Funny stuff from The Onion!

I don't know if you guys read the spoof newspaper called The Onion (www.theonion.com), but here's an automotive bit from the current issue:


MAN NODS KNOWINGLY AT MECHANIC

GREENSBORO, NC-- Attempting to conceal his ignorance of car repair, area resident Dave Snell, 39, nodded knowingly Monday as mechanic Bill Kreuter explained the precise nature of Snell's automotive problem. "He was telling me that the car had, like, a faulty alternator plug," Snell said. "So, you know, that's something that definitely needs to be fixed." Snell said his risky bluff almost backfired when Kreuter asked him how he gaps his plugs, to which Snell responded, "About the usual amount."

This sort of reminds me of a real-life experience: About 15 years ago, I owned my first Porsche - a 1973 911T. I had a very good independant mechanic, but he was quite slow. Although the car was running fine, I decided it needed new plugs, points, etc. - a quick tune-up. And what better place to take it than the brand new 'Precision Tune' franchise that just opened down the street - they advertised (the then new) state-of-the-art computer diagnostic equipment. The car was dropped off on my way to work in the morning and was promised to be finished at lunch time.

My brother gave me a ride to pick it up at noon and as we pulled in to the parking lot a cold sweat poured over my face: 4 white-shirted mechanics were hunched over the back of my car! "Crrrap! This can't be a good", I thought. "Is there a problem?", I asked. "Ah, well, you see we're having a bit of trouble getting it started ..... you see these German cars have reverse polarity and won't work with our computer equipment." So I stand around for 20 minutes watching this crack squad of geniuses fiddling around with my baby. Suddenly, it roars to life! But sounds like its running on 5 cylinders. "OK, leave it running and give me the *&$#^%ing car. I'll pay for the sparkplugs and take it as is." I sputtered home and parked it, then made an embarrassing call to my mechanic and explained my predictament. "Hmmmm, sounds like the points to me. Go out and eyeball them and make sure there's a slight gap." I went out and readjusted them by eyeball only. Got in, started it up and it ran as good as new.

I think there's a lesson to be learned in here somewhere

Hmm...sound like a clear case of failing to adjust your Fitzer valve!


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blue
'81 SC Targa

Lucky for CEGERER that the tuning mechanics didn't mess with his exhaust manifold, inline adjustable votex valves. My P-Car mechanic adjusts mine every 5,000 miles although the his rate is a bit pricey, about $300. With the SSIs, he keeps mine set at 22 degrees during the winter months but opens them up to about 27.5 degrees for the Drivers Ed season. He assures me that keeping them properly adjusted and clean will help the longevity of the engine. I believe him. He is my Porsche wrench!
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Chuck
83SC

Remember the movie: Mr. Mom ??

"220, 221 whatever it takes...."