Bird Death Guilt Trip

[Les Paul]

I live in the panhandle of Texas. The part at the top that kind of sucks for trees, rivers, lakes, towns, cities, and scenery. We do have miles and miles of endless FM farm to market roads that are rarely traveled. On any given day it isn't likely that you'd see more than 1 car or truck every 5-10 miles. So the birds that think they have to sit in the road till the last second before they lift off are used to traffic going 70 or so. Over the years I'd hate to count the # of these little beasts that think they have to act like Kamakazi pilots. Why oh why do they do it? When my kids were younger and we'd go for long ride in the country it used to gross them out when 4 or 5 of these critters saw fit to play dodge not, the car. And it is really disconcerting when they almost make it and slam into the windshield at you know, whatever speed instead of the spoiler where at least the impact isn't as in you face so to speak. The sound, the fury, the feathers, the splot, and the poor remains in the rearview mirror fluttering down. Occasionally we have those honest to goodness Buzzards. You know those giant critters with a 5 ft wingspan that consume other road kill. I've heard to many stories about them coming through windshields in a glorious blast of skankin road stew. I've managed to miss them so far. We had a cat that spotted a bird in the front spoiler after a run one time yum yum just picked it right out of there. From then on he always checked it out after he knew we'd been for a run. The lazy turd. Does anyone make one of those little whistle looking things for birds like they do for deer?

[Zeke]

Well, if there's only 1 car for every 5 miles, just stick your Colt out the window and shoot at them as you approach.

Careful not to blow your headlight off.

[Les Paul]

Today is an example. I think I hit 4 or 5 on a 17 mile run. One of them never even got off the ground instead lifting off in time to smash into the underbody right under my seat. Little feller never had a chance.

[Randy Webb]

Well, that's sad but maybe there are lots of them if there are that many to be hit on the road. What kind are they - do you know?

Probably they are in the road because it is warmer and they can see better than if they sat on the ground. They may also be going for gravel but I'd think that would put them on the edges of the road, not the center crown.

Birds did not evolve to be able to evade 60 mph ground threats. If you dove on them at 6-90 mph like a hawk, they'd pick that up right away.

A deer whistle device might well work. Birds can hear the (human) ultrasonic just like deer and dogs do. Try it. You could try flashing the headlights.

If you were in a city, I'd hope that you were hitting starlings, thus saving our native species... not likely way out yonder.

[singpilot]

It's nature weeding out the stupid.

I hit one on the way to Vegas yesterday morning. Bounced off of the windshield, then plastered onto the front of the semi behind me.

He got a free ride across the state line.

[Les Paul]

Tell that to an 8 year old girl and 2 year old boy when they drill into the windshield and it sounds like a bomb going off. One of the problems is they tend to let the weeds grow 3-4 feet tall in the ditches before they cut them around here. Since these FM roads have no shoulder it feels like going through a real tight tunnel. So these birds are down there scrounging for wheat that has blown off grain trucks obvlivious to the danger bearing down on them, and before they've finshed it's the last supper.

[singpilot]

Yeah, that did sound a little crass. It scares the s out of me too, but I don't know how else to deal with it.

[84toy]

I drive to work on a beautiful National Forest road that is closed all winter and open in the summer with almost no traffic (Mormon Emigrant Trail). The road is wide, beautiful, VERY fast and full of squirrels, chipmunks and many birds that I was hitting all the time and yes it makes me feel bad. Now I leave a hand on the horn and when I see the little critters on the road I just start tapping the horn and have reduced the kill rate by 90% Loud horns really help.

The hits on the windshield ruins my morning coffee and spoils my donut....

[Les Paul]

I used to coach cross country and track. Over the years we had a course we aptly named the loop, as it looped around the city limits. There is a creek that runs through town that intersects the loop several miles from town. For years there has been a herd?, whatever you call a bunch of wild turkeys, that frequent this creek. They cross the road on the loop and if any of you know how dumb wild turkeys are you know they are some dumb asses. . . So, invariably one or two get drilled every year and nobody picks them off the road. So they sit there, stinking, rotting, stinking, rotting, smelling so freaking bad that if you run by them and get down wind you are gonna hurl if you don't hold your breath. So it is good to watch out for these nabobs if taking a run with the crew, or a drive in the P-car. As it happened some years ago I drilled one a glancing blow in the car. In my rearview mirrow I see it make it off the road and kind of forget about it till some days later when our crew is running out there. It is mid July, a time for some serious rottage. I have forgotten about the thing and we run into the cloud of the most insidious heve inducing stench imaginable. We are gagging, laughing, and trying not to be the first to spew. The fool bird had managed to make it slightly off the road and under a guard rail where the blow flies were feasting in frenzy. As we ran by and stirred their midday meal, disturbing their turkey dinner, they deemed it necessary to give chase, or so it seemed to our rabble. Oh, the joy. I never fessed up that it was I who ran the beast assunder.

[Fishcop]

Oh dear, here I was thinking my drive around California next month was going to be free of the usual carnage we experience in Australia

This is as awful as it sounds... I (and my offsider)drive approximately 40,000 mi (65,000 km) in my work Toyota Landcruiser all around the arid parts of Queensland, Australia (centre and to the right looking at a map). We really do endure the guilt of approximately 15 kangaroos, 3 emus, 10 small furry and cute marsupials and countless birds per year.

I've tried everything to reduce my toll on the highway including whistles, electronic warning devices, lights, adjusting speed, the horn, and various swerving techniques. I have failed.

My vet knows me well from the various animals I bring in after a trip that I or my offsider have managed to nurse until our return. Here in Australia vets must treat native animals at no charge.... My vet hates me

I shudder to think how I'd scar children travelling with me!

[Sonic dB]

I think some of the comments here related to animal cruelty or just plain being smar assses simply show your ignorance and cruelty at heart. Joking about killing and death of any other living thing just makes you people look like idiots and show the true colors and lack of character that you have on the inside. Im glad that Im not like you.

[Porschekid962]

Well that is some constructive criticism for you. Do you really think we are driving around trying to kill animals? I doubt it, I am pretty sure the first question asked was it possible to use a deer whistle to get the birds out of the way. Moving along, I still remember coming back from CATCH AND RELEASE fly fishing with my dad in Jackson Hole and all the dead animals I saw on the side of the road when BOOM, a buzzard flies across the road and whacks the windshield of the rental car. I thought the engine blew up or we were being shot at. Very scary, we looked back and the bird was nowhere to be seen, very tough animals.

SonicDB, let he without sin cast the first stone. Get off your soapbox buddy will ya, there was no maliscious intent here as far as I can tell, maybe I am just a bad person in your eye in that case. The comment about pullin the Colt out, heck one shot and the report would scare anything off, most people are not good enough shots to kill an animal while driving a car at 60+ and I am guessing the shot would be at least 100 yards and we are talking a pistol here.

Ok, enough from the village idiot, I am off.

[Fishcop]

I hope you don't think I was joking Sonic? There was no sarcasm or jest in my reply...

[Paul Franssen]

Originally posted by Zeke
Well, if there's only 1 car for every 5 miles, just stick your Colt out the window and shoot at them as you approach.

Careful not to blow your headlight off.

That, Dear Zeke, reminds me of the real Lawrence of Arabia who, riding his camel took a shot at some Turkish soldier and, instead, shot his own camel in the back of the head (real event, as per Lawrence's own writings in "The seven pillars of wisdom". I have however read that Lawrence had a broad imagination...)

[304065]

Les,

Recommend you install "buzzard bars" to prevent penetration of windshield by larger species. First seen on MB Gullwing in the 1952 Carrera Panamericana.



P.S. I have always enjoyed your guitars.

[juanbenae]

so its not just armadillos and steer down there in the lone star state?

[911SCfanatic]

socal911sc, nice seinfeld reference.

[R Wilco]

My wife and I were just discussing this thread. To the guy that was offended. Come to the panhandle, take a ride at anything over 70 and you are going to hit something on the narrow FM roads. Several months ago my son who had his drivers permit (15) asked if he could take his mothers FX-35 for a drive at around 9 as he needed some nightime driving. So reluctantly I agree. He'd only driven it 1 time before. So we go on one of our Porsche roads out in the country. It has some great sweepers, some hills, and at 9 in the evening is basically deserted. We are enjoying the ride until we crest a hill doing about 70 and there are 3 deer. Two to the right in the ditch, one to the left in the ditch. He did the right thing going to the middle of the road and hitting the brakes. I couldn't have done better myself. Unfortunately one of the deer bolted the wrong way. Right into the right side of the car. Its horn gouged a rip in the metal aft of the front wheel housing, and spun it around where its ass hit the back door and wheel. There was fur caught between the rim and the tire it hit so hard. My son was shaken, I was shaken, and we expected the deer to be in the ditch flopping around when we turned around. All 3 had vamoosed. We got home and my wife didn't just think it could have been worse. She was pissed to say the least. I went out the next day in the light and found the tracks and followed them for several miles into some canyons expecting to find some buzzard bait. Nothing. The deer are even worse the further down state one travels. From Abeline to Austin or San Antonio is like playing dodge ball with the deer at night. I have never been an hunter seeing as how Bambi had a lasting impact on me, really, but I'm glad someone likes to hunt them, they are way overpopulated. Another thing we have here in Texas is Amadillo's. We rarely see them live but rather on their backs, usually on the shoulder of the roads. Sometimes the high school kids will put an empty beer can between their paws which, well you make your judgement.

[Hugh R]

Years ago I came over a rise at about 70 in my Aston Martin and hit a possum. It took out my oil cooler scoop under the bumper, ripped off the oil cooler and shoved it into my fan which promptly broke, shatter the attached water pump and jammed a big a$$ hole in my aluminum radiator. Did over $1,500 damage with no collision or comp insurance (I was a student). All my date could say was "The poor possum!"

[R Wilco]

Not to one up you, but years ago I had just finished a Cal look bug. No front bumber, flush look front end. I hit a jack rabbit on the way to work doing 70. Actually it ran in front of the car so it's not like it was on purpose. It hit so hard it pushed the fender into the wheel which I had to pull out before I could continue on. And it ruined all the glass work I had finished the week before. But I had rabbit stew for dinner that night. No, not reeealy.