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onewhippedpuppy 05-23-2018 07:23 AM

I see the "parent as a friend" problem with moms and dads, just depends on the situation. I hope my kids still like me when they are adults, but first priority is pushing them to become the best people possible and preparing them for life.

Wetwork 05-23-2018 07:29 AM

Divorce is a tuffy...What parent who doesn't see their kids as often wouldn't want to have fun with them, to make the few visit's extra happy instead of just regular day or weekend? Doesn't matter if its the Mom or Dad. So that causes problems.

The only reason I mentioned a word is I'm twice divorced, and have seen the helicopter mom syndrome in full action. Life's tough and weird. Damn those "Gilmore Girls :)-WW

Don Ro 05-23-2018 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vash (Post 10046217)
kudos to your family.

but i think this is a vastly different topic altogether.

First thing I thought of upon reading your post was...
This kid very well could be a future constituent of the DNC.
.
As a kid I never got an allowance, not one penny. Shoveled snow in winter for ten cents and mowed and raked lawns in the summer...lucky day when I got a quarter.
No wonder I owned my own successful business in CA for 34 years.
There's been a parenting crisis in this country for decades.
The role of a parent is to model, not to teach. We come into this life with two main questions: Who am I? and How do I do this?
When those are not answered, there is lack of development.
Now, as you were. ;)

Don Ro 05-23-2018 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by masraum (Post 10046261)
Great story with a funny ending. Kudos to him for getting his schit together, but not for missing the fact that if his parent's hadn't done that, he probably wouldn't be where he is today. If that had been me, I'd certainly look back and would be thanking my parents if I were him.

He may have eventually gotten his crap together anyway, but he'd have started out much later which would probably have made a big difference in so many ways.

My opinion also.

Don Ro 05-23-2018 08:34 AM

^^^
My ex fiance had an affair...it set my alarm clock. I realized that I was a relationship dumb cluck. Spent a good 8 years reading, listening, and learning.
What she did was the single defining moment in my life.
BTW, she hated hearing that.

Crowbob 05-23-2018 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Don Ro (Post 10047298)
First thing I thought of upon reading your post was...
This kid very well could be a future constituent of the DNC.
.
As a kid I never got an allowance, not one penny. Shoveled snow in winter for ten cents and mowed and raked lawns in the summer...lucky day when I got a quarter.
No wonder I owned my own successful business in CA for 34 years.
There's been a parenting crisis in this country for decades.
The role of a parent is to model, not to teach. We come into this life with two main questions: Who am I? and How do I do this?
When those are not answered, there is lack of development.
Now, as you were. ;)

I disagree with your model/teach paradigm. For one thing, modeling is teaching. Noncustodial dad's are pretty much forced into the modeling mode simply by virtue of the limited hours available to their kids. Sitting there doing homework takes a back seat to cleaning the house, treating people with respect, being reliable, consistent and fair (as in just vs unjust) and fixing a faucet but they are all teaching.

'As far as 'life' goes, Who am I?' and 'How do I do this?' questions come way after 'Where is my food?' type questions. At that age they don't want answers. They want food.


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