ever......

[Tervuren]

I point things out sometimes here or there.

My first step is to decide if I can find a way to solve it that doesn't involve changing another person.

I then way the cost of those potential ways.

Then I look at what I would need to change about the other person.

I then way the cost of those potential changes.

After this I decide how worth it trying to change them vs trying to change the situation without affecting them.

Sometimes I can come up with something that solves the issue without having to go to another person.

I do not like superseding the person I have conflict with by going to another person first.

I'm not really certain it is something that can be "taught", it has to be learned. A mentor skilled in taking other people's views and thinking into mind is helpful in learning, or at least if not in learning in providing direction.

I observe that people have a default of complaining to someone not involved. This does not solve anything at all about the issue.

A semi-truck was pulled across a drive way at work.

All the guy needed to do to get out was talk to the semi-truck driver to back up a few feet.

Instead the co-worker spent 25 minutes talking to different people in the office complaining.

Finally someone in the office walked and asked the truck driver to back up a few feet.

The guy complaining could have done that. I suggested it to him the moment he complained to me. Yeash.

[oldE]

In schools children are not allowed to resolve their conflicts. A teacher or playground supervisor immediately intervenes. The children have no chance to develop the skill.

Best
Les

[RSBob]

Conflict resolution is and always will be important. I sincerely believe that conflict resolution is not always appropriate when we are talking about potential school shooters. There are many more factors at play. Should kids be taught this skill? Absofreekingloutely. This should be a life skill everyone is taught.

When I worked in corporate consulting I was always assigned to handle conflicts between warring departments and individuals. I learned that most conflict stemmed from (news flash) lack of effective communication, rumor, innuendo and playing fast and loose with the facts.

The process to resolve was the same for both individuals and groups. Had to stress that everyone was on the same team working for the same goals. I’ll just say to save time it took 4 steps and a couple of follow-ups in case anyone regressed. Sounds like Shock-Shadel Hospital now that I think about it. People and depts have much more in common and common interests and those are what I focus on after the lies and misconceptions and sometimes a little house cleaning takes place. It’s like couples therapy for companies and borrows the same principles including something lacking in today’s culture, agreed compromise.

Schools are not teaching this necessary skill. But they damn well should to resolve a whole host of life issues in the class as well as relationships and later work life.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

^^^^^ Right on target^^^^best answer ever......

It is a load of shyte.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by tabs

It is a load of shyte.

War is conflict resolution.

My head shrink friend told me a long long time ago that what I do is resolve conflicts.

[Superman]

Originally Posted by Baz

Seems to be a lot of conflict in today's world.

What are your thoughts on whether we should emphasize resolution of conflict as part of a young person's education?

Those with children....have you taught this to your children?

Are schools doing this?

How?

I spent a few years in corporate sales and was very fortunate the company that I worked for worked hard at developing "people skills" in it's sales force. How to remove the ego, stay humble, and work towards collaboration - not competition.

Thoughts?

I am a labor relations guy in the construction industry. I have some thoughts. Unfortunately after reading the first four posts, late on a Friday night, this is all I got.

Yes, conflict resolution is important. And, these days, apparently rare.

Originally Posted by masraum

I guess I'm good at conflict resolution because I've never been in a fight .....

Then you might be good at it. Part is skill, and part is talent.

Originally Posted by mreid

There is no such thing as conflict resolution.....

Untrue. In fact, there is always resolution. Eventually. Either through negotiations between the parties (where both get what they need) or, after both sides are damaged by prolonged conflict, détente. Which is resolution.

[Superman]

Originally Posted by Tervuren

A semi-truck was pulled across a drive way at work.

All the guy needed to do to get out was talk to the semi-truck driver to back up a few feet.

Instead the co-worker spent 25 minutes talking to different people in the office complaining.

Finally someone in the office walked and asked the truck driver to back up a few feet.

The guy complaining could have done that. I suggested it to him the moment he complained to me. Yeash.

Yup. It boils down to simple communication. Getting the parties to talk. Which is not hard. They are angry. They have plenty to say. And yet, it's as easy as getting them to talk. Directly. I've tried mediation at times, and I'm not a fan. The parties need to be in the same room, face to face. If they can't do it now, then wait until they can.

[Bill Douglas]

When I was a computer center manager I occasionally would get a call. "The computers are going wrong, every thing about them is wrong, we can't do any work." Sometimes their big boss passed the message onto my boss and he called me.

I would meet with them and say "This is very serious and important that we put it right. Lets detail each and every problem and address each one seperately." Me pen in hand and listening intently.

There was no problem. They had nothing specific to complain about other than being unhappy with life. Just a pack of morons who couldn't do their job and blamed the computers because it was an easy scapegoat, something less measurable.

So I'd produce a report for my boss and their boss, saying specifically what their complain was, what the situation is, basically just a polite way to say get f****d

[Tervuren]

Originally Posted by RSBob

Schools are not teaching this necessary skill. But they damn well should to resolve a whole host of life issues in the class as well as relationships and later work life.

I would think it is better learned outside of school. Parents, first job as a teenager, etc...

School tends to suppress creativity by its very nature, so dealing with somethings that requires creating a solution isn't the ideal place.

[tabs]

The basis of what I do is conflict resolution. The continual resolution of my own internal conflicts is what gives me the ability to clearly define situations. I have done it for so long that there aren't any real internal conflicts left. The doors have been blown off and the road is wide open where I can focus on the road.

When I am faced with a situation I just know how to approach it to maximize my outcome. I can just see outcomes as you can plot the trajectory of a bullet or a rocket. Sometimes outcomes are just not so swell.

When you are sitting on the edge of a precipice you too would start to act squirelley. I find the scope of your definitions of conflict resolution to be parochialy narrow. When you are struggling with your own internal demons aka conflicts which you all have there is a resolution to them. Deciding what you want to eat for dinner is a conflict. Hamburger or pizza?