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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Yuma, Arizona
Posts: 216
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Twas the night before xmas & the Porsche was dead

This just came across the 356Registry Talk - Happy Holidays

____________

Twas the night before Christmas and the Porsche was dead
Should I work on the car, or go straight to bed?

Everything was connected, in proper place
What was I missing? My steps I'll retrace.

The wires were nestled all snug on their plugs,
Just waiting to fire, new pistons and jugs

And Mamma in bed, and I in the shop,
I twisted the key, a sputter, a pop

When from the back end, there arose such a clatter,
I banged my head, then my lip got fatter

Away to the engine, I flew like a flash
Tore open the lid, and burnt my moustache!
I grabbed the extinguisher, just in time
And stood there in awe, like a motionless mime

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
A gas leak, and tin work, and decals that seared
With a little old screwdriver, so lively and quick
I tightened the clamp, What a DIPSTICK!

More rapid than eagles my curses they came
Oh I was pissed, but I was to blame

"You, IDIOT! You, FOOL! You're STUPID and a BUM!
You're PATHETIC! You're a HACK! You're a TURKEY and DUMB!"
Back to the cockpit! A twist of the switch!
Now crank away! Crank away! Crank away *****!

As gas started gass'n and sparks started spark'n
They both came together; the exhaust started bark'n
So up on the tach, the RPM's flew
>I'm going for a drive, beyond my curfew.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the house
The pissing and moaning, of my strict little spouse
As I backed out the door, and was turning around
Across the driveway she came, with jacket and hound

She was dressed and prepped, to go for a ride
How could I fault her, we all got inside
We motored with snow, billowing over the roof
Too bad this tub, isn't rustproof!

Her lights-- how they twinkled! Her handling how merry!
Her temperature was rising, I was smitten by Ferry!
His cool little car, ripped down the road
Hope we make it back home, without getting towed

I was excited and nervous, white knuckled the wheel
A friendship was forming, like B.B. and Lucille.
My smile grew bigger, from ear to ear
As I threw in the clutch, and shifted the gear

We slid and dog tracked around every turn
I redlined and redlined with little concern
The smooth power curve, of the Maestro cam
Guidance and books; I'm happy as a clam

I continued to drive, through the downtown
Past carolers and skaters, without a letdown
And easing my shoe, into the throttle
We headed home, with no further doddle

As we pulled out of town, a sweet buzz and whistle,
Escaped from the bursch, like a lethal scud missile
And the list members heard, as I roared out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a Good-Night"

Old 12-21-2002, 04:52 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: northfield, Ma.
Posts: 219
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Great! thanks for sharing! Happy Holidays!
__________________
Old 12-22-2002, 02:19 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 93
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Hey,

I laughed my ass off when the "exhuast started barkin' ." Good stuff. Got any more?

Frank

Old 12-31-2002, 06:07 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #3 (permalink)
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