911 HVAC Meme

[ADDvanced]

Made this yesterday....

[Joesmallwood]

Ha! That explains it. Head scratcher, for sure!! Hahaha....

[wazzz]

This UI needs some functional testing. Arrows for AC Controls are pointing to emergency light switch and rear defogger switch. -

[megerian]

Not to mention the two levers on either side of the autoheat controller that open and close the flapper boxes for footwell heat

[theiceman]

ummmmm i dont think you made that .... but you might have put the headline on the top.

That diagram was made by a Canadian Rennlister.

[ADDvanced]

^ correct. I pull the levers up, I get heat on the driver's side. I put them down, I get no heat anywhere. That is about all I know about the HVAC of this car and I've owned it for 10 years.

[HarryD]

This is a commonly asked question, so I thought I would re-post something I found here for the old Porsche Email lists before the dawn of the Pelican.

Q: I just bought a 911 and can't figure out how to make the heater work -- or the fresh air either. Can you help me?

A: Sure, I can help you. The ventilation system requires that you operate 4 levers to make it work. 3 of the levers are on the dash, and the other is between the seats -- on newer Pooscheys there are 2 levers between the seats).

The top lever on the dash actually does several different things (remember, it is a fiendish German device, just like the rest of the car). Pushing it to the middle opens the dust ports leading to the windshield (see below for operation of fogging machine and oil mist spray device). Pushing it to the right past the middle also activates the rattling noise-maker device. There are three loudness levels to choose from. Pushing the lever all the way to the left is used to jam the cable so unauthorized personnel cannot operate any of the devices above. The lever also enables the automatic heat exchanger signaling device -- when opening it spews rust particles on the windshield, you should replace the heat exchangers. Also, if opening it causes you to immediately turn blue or purple (not just hair, but skin color) and become unconscious, you (or your estate) should definitely replace the heat exchangers.

The second lever from the top controls the lights on the White House Xmas tree. Move it to the middle to turn on the lights, and all the way to the right to fire 4500 Megatons of Nukes at Iran.

The bottom lever on the dash is used to replace the windshield when it becomes scratched or pitted with rock chips. It also determines how much hot air goes to your feet as opposed to your head. For example, let's say the engine is completely warmed up and the hot air is burning your feet. If it's a cold day, you can flip the lever to the other side and shoot hot air onto the windshield so it cracks and shatters. Then call your insurance company (you do have insurance, don't you?)

The lever between the seats controls the oil mist spray device. When the engine is warmed up, this lever allows you to blow oil mist into the passenger cabin. Using the top dash lever lets you select whether you want the oil mist to coat the inside of the windshield or to just circulate around your feet. On a newer Pooschey, you have 2 levers on the floor between the seats. The left hand lever lets you open the left side vents which are aimed so they burn the feet of the person in the right hand seat, and the right hand lever lets you open the right side vents which are aimed so they burn the feet of the person in the left hand seat. Of course, each lever will also burn just the tops of the feet of the person in the other seat. If you are driving in the rain (or even stopped in the rain after the car has broken down), these levers also let you spray a fog of water vapor on the windshield, so no one can see in or out of the car -- sort of like privacy glass

[proporsche]

Originally Posted by theiceman

ummmmm i dont think you made that .... but you might have put the headline on the top.

That diagram was made by a Canadian Rennlister.

yup that is correct..beats me why would anybody say i made it ???

Ivan

[megerian]

okay, he clearly states in the title that its a meme , and that is what a meme is, you take an existing photo and add a funny caption - he added the caption at the top.

[proporsche]

Originally Posted by megerian

okay, he clearly states in the title that its a meme , and that is what a meme is, you take an existing photo and add a funny caption - he added the caption at the top.

ok,did not see the fine print my bad;-)
Ivan

[theiceman]

for those who dont have the manual

[theiceman]

and this one..

[Anjizkit]

oh man.. after a year I thought I knew this.. now I am even more confused.

for maximum AC efficiency ( I live in Texas lol) my guess is use "normal setting?"

[tsuter]

No, you want top levers far left for maximum AC efficiency.
Only on "normal" to introduce some outside air if the car is heat soaked from sitting outside to get in outside air that will be "cooler". But far better is leave those levers far left and wind windows down a few inches when heat soaked and drive until you feel your AC starting to cool, then windows UP.

[theiceman]

oh i should add ..i dont think germans think Ac is normal lol.. they never lived in Texas.

[ADDvanced]

After reading both of those images I am still confused AF.

[theiceman]

Originally Posted by ADDvanced

After reading both of those images I am still confused AF.

Hitlers revenge for WW2.