a few notes on long roadtrips:

[air-cool-me]

after 1600 miles from WA to AZ i have a few pointers:

*If its going to rain.... make sure the car doesn't leak...
- its not very much fun to fall asleep in the passenger seat and then wake-up to your car peeing on you in left turns..

*if you can... raise the car up a touch before the trip not after..
- who ever made the decision on how high the speed-bumps at the MGM grand should be.....needs to be shot...

- its not very much fun to run-over tenderized road kill and feel it smack the floor pan underneath your feet... then make the whole car smell like hamburgers when raccoon flash starts to cook on you HE's... when you pull over... no amount of scraping and abuse of gas-station window cleaners can remove the red and yellow goo...

*when in Oregon.. don't ever assume the gas-guy knows what hes doing when he fills your car...

-"ive filled plenty of these" really means "i will try to put 87 octane in the hidden gas tank at the rear of your car. when i cant find it i will stand at the back of your car and ask you to pop the fuel door.."

*your friends-girlfriends-roommate is never nice... always a huge B itch.. dont stop ... Ihop is a better choice

-when your 4 hours into a 24hour trip and your bud says that you can grab some toast at his girlfriends house up the way... don't stop.. her roommate is always satanic spawn.. toast isnt worth it..

*note*: if it was "too early for people to be awake in "our house"... I wonder if she loved that second gear roll by at 4k in the 911? (make sure exhaust is facing bedroom for max effect)


*dont ever tell your co-driver to wake you up "before the twisty northern California roads", so that you can drive he wont wake you up until you hit Nevada...and 300miles of dusty hell


!truckers have radios.... don’t pass them at 125... they don’t like it...
be prepared for dirty looks the rest of your trip.. even if you left miles of space...

*do not stick you hand out the window above 80mph

you know those green and yellow marks grasshoppers leave on your window at 100mph? they leave all that and a fatty bruise on your arm...



*if you don’t want it to fail... it will

I hoped my starter worked after rolling down 3 miles to the hover dam with the car off... nothing like bump starting your sports-car with 900 Japanese tourists looking at you

*know your root's
even though you have five times the horsepower as that VW beetle... you are both still reduced to 55mph when its +100* outside



i have million more... but a real bed is calling... feel free to add to the pointers

[Jays72T]

Too funny, thanks for the tips.

[Fishcop]

Don't marry someone who gets car sick....

[Rick Lee]

Don't eat the yellow snow either!

Another one I witnessed at the track yesterday - don't drain brake fluid into a soda bottle, cap it and then put the bottle back in your cooler. Yes, he got a swallow of it.

[}{arlequin]

ha ha ha.... he was just getting intimate w/ his car!

[VincentVega]

Busted!

But, but, it wasnt in the cooler, it was just next to it.

[}{arlequin]

was it clear or was it "blue"? if blue, i'll never bring grape soda to the track again

[masraum]

Originally posted by Rick Lee
Don't eat the yellow snow either!

Another one I witnessed at the track yesterday - don't drain brake fluid into a soda bottle, cap it and then put the bottle back in your cooler. Yes, he got a swallow of it.

D@MN! So, spits or swallows?? At least, I'm sure the car appreciated the gesture.

[Drago]

When on a group drive never pass the guy with the V-1.

[randywebb]

How did the raccoon taste?

[Emission]

Friend of mine did 160+ in his 3.6 Turbo. He pissed off a few truckers who called him in. CHP was waiting for him at the gas station 20 miles up the road. They couldn't do anything - didn't catch him in the act - except harass him (yes, he deserved it)... but it nearly cost him a pair of clean undershorts!

[Jgordon]

I have a ton of these, I'll post more later (Just did a cross country trip this summer)

It's possible to talk your way out of 110 in Texas, but not 87 in AZ. WTF?

If you drive in early spring, be aware that in addition to being good road trip weather, it's also fertilizing season, and much of the country will smell like poop.

110 in Montana doesn't feel that fast. 140 anywhere feels fast.

Like I said, more later....Good thread.

[air-cool-me]

"How did the raccoon taste?"
smelled like burgers... then burnt hair.. then burnt burgers...

[sammyg2]

Quote "It's possible to talk your way out of 110 in Texas, but not 87 in AZ. WTF?"

Geez, I got pulled over in Arizona for doing 74 in a 75 mph zone. The highway patrolman was hiding in the center divider on the 10 just west of the 60 (but I knew he was there, I've seen them there many times plus my parents who live in wickenburg warned me about them).
I had the cruise control set for 1 mph under the speed limit and still got pulled over. He was nice enough to let me off with a written warning THAT I HAD TO SIGN! It was either that or a ticket, I signed.
That was after he searched my car and gave me a lecture, for what I never figured out. I had to bite my toungue so hard i nearly bit right through it.
Freaking arizona highway nazis I tell you. AAAARRRGGGG!

[450knotOffice]

Warning for WHAT, Sam? You were doing LESS than the posted speed limit.

What'd he try to get you for...driving too fast for the prevailing conditions?

[Jims5543]

Originally posted by Emission
Friend of mine did 160+ in his 3.6 Turbo. He pissed off a few truckers who called him in. CHP was waiting for him at the gas station 20 miles up the road. They couldn't do anything - didn't catch him in the act - except harass him (yes, he deserved it)... but it nearly cost him a pair of clean undershorts!

I guess a good tip would be to invest in a handheld CB for road trips. This way when the truckers rat you out you can say hello to them and get off the next exit.

Its also good to have in case of an accident and road closure = seek alternate route before the traffic comes to a stop. This is where a good GPS nav system comes in handy. We used it last weekend in North Carolina to get around a huge backup in the interstate.

[randywebb]

Well, next time let me know sooner and I'll send you a recipe for raccoon jambalaya...

[RoninLB]

Don't expect deer not to jump in front of you just because he's looking at you.

If you see bear protection metal storage containers at your camp site go somewhere else.

If you're sleeping with cougars wear a knife on each hip outside your jacket. Carry the 18.5" Mossberg with pistol handle so the neighbors can't see you.

If in Oregun ask the attendant if he's heard the outcome of the Lambo $20k lawsuit against the station for scratching his car.

Look for small planes riding parallel to the road.

Big rig dirt haulers are allowed in the left lane in Az.

When on Nev open range roads ask why the HP won't patrol "that" rd at night and why speeders can go as fast as they want.

When the HP follows you after beating their trap pull over and get out of the car asap.

If you're hit by the same trap 2x show the HP your 1st receipt for some professional courtesy.

CB's are great.

[Nitrometano]

Fill full the windshield washer reservoir tank or you can not remove the ugly, stinky, slimy and sticky yellow goo from the insects.

[sammyg2]

Well, I was cruising along at 74 mph, with one eye on the road and one eye on him in the mirror. He follwed me for about 2 miles, (I was laughing to myself because I thought he couldn't get me). He hit the lights. I said something about his mother, and then looked for a place to move over. As soon as I saw an opening I moved to the right lane, and then onto the shoulder.
That SOB gave me a written warning for following too close and making a lane change without signalling which was total BS, I did signal before moving over, but not for the prescribed time according to Adolf. I guess we have to signal for 3 seconds before executing a lane change? In So. Cal. that is a good way to ensure the other cars have time to cut you off and close the gap.
When he told me what he was warning me for, I did start to argue that I would not have moved over at all if he didn't have the damn lights on, and that I didn't carry a stop watch to time my signalling. That's when he asked me if I wanted to sign a warning or a ticket.

I've been told that the 4th amendment does not necessarily apply to motor vehicles on a public highway.
Like it or not, they have a right to search a vehicle if they have resonable suspicion of a crime being committed, or if they suspect the vehicle of being unsafe or operated in an unsafe manner. Basically you let them search, or they tow it for some BS charge and search it anyway. How hard would it be for this SOB to acuse me of something just to search the car? Not very hard.
I didn't have anything in the car that I wouldn't have in church, so why not let the nazi search?

Now here's the funny part: Before this happened I liked cops and stood up for them. I have friends who are cops. I regularly attend a small bible study group at a sherriff's house and I think he's a darned good person and I'm proud to call him a friend. I think most of em are pretty good people. But after being treated that way by this a-hole, I almost changed my mind. I figured that things like this only happened in the deep south by good ole boys or in movies.
I got over it tho.

PS, I was on my way back from New Mexico where I attended my grandmother's funeral. On that entire trip there and back, I probably never exceeded the posted limit by more than 5 or 6 mph.
I've found that on long trips it isn't worth it to speed, I always cruise near the speed limit and try not to stop for anything except for gas and food.
So not only was this clown hassling me for something I didn't do, he was also hassling one of the best behaved drivers on that road. Even if he was just following orders from his a-hole boss he still should have been man enough to refuse.