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AFJuvat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Viera FL
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Stupid People

Thought the 911 folks might appreciate this...

Well, a slow day in the shop today - until a customer (who shall be known as dumbass) came in with his car (996 Carrera 4) on a towtruck.

Dumbass states that his car mysteriously "stopped running" while he was on a high speed run along I-95.

As I am the junior mechanic (meaning I have 10 years experience, as opposed to the other guys haveing 15+) I am told to "troubleshoot"

Great!, don't see too many 996's, as most of them are still under factory warranty so they go the the dealership for repairs.

Visual inspection of the engine shows some heat discoloration - hmm...

Coolant tank shows the dreaded "chocolate malt" Something is wrong here - it almost looks like a "chocolate/strawberry malt" Car has less than 5k miles on it - no stamp in the book for an oil change - we stamp the books too - we can't use the Porsche stamp though.

Pull the dipstick - same thing - oil is at correct level - notice a band of red fluid at the upper end of the dipstick. ((PUZZLING - but getting a vague sinking feeling))

Drain oil - hmmm...it just doesn't look right - then again all of those metal flakes shouldn't be there... but the oil just looks "Wrong" Smells burned.

Take dumbass into the office. Ask him to describe what happened, what he was doing, what did his gauges read, any odd noises.

Dumbass states that nothing out of the ordinary until about 2 minutes before the car stalled - engine temp spiked. dumbass then added that car has not run right since he changed the oil....

I ask "really, tell me about your oil change"

dumbass states that a friend told him you can desludge an engine (mind you less than 5000 miles on odo.) by running transmission fluid through the engine!!!!!!

I ask dumbass to go on. Dumbass states that when he changed the oil, he put 2 quarts of oil, and 5.5 quarts of transmission fluid in the engine. He did this to desludge the engine.

At this point, I excuse myself and get the owner. Fill him in on situation. Owner talks to dumbass, I drop the oil pan.

End result, as you have probably gathered by now - engine is TOAST.

With a big grin, gave the customer the diagnosis and the estimate.

$15,000 to rebuild (and you think 911 parts are expensive!) - that is assuming nothing else pops up.

or he can just give us $35,000 and we can order him a new engine.

there are sportscar owners, and then there are people who own sportscars.

Dumbass is thinking about it - will call on monday.

AFJuvat

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Last edited by AFJuvat; 10-12-2002 at 11:15 PM..
Old 10-12-2002, 11:13 PM
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How did Dumbass become involved?

Is the owner Dumbass or was someone driving his car? Why the hell!?!?! If my dog could drive, he would know better than that...and he pisses all over the carpet.
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Old 10-12-2002, 11:45 PM
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Yeah, but did it get the sludge out?
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Old 10-12-2002, 11:52 PM
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That is so sad I can't evin begin to comprehend what was going on through Dumbass and his friends heads that they'd fill it up with tranny oil. chocolate/strawberry malt? Jeez, it shouldn't even be chocolate, let alone with the strawberry mixed in. So he's "thinking" about it huh? Maybe he should think about investing in a new brain before taking on another DIY with his 911.

later,

amir
Old 10-12-2002, 11:53 PM
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He was the owner.

Not to stereotype, but he is the type that bought the car because of the name/status that went with owning one (in other words, kind of like the Boxster owner stereotype we all pick/laugh at)

AFJuvat
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Ihr Brunnen der nutzlosen Porsche Information
Old 10-12-2002, 11:53 PM
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WTH?

WTH is the point of desludging an engine, anyway, and how do you do it (other than running tranny fluid through it)?
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Last edited by YTNUKLR; 10-13-2002 at 10:49 AM..
Old 10-13-2002, 12:01 AM
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You can do it by running tranny fluid through it - but not on a car with 5k miles and you can't actually DRIVE the car with little to no oil in it....

guess we can put this one in the "more money than common sense" category

He is a CPA by trade

AFJuvat
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Ihr Brunnen der nutzlosen Porsche Information
Old 10-13-2002, 12:12 AM
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From reading other threads I thought 996 engines were cheaper than dirt. So cheap that it made more sense to replace than rebuild.

?
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Old 10-13-2002, 01:05 AM
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Well, he will have a clean engine after all.
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Old 10-13-2002, 03:19 AM
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I used to say that people amaze me, but they don't anymore. I do find that the general public is about as sharp as a bowling ball though. I was dropping my car off yesterday to have some work done and there was a C4 on the rack with new Ghl pipes on it with a large air intake going on so I began to talk to the mechanic about this car. He said the last shop(Porsche dealer) who worked on the car overtightened a fuel line and it cought fire on their test drive so this mechanic rebuilt the car and then the guy doesn't chang his oil for 5 years. He acutually thought you didn't need to change the oil but every 5 years.

All I say is hmmm, what an idiot.
Old 10-13-2002, 03:40 AM
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Reminds me of the time in high school that a friends sister had a problem with her car.

Seems that she was out on the road and had just put it in first gear after stopping when she heard a loud clunk and then the car wouldn't move. She got out, saw something laying under the car so she picked it up and put it in the backseat.

Turns out that the DRIVESHAFT was now in the backseat. Seems the old clunker dropped the shaft and since she didn't know what it was just thought she'd take it home in case it was important.

Moral: crazy things happen regardless of the car or wealth of the driver.


AFJuvat - you must have some other great stories so please hit us with them from time to time.
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Old 10-13-2002, 04:14 AM
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Maybe dumbass's friend wasn't actually a friend who liked him that much.....Maybe he was jealous of dumbass's car and thought he'd screw him up......... Poor old dumbass.

Unbelievable........
Old 10-13-2002, 06:30 AM
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I was at the local dealer last month to pick up some parts and they had a 996 motor on floor in the garage. I asked the parts guy "What's up with the motor?" He said the customer holed the oil pan and kept driving. They replaced the motor including labor for $10K something (less than $11K).
Steve Weiner told me that it wasn't worth rebuilding them because they were so cheap relative to the cost of rebuilding one.
-Chris
Old 10-13-2002, 06:31 AM
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Maybe you can find him a good, used 3.2...
Old 10-13-2002, 09:17 AM
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Lightbulb

YTNUKLR: At least one of your assumptions is flawed. Which one?
Old 10-13-2002, 10:40 AM
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Dougcl

Yes, I see that now. Fixed it. Hey, are you buying a black '57 A Coupe?
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Old 10-13-2002, 10:52 AM
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I've seen a lot of 996 engines with low miles for $4-6k on Ebay and other salvage places. Even my mechanic has a few sitting in his shop.
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Old 10-13-2002, 01:23 PM
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Dumbass; I like it. Sounds like a name Red Forman would call someone on That 70's Show.
Old 10-13-2002, 01:34 PM
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Jeez, Dumbass, with friends like that who needs an ex-wife?
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Old 10-13-2002, 03:47 PM
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996 parts, including whole engines, are much cheaper than previous 911's including the 993's. Body panels are at least 50% cheaper for example. Obviously this is a result of the lower costs associated with manufacturing these new parts and higher volumes. But I find it interesting that the base car is still quite expensive.

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Old 10-13-2002, 03:54 PM
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