Funny new 911 owner story!

[bigchillcar]

He's going to kill me for this after he joins the board and reads it, but its just too funny to pass up!

My buddy bought a gold '74 Targa, same color as my '74 coupe, a couple months ago and has been steadily learning about the car as we all did when we caught the fever. He called the other night to report trouble: the car will crank, but won't start. He's tried everything he can think of and told me he was going to bite the bullet and have it towed to a local Porsche mechanic.

Well, no true seasoned Pelicanite is going to let that happen to a friend without lending his help first, right? So, I drop in and see the car for the first time. Nice-looking, but needing little things here and there...hand throttle's plastic fulcrum down in the tunnel was broken off notably one of these projects. If you've owned a '74 you know how important this thing is until it warms up. Anyway, I did a quick kind of around the car, familiarizing check looking at all fuses and relays, air filter (nasty), checked points (has 'ignitor'), an RCA ignition box (never seen that one?)...loud fuel pump. So I crawl underneath and try tapping on it while in 'run', no change in sound.

I get to thinking...I go inside and check out a dash gauge (hint: little orange light)...then I ask him if he has any spare gas. He says yes and brings it to me. I ask him to pour some into his tank. He obliges but doesn't look convinced. I get inside and turn the key to 'on' and sit there for a full minute or so listening to that loud fuel pump...all of a sudden the pitch changes to a gurgle. I turn the key and we're running! Now I ask you...would your shop mechanic ever let you live that one down!

I am now officially a Porsche guru! He's going to join the board and I've told him he has to call himself 'nogas' or some such thing. Don't you think? He's a great guy and I look forward to everyone welcoming him (and ribbing him)! All in good fun!
Ryan

[Emission]

Great story.

Most likely all of us have an embarassing "ran out of gas" story to tell (maybe another thread...).

Looking forward to the post from "NoGas"!

[Adam]

nogas is a good name!

Good story, Ryan.

[Paul Franssen]

Well, I'd had my Carrera for a while and she'd always started fine when, one day, she just cranked and cranked and cranked but ...no engine would run. Got me real worried, since I was supposed to be off to somewhere and a last second cancellation would be a minor disaster. After a lot of worrying and scratching my scalp, I tried to recall my "last actions" with the car, further to which -more in desperation than anything else- I tried the little key that fits the keyhole near the latch (or whatever it is called) inside the driver's door. Sure enough: fired up immediately. I'd forgotten all about having fiddled around with that key, little knowing it switches off some engine-firing spark.
In a separate incident, at some later date, the alarm system wouldn't act up as usual, i.e. it seemed not to work (the car'd just been to a workshop). So I went back there and told 'em about it. Guy opens up the luggage compartment, and activates a toggle-swith on the boxlike alarm sounder in the boot/trunk: done.
There's any number of lil' things can make a man's life miserable...

[expat]

Great story Ryan.

He must log in as NOGAS I guess but I can't help but laugh. Sounds like he might have had flatulance problems at some stage.

Maybe DRYAS or NOFUEL would be better

Thanks for the smile on a Friday afternoon.

Cheers
Mark

[HarryD]

BTDT,

I had my P-car for about 3 weeks.

Went to my first PCA event, a Tech Session at Rennsport Systems.

On the way there, I noticed that the low fuel lamp was lit steadily. Made mental note to self that this is cool, wonder how far I can go?

After the session started driving home, hit the on ramp to the freeway, hit the gas, sputter... sputter... die.

After cranking a bit I decide, no fuel. About that time, this fellow in a very large SUV stops, gets out, smiles a big grin and says, "run out of gas? Weren't you just at Rennsport?" As the blood drains back to rest of my body, I say yep and he offers me a lift to the store to get a gas can, a trip to the gas station and back to the car. Pour in some gas and away I go.

How far can I go with the low gas light on you ask? About 20 miles.

[wag]

god, what a dork... can't say that has ever happened to me (yeah right!!!)

just so happens that this just happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

little background... the Capacitive discharge was installed incorrectly by a machenic on the 74 911s and it would stall once in a while. finally got it fixed and it drove nicely.

just two or three weeks ago, i was driving around town, and car stopped on me as i was in the left turn lane. thinking that there's somehting wrong with the CD i sat there and waited. see, back when the CD was bad, if you let the car sit for around 20 minutes, it would start again.
anyway, 2 hours later, still stuck in the left turn lane... finally gave up and called a flat bed.

towed the car home, had to go to work in another car ( i was late) and couldn't for the life of me figure out what was wrong with the car.

finally, i thought, oh well, i'll just put some gas in it and see, b/c i can't possibly be one of those peopel that spend hour after hour diagnosing a car and all it needed was some gasoline.

sure enough, that's what it was

i have to admit, i've been working on cars for a while now (and a few exotics at that) for hobby. that has got to be the most stupidest thing i've ever done

[HarryD]

Ya caint be referring to me can ya?

[SilverPoly]

That's the kind of story you laugh about years later over a couple of cold ones. Thanks Ryan.

Nogas is a good name.

[Tim Walsh]

WOW I thought I was bad. I knew my headlights had drained my battery alot while testing my headlight cuircits so I didn't have much of a charge on my battery. I go to crank and crank and crank and only after I kill the battery do I realize "wait I forgot to crack the throttle" Ahh the joys of a first time porsche owner

[dickster]

ah, a man after my own heart!

How about this.

You’re on your way home from a nightclub with a mate and his girl in the early hours. its also january so freakin freezing out.

Your on the freeway when suddenly the car starts to miss, lose power, and finally come to a stop at the side of the road.

WTF?

Your miles from the nearest town. You go check under the hood but can’t see anything wrong. Then you have a bright idea. You disconnect the fuel line from the carb and get said mate to crank engine. Hey, no fuel!!

So you walk for freakin miles to buy a gas can and fill it with gas. Hours later you return to the car fill up and get on your way.

But WTF?? It still aint starting.

Confused you crank and crank and crank the engine.........

Then just as the light comes on in your head, “woosh” a bright glow appears from somewhere under the hood. And flames start to lick out.............

The three of you sit there in disbelief (just before panic sets in)

You forgot to re-attach the freakin fuel line.

Don’t mock, it could happen to you.

[AirCooledExcellence]

Rich,

Please tell me you're joking

Cheers

[bigchillcar]

Thanks for all the funny stories! OK, so what's the consensus...he's having trouble deciding upon a good name. So: Is it going to be 'nogas', 'nofuel'...help! If he doesn't come up with a name soon the board must assign one!
Ryan

[Tim Walsh]

emptytank?

[Jeremy Cottrell]

I know someone who actually bought a brand new fuel distributor for his SC, for $$$$ and it turned out to be out of gas. Nogas is the best name.

[nostatic]

ah, the SNSWNWDP begins to take shape...

[bigchillcar]

Nostatic,
I'll bite.....
Ryan

[nostatic]

Screen Name Starts With No WDP

I feel a t-shirt coming on...

[bigchillcar]

Is it too late to become 'nobigchillcar'?

[Kurt B]

You know the haynes manual actually has that as the first check in car won't turn over. "Gas in the tank" or something like that. So true.
Hahaha.
I put everything back together nervously after taking stuff off--just knowing it's not to start. Crank crank crank...oh *****, I blew it. Go back, start looking around, oh, yeah, forgot to put the distributor cap back on..phew.
Fires right up.