Bad Porsche Joke

[brawlins]

A friend of mine and I have a friendly rivalry going at work. His Mercedes versus my 911. He got me with a Porsche joke today:

What's the difference between a Porcupine and a Porsche?
With a Porcupine, the prick is on the outside.

Alright, give me some ammunition to get even.

[bell]

"i'll bet you're REAL popular with the kids who frequent the mall...........with your overengineered mercedes and all"






i got nuthin..........

[don911]

That's an oldie but a goodie.

I thought of that joke a few weeks ago when I was driving my wife's acu-crap car. This duffus in a boxter plastered with Hoosier stickers on the hood rode my a$$ up to a light. When we stopped I could hear his 12 year old girl music blasting away. I looked back expecting to see a 20 something jerk off and saw a guy that looked 50 bobbin his head around with his shades on (7:30 pm. the sun shines all the time when you're in a boxcar I guess). Anyway, we turned left at the light and he crossed both lanes and zoomed past me as fast as his boxtar could go.

People like him are the reason everyone hates porsche drivers.

Sorry I wasn't any help with ammo.

[304065]

Look him in the eye and repeat the following without smiling:

Event Overall Wins

Makes and Team World Championship...................................... .................14

Long Distance World Championship...................................... ..................8

IMSA Supercar-Series............................................ 3

German Racing Championship...................................6

European Hill Climbing Championship...................................... ..............20

Formula 1 World Championship (driver)
(McLaren with the engine designed and built by Porsche for TAG).............................................. .....3

Formula 1 victories
(McLaren with the engine designed and built by Porsche for TAG).............................................. ....25

Formula 1 victories
(together with the victory in Rouen in 1962)............................................. ............26

Daytona (24 Hour Race)..........................................20

Supercar-Race (USA)............................................. ..15

Le Mans (24 Hour Race)............................................. ......................16

Sebring (12 Hour Race)............................................. ......................17

Targa Florio............................................ ...............11

Rallye Monte Carlo............................................. .......4

Paris-Dakar Rallye............................................ ........2

[MarkP]

When you're the best, you don't have to boast.

[Sonic dB]

I got one for BMW but not for Mercedes...sorry...

What does BMW stand for?

Bring Mechanic Withyou.

ha ha ahaaha

[Wayne 962]

There are no Mercedes jokes because no one cares...

Nuff said...

-Wayne

[ZOA NOM]

A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money. He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, 'Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?' The man indeed had a job for the boy to do. He handed the boy a can of red paint and a brush. 'Paint my porch.' The boy was eager to do a good job and the man went back inside.
A couple hours later, the boy knocked on the door again. 'Okay, mister, I'm done painting. But I gotta tell ya, that's not a Porsche, it's a Mercedes.'

[bell]

Originally posted by Wayne at Pelican Parts
There are no Mercedes jokes because no one cares...

Nuff said...

-Wayne

well said......and probably your best ammo

[UTKarmann_Ghia]

hmmm, deja vu

[rcecale]

"Never ask a man what kind of car he drives. If he drives a Porsche, he'll tell you. If he doesn't....why embarass him?"

[RickM]

Don't Need a Mercedes
An elephant was drowning in quicksand. He saw a mouse, and he asked the mouse to save him. The mouse stated that he could not pull him out due to the size ratio, but he would go get his Mercedes, and see what he could do. So, the mouse got the Mercedes, threw a rope out to the elephant, and saved the elephant's life. The elephant was so grateful, he asked what he could do. The mouse said he would think of something.
Next week, the mouse was drowning in the quicksand. The mouse called out to the elephant, and reminded the elephant that he had saved his life the earlier week. The elephant lumbered up to the edge of the quicksand, extended his "male member" out as far as it would go, the mouse grabbed on, and the mouse's life was saved.

Moral of the story.....

If you have a big d*ck, you don't need a Mercedes..........


I think I'll go put my SL in the garage.

[gchappel]

BMW = Bring Money in Wheelbarrows

WHY DID THE L.A. COPS TAKE THE 911 EMERGENCY NUMBER OFF THE BACK OF THEIR CARS?
THE *****S KEPT STEALING THEM THINKING THEY WERE PORSCHES.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friends.


Gary

[ckissick]

If you're feeling down because everybody thinks you're a prick in your Porsche, just look in the mirror and say;

"I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and, gosh darn it, people like my car."

That oughta make you feel better.

Charlie
'70 911E
'50 VW (so people will like me)

[pwd72s]

I dunno 'bout the rest of you guys, but I always kind of looked at Mercedes as a car for the old folks....even the SL's...

[Superman]

I'll repeat a joke here that I heard here. Guards Red Porsche pulls up next to a Rolls Royce Limo. Porsche man rolls down his window and asks "You got a jacuzzi in that thing?" Light turns green and Porsche man zips away laughing. Rolls owner considers the question and proceeds to the dealership to ask about the jacuzzi option.

Later, looking for the red Porsche one night, Rolls man sees the car in the back parking lot of a movie theatre with the windows steamed up. He taps on the window a couple of time and, after a time, the window slides open a crack. Rolls man proudly announces that the jacuzzi has been installed in the limo. Porsche man replies "You got me out of the shower just to tell me that?"

[brawlins]

You guys are great! I printed out your postings and gave them to my Mercedes antagonist, and he cracked up about all the people that would take the time to insult him back!

[JeremyD]

The joke is Mercedes bought Chrysler as in daimler chrysler. I'm not sure anybody can talk crap when they have a car that's built by the same people who proudly bring us the Country Squire Minivan!